RE: The Lounge
I know, I thought my story would get a few more comments seeing as the members themselves are part of it.
I know, I thought my story would get a few more comments seeing as the members themselves are part of it.
General Writing Discussion Thread | Current Topic: NaNoWriMo
- Thread starter le Roi-Soleil
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J
Juliacoolo
RE: The Lounge
Alright, so I decided to make my own beach parody for the fun of it. Kudos to any who's been around long enough to catch how its relevant to the beach, and to know who Agent 9 is. Thoughts so far?
A gentle breeze glazed the beachfront, as afternoon painted the ocean sky. Desolate and serene, only the waxing and waning of the saltwater waves could be heard. The sand brushed the ground, and the earth breathed its warmth into the atmosphere. Agent 9 sat down in her beach chair, mollified and at rest. She closed her eyes, and laid back.
The life of a criminal is far from what we think it to be. Hollywood drama, Marvel Classics, they all influence us to imagine crime the way they want us to think of it. They make Villains evil, dark, unappealing. Nothing of relevance to reality. For what is x without y? Without evil, good has no existence. Nor does life as we know it. For the human race, life is a variety of chemicals, and electric signals. Nothing more. Everything we see, hear, feel, taste, or smell, only is the way it is because our brain tells us it is. With that said, does anything really exist? The earth as we know it is only a perception of our minds.
The only way to change everything, is to change perception, and that’s exactly what Agent 9 had in mind.
While the artists of the atmosphere colored night’s vibes, Agent 9 brushed back her hair. The beauty and intimidation she held was second to none. Her perfect figure complimented the chair, and her copper locks swayed in the salty air. A small canvas stood at the foot of her chair. She glanced at it, reveling gorgeous jade eyes that sparkled in the twilight. On the canvas, a painting of the beach they inhabited stared back at her. The painting was detailed and colorful. The blues danced with the purples, the reds flushed with love, and the greens stifled the yellows with jealousy. Agent 9 smiled at her creation, and whispered into the hem of its ear.
“Your resplendence will live forever, my dear”
With a tilt of her head, her lips pressed again the top-left corner of the painting. A kiss from her lips, and the sun was swallowed by her obsidian lipstick marks. “Good night now”, she smirked. Taking out a pen, she wrote a message on the tomb.
"To our fair Verona"
Agent 9 crossed her legs in her skirt, giggled, and fell into a deep sleep.
Alright, so I decided to make my own beach parody for the fun of it. Kudos to any who's been around long enough to catch how its relevant to the beach, and to know who Agent 9 is. Thoughts so far?
A gentle breeze glazed the beachfront, as afternoon painted the ocean sky. Desolate and serene, only the waxing and waning of the saltwater waves could be heard. The sand brushed the ground, and the earth breathed its warmth into the atmosphere. Agent 9 sat down in her beach chair, mollified and at rest. She closed her eyes, and laid back.
The life of a criminal is far from what we think it to be. Hollywood drama, Marvel Classics, they all influence us to imagine crime the way they want us to think of it. They make Villains evil, dark, unappealing. Nothing of relevance to reality. For what is x without y? Without evil, good has no existence. Nor does life as we know it. For the human race, life is a variety of chemicals, and electric signals. Nothing more. Everything we see, hear, feel, taste, or smell, only is the way it is because our brain tells us it is. With that said, does anything really exist? The earth as we know it is only a perception of our minds.
The only way to change everything, is to change perception, and that’s exactly what Agent 9 had in mind.
While the artists of the atmosphere colored night’s vibes, Agent 9 brushed back her hair. The beauty and intimidation she held was second to none. Her perfect figure complimented the chair, and her copper locks swayed in the salty air. A small canvas stood at the foot of her chair. She glanced at it, reveling gorgeous jade eyes that sparkled in the twilight. On the canvas, a painting of the beach they inhabited stared back at her. The painting was detailed and colorful. The blues danced with the purples, the reds flushed with love, and the greens stifled the yellows with jealousy. Agent 9 smiled at her creation, and whispered into the hem of its ear.
“Your resplendence will live forever, my dear”
With a tilt of her head, her lips pressed again the top-left corner of the painting. A kiss from her lips, and the sun was swallowed by her obsidian lipstick marks. “Good night now”, she smirked. Taking out a pen, she wrote a message on the tomb.
"To our fair Verona"
Agent 9 crossed her legs in her skirt, giggled, and fell into a deep sleep.
RE: The Lounge
Woah...this is actually really good. Your mastery of descriptive writing, concrete detail, and show, don't tell is evident. Great job, JaySee. I didn't know you could write? xP
Woah...this is actually really good. Your mastery of descriptive writing, concrete detail, and show, don't tell is evident. Great job, JaySee. I didn't know you could write? xP
RE: The Lounge
Very good, Coolo!
Anyways, I wrote the last chapter of my story. Feel free to read it and feel content with the end.
Very good, Coolo!
Anyways, I wrote the last chapter of my story. Feel free to read it and feel content with the end.
I
Incinermyn
RE: The Lounge
Yeah, looks good, Juliacoolo!
Just a reminder, but the rules here in the Writer's Corner have been revised a little. So please read through them if you haven't already.
Yeah, looks good, Juliacoolo!
Just a reminder, but the rules here in the Writer's Corner have been revised a little. So please read through them if you haven't already.
RE: The Lounge
I was going to do a PMD fanfic but i wasn't too sure. I'm in sixth grade but my English teacher ssays im a gifted writer, i might post some of it if anyone wants, but I don't think i could handle some of the criticism. (hopefully I spelled that right) I'm somewhat sensitive and impulsive. But i'll give it a try if you want.
I was going to do a PMD fanfic but i wasn't too sure. I'm in sixth grade but my English teacher ssays im a gifted writer, i might post some of it if anyone wants, but I don't think i could handle some of the criticism. (hopefully I spelled that right) I'm somewhat sensitive and impulsive. But i'll give it a try if you want.
RE: The Lounge
Well, if you're going to try, make sure to capitalize your I's.
Ex. - I am going to the bathroom.
And try Spell Checker if you're worried about spelling.
But hey, I'd love to see some work from you sometime. I LOVE PMD FanFics.
I'm also wondering... how many Fallout players do we have here? I've got a great old story I'd love to revisit, and it's Fallout-related. I need to know how many played the game and will understand what I'm talking about. Thanks.
Well, if you're going to try, make sure to capitalize your I's.
Ex. - I am going to the bathroom.
And try Spell Checker if you're worried about spelling.
But hey, I'd love to see some work from you sometime. I LOVE PMD FanFics.
I'm also wondering... how many Fallout players do we have here? I've got a great old story I'd love to revisit, and it's Fallout-related. I need to know how many played the game and will understand what I'm talking about.
Thanks.
I
Incinermyn
RE: The Lounge
@AnimeUSA: I'm twenty-four and I'm still a nervous wreck when it comes to posting my fiction online. If you want to know how sensitive I am/was, just peek at the conversations I had with Zy in my Biohazard story (link should still be in my sig).
Aside from Zenith and (maybe) DNA, I don't think you'll find too many harsh critics here. And the only time I'll get mean is if you don't listen to whatever advice is given to you and start getting cocky towards people. Otherwise, just make sure things follow the standards set up in the rules and you should be fine.
@AnimeUSA: I'm twenty-four and I'm still a nervous wreck when it comes to posting my fiction online. If you want to know how sensitive I am/was, just peek at the conversations I had with Zy in my Biohazard story (link should still be in my sig).
Aside from Zenith and (maybe) DNA, I don't think you'll find too many harsh critics here. And the only time I'll get mean is if you don't listen to whatever advice is given to you and start getting cocky towards people. Otherwise, just make sure things follow the standards set up in the rules and you should be fine.
RE: The Lounge
Thanks you guys. It's just that harsh critics scare me. I'll live though. Thank you and I'll try and post some later.
(I capitalized my Is)
Thanks you guys. It's just that harsh critics scare me. I'll live though. Thank you and I'll try and post some later.
(I capitalized my Is)
I
Incinermyn
RE: The Lounge
Every writing forum you'll find online has some sort of hotshots or uber critics that like to knock people down a notch. Just in comparison, Pokebeach isn't as bad for that as oh, say...Serebii or Pokecommunity, which are a lot bigger than this place too. In other words: you're relatively safe here (so long as you follow the rules, which is all I ask).
Every writing forum you'll find online has some sort of hotshots or uber critics that like to knock people down a notch. Just in comparison, Pokebeach isn't as bad for that as oh, say...Serebii or Pokecommunity, which are a lot bigger than this place too. In other words: you're relatively safe here (so long as you follow the rules, which is all I ask).
RE: The Lounge
Okay, I guess it's worth a try. It's called White Diamond. I might post it later.
EDIT: I posted it!
Okay, I guess it's worth a try. It's called White Diamond. I might post it later.
EDIT: I posted it!
RE: The Lounge
It's on, AUSA. (Makes me think of Australia...) I think writing here's a good idea. There seem to be more writers here than the Gym. Good luck with the story.
@Zenith: You didn't seem too harsh while reviewing mine. Most of the review was comical mischief replies. Though, the criticisms were very useful. Thanks.
Writing my next chapter now, and good luck to all authors out there, ~AoH
It's on, AUSA. (Makes me think of Australia...) I think writing here's a good idea. There seem to be more writers here than the Gym. Good luck with the story.
@Zenith: You didn't seem too harsh while reviewing mine. Most of the review was comical mischief replies. Though, the criticisms were very useful. Thanks.
Writing my next chapter now, and good luck to all authors out there, ~AoH
RE: The Lounge
Just to clarify.
Zenith = Comical mischief.
Okay, go back to your conversation.
Just to clarify.
Zenith = Comical mischief.
Okay, go back to your conversation.
RE: The Lounge
Thank you all. Lol, Austrailia. That's what I thought at first too!
Thank you all. Lol, Austrailia. That's what I thought at first too!
I
Incinermyn
RE: The Lounge
Zenith=Comical mischief? When the heck was this? *gets bonked on the head for bad joking* (Yeah, that's about the worst you'll ever get from me...bad jokes...)
Anyways, I started work on Biohazard again after skimming through White Diamond. Sadly, with Zy gone and the old thread locked, I'm not sure if I really want to repost it since the setting might not appeal to a lot of people since I'm trying to redo it as more of a furry fic than actual PMD (like I'd been struggling to for a while now). On the off chance, though, anybody have anything against a post-human apocalypse story in which the main character is a skunk tribesgirl who commanded a renegade Pokemon rescue team that got killed off, and then soon roped into a quest that eventually led to the discovery of the secret of how humans got killed off in the PMD world?
Zenith=Comical mischief? When the heck was this? *gets bonked on the head for bad joking* (Yeah, that's about the worst you'll ever get from me...bad jokes...)
Anyways, I started work on Biohazard again after skimming through White Diamond. Sadly, with Zy gone and the old thread locked, I'm not sure if I really want to repost it since the setting might not appeal to a lot of people since I'm trying to redo it as more of a furry fic than actual PMD (like I'd been struggling to for a while now). On the off chance, though, anybody have anything against a post-human apocalypse story in which the main character is a skunk tribesgirl who commanded a renegade Pokemon rescue team that got killed off, and then soon roped into a quest that eventually led to the discovery of the secret of how humans got killed off in the PMD world?
RE: The Lounge
I don't know about that, Zenith. Do you remember when CH and Zyflair kept passing eachother hard-core critics on eachothers stories? That was insane.
Anyways, I'm having trouble incorperating humor into a story that has to be serious every once in a while. Any suggestions?
I don't know about that, Zenith. Do you remember when CH and Zyflair kept passing eachother hard-core critics on eachothers stories? That was insane.
Anyways, I'm having trouble incorperating humor into a story that has to be serious every once in a while. Any suggestions?
RE: The Lounge
@Apollo
I sort of skimmed through Biohazard, thinking that it was really great, though the story was a little dark. Also, i like your idea for a story, is sounds very intriguing...
By the by, i'm glad my own ametur story inspired a moderator (woah) to continue a story of his own. I know i'm being a little dramatic, but i take this seriously. Maybe a little too seroiusly. (i think I spelled some words wrong in there...)
@Aggs
It has to do with the characters. Try to incorperate a character with some charm and good puns and jokes to add some humor to a serious story. That's the best advice I could give you.
@Apollo
I sort of skimmed through Biohazard, thinking that it was really great, though the story was a little dark. Also, i like your idea for a story, is sounds very intriguing...
By the by, i'm glad my own ametur story inspired a moderator (woah) to continue a story of his own. I know i'm being a little dramatic, but i take this seriously. Maybe a little too seroiusly. (i think I spelled some words wrong in there...)
@Aggs
It has to do with the characters. Try to incorperate a character with some charm and good puns and jokes to add some humor to a serious story. That's the best advice I could give you.
I
Incinermyn
RE: The Lounge
@AnimeUSA: Thanks. I've actually be working on Biohazard and its sibling Feral Twilight off and on for the past three to four years. My focus is on darker fiction since I'm usually into a lot of gothic and religious things (though I guess that's not so evident with things like my current avatar/user title combo, but that's really something Zyflair kind of started me on when he was still here...which in retrospect was my fault for showing interest in furry fandom). Also, I usually try and draw inspiration from others' work whenever I can, especially when it's related to something I'm working on.
@AnimeUSA: Thanks. I've actually be working on Biohazard and its sibling Feral Twilight off and on for the past three to four years. My focus is on darker fiction since I'm usually into a lot of gothic and religious things (though I guess that's not so evident with things like my current avatar/user title combo
RE: The Lounge
I'll just settle for poetry, I think. I aim to get my one titled "In the Deep of Winter" up by tomorrow, but I have a Valentine's Disco to go to.
I am also writing something like 'The Silmarrillion', but it's just dull, like a history textbook.
I'll just settle for poetry, I think. I aim to get my one titled "In the Deep of Winter" up by tomorrow, but I have a Valentine's Disco to go to.
I am also writing something like 'The Silmarrillion', but it's just dull, like a history textbook.