General Writing Discussion Thread | Current Topic: NaNoWriMo
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RE: Writer's Lounge
I'm thinking about writing a fan fic about Secret species of Ponyta's, and their leader a Rapidash. I wanna give the plot, other than I have very little to give... Well, here is the plot, tell me what you think
Plot;
As the young mother of 3 ponyta's, she is discouraged to find a shadowling among her young. she quickly leaves him to the mercy of the wild. The poor thing has no where to live, and cannot walk very well yet. He quickly learns to run, and survive. at the end of his childhood, he finds a trainer, just like him, they look both like shadows. The trainer has dark hair, penetrating dark eyes, along with dark clothes. Nobody ever sees his eyes, but they're just like lighting, cold, and fast. They are a bright blue, and white towards the center.
That's all I have, tell me what you think?
I'm thinking about writing a fan fic about Secret species of Ponyta's, and their leader a Rapidash. I wanna give the plot, other than I have very little to give... Well, here is the plot, tell me what you think
Plot;
As the young mother of 3 ponyta's, she is discouraged to find a shadowling among her young. she quickly leaves him to the mercy of the wild. The poor thing has no where to live, and cannot walk very well yet. He quickly learns to run, and survive. at the end of his childhood, he finds a trainer, just like him, they look both like shadows. The trainer has dark hair, penetrating dark eyes, along with dark clothes. Nobody ever sees his eyes, but they're just like lighting, cold, and fast. They are a bright blue, and white towards the center.
That's all I have, tell me what you think?
RE: Writer's Lounge
^Not really...
Come to think of it, probably, some kid at my school was being raceist, and that kinda made me pretty mad.
I think I got a middle, were they are going against the government who have banned all of the shadow Ponyta's and other people that seem to be different...
^Not really...
Come to think of it, probably, some kid at my school was being raceist, and that kinda made me pretty mad.
I think I got a middle, were they are going against the government who have banned all of the shadow Ponyta's and other people that seem to be different...
RE: Writer's Lounge
Racism always has a very long and lengthy background. I know a guy who still thinks that black people aren't really...people. Of course he was born in Alabama or Arkansas. Regardless, when there is any kind of racial tension or discrimination you need a background story that stretches back a fair ways.
For example, I have three races of creatures similar to humans (humans are the fourth "greater" race in this group). Two of them, the Gargathians and Morphenites are constantly in war throughout the entire history of the universe. Their hatred burns throughout the ages and never dies. This stems from the very dawn of their existence when each race was given a different set of powers. They became jealous of each other and warred over it, trying to prove that one was superior over the other.
Racism always has a very long and lengthy background. I know a guy who still thinks that black people aren't really...people. Of course he was born in Alabama or Arkansas. Regardless, when there is any kind of racial tension or discrimination you need a background story that stretches back a fair ways.
For example, I have three races of creatures similar to humans (humans are the fourth "greater" race in this group). Two of them, the Gargathians and Morphenites are constantly in war throughout the entire history of the universe. Their hatred burns throughout the ages and never dies. This stems from the very dawn of their existence when each race was given a different set of powers. They became jealous of each other and warred over it, trying to prove that one was superior over the other.
RE: Writer's Lounge
^that's a total raciest...
With the plot, shadow Pokemon and the regulars have always had issues, mainly due to the fact that they are much more powerful. whole cities have rebelled against them, and caused trouble. That's why wild pokemon that aren't civilized aren't happy to have shadowlings, becuase of the fact that they may get killed also...
like that?
^that's a total raciest...
With the plot, shadow Pokemon and the regulars have always had issues, mainly due to the fact that they are much more powerful. whole cities have rebelled against them, and caused trouble. That's why wild pokemon that aren't civilized aren't happy to have shadowlings, becuase of the fact that they may get killed also...
like that?
RE: Writer's Lounge
Where did the power he sought for come from? Do you have an idea what I'm doing here? Ask yourself questions about the plot. See if there's any detail that would be nice to add with.
Perhaps a really important question: what is the trainer after? Does he succeed?
Where did the power he sought for come from? Do you have an idea what I'm doing here? Ask yourself questions about the plot. See if there's any detail that would be nice to add with.
Perhaps a really important question: what is the trainer after? Does he succeed?
RE: Writer's Lounge
Just offering a suggestion, it seems like you're dealing with racist undertones. Much like Lord of the Rings and Redwall.
MrGatr said:
Just offering a suggestion, it seems like you're dealing with racist undertones. Much like Lord of the Rings and Redwall.
RE: Writer's Lounge
Yeah something like that...
Ok, so I've kinda compiled the plot;
Beginning;
The Rapidash has a shadow Ponyta, and doesn't like it, so she leaves it to die in the wild, were he finds his trainer.
Middle;
The shadow Pokemon are banned, anyone caught with them, and any Pokemon that has them as a baby, or is one is immediately killed, or put in prison. The trainer and Ponyta gather up all the shadow Pokemon.
End;
They fight with the Shadows winning that battles .
Yeah something like that...
Ok, so I've kinda compiled the plot;
Beginning;
The Rapidash has a shadow Ponyta, and doesn't like it, so she leaves it to die in the wild, were he finds his trainer.
Middle;
The shadow Pokemon are banned, anyone caught with them, and any Pokemon that has them as a baby, or is one is immediately killed, or put in prison. The trainer and Ponyta gather up all the shadow Pokemon.
End;
They fight with the Shadows winning that battles .
RE: Writer's Lounge
*Shadows, the apostrophe doesn't make that word plural.
It sounds alright, but I would need to see a chapter from a story like that to give my full thoughts.
*Shadows, the apostrophe doesn't make that word plural.
It sounds alright, but I would need to see a chapter from a story like that to give my full thoughts.