Writing "To Live in Peace, You Must Prepare for War" Prologue up!

ShayminSky

I see what you did there...
Member
ShayminSky said:
Materia: Yellow-Command
Red-Summon
Blue-Support
Green-Magic
Purple-Independent
Black-Meteor
White-Holy

Summons: Chocobo - "Chocobo Kick"
Dragon (Mist) - "Radiant Breath"
Titan - "Gaia's Wrath"
Shiva - "Diamond Dust"
Ramuh (Indra) - "Judgment Bolt"
Ifrit (Jinn) - "Hellfire"
Asura - "Asura's Boon"
Leviathan (Leviatan) - "Tidal Wave"
Odin - "Zantetsuken"
Sylph - "Whispering Wind"
Bahamut - "Megaflare"
Goblin (Imp) - "Goblin Punch"
Bomb - "Responsible Bomb Use"
Mindflayer (Mage) - "Mind Blast"
Cockatrice - "Petrifying Beak" (Note: This summon was dummied out of the US Super NES release).
Whyt (FFIV DS only)
Kjata - "Tetra-Disaster"
Alexander - "Judgement"
Neo Bahamut - "Giga Flare"
Phoenix - "Phoenix Flame"
Hades - "Black Cauldron"
Typhoon - "Disintegration"
Bahamut ZERO - "Tera Flare"
Fenrir & Titan - "Terrestrial Rage" and "Millennial Decay"


(Author's note: I know this is VERY similar to the Final Fantasy series, and I will try to be original, feel free to critique me. And with the anime references(hair color...etc), I didn't want to do it because I had no idea how you would react, so please comment on that too. Also, the information above is something I am planning, it may or may not happen. I mean Materia and all those summons. That is all for now. I will add more of these at the end of each chapters, letting you know my thoughts, making it so that this story is more interactive instead of being a lone work. It still is in one sense, but I hope you know what I mean. Alright, I've gone on long enough, let's start the story!)

"To Live in Peace, You Must Prepare for War."
Prologue
Wedding bells chimed. People and beasts alike cheered for the happy couple. The priest smiled as the couple kissed, the sun forming a glare in his glasses. The couple is(*1) Sarah and Michael Johnson. Michael and Sarah have been my best friends since childhood, and we've been ever since. Some said it was too early for their marriage though, at age 23. The advice came from village elders and relatives. I believe they knew that when they got engaged a year and a half ago; it was a risk they were willing to take. I wish I had a risk to take though, but the puzzle piece never seems to fit like theirs did. There were plenty of girls out there, but the ones I dated always cheated, or we kept arguing over silly things. I guess that those silly things matter, sooner, or later. I stared off into space, going over this in my mind, while clapping.
“Scott. Hey, Scott, you alright?”
Michael nudged me, slightly alarmed.
“Uh, yeah. I'm fine...”
“Alright that's good. You know I can't have my best friend not have a great time at my wedding, right?”
He had a large grin on his face, then patted me on the back. A slow song started to play, and almost instantaneously Sarah giddily clapped, giggling.
“Michael! It's our song!”
Michael smiled, waved, and before leaving to have his first dance with his wife, he whispered in my ear:
“I heard the bride's maid is single. Go for it.”
Although it sounded weird, I suppose it was true. She was at the altar with a pink flower in her hair, seemingly enjoying the happy couples dancing, and the children playing. I took a deep breath and walked over to her.
“Hey, I'm Scott, what's your name?”
She turned to look at me, her green eyes sparkling, matching her natural green hair.
“Hi, I'm Rachel. Pleasure to meet you, Scott.”
“Would you like to dance?”
I held my hand out, nervous.
She smiled.
“Sure.”
I led her onto the dance floor and we danced slowly, my hands on her hips and hers on my shoulders. The distance between us was close, not like a middle schooler's first dance. She smiled.
“So, Rachel, what do you do for a living?”
“I am a writer, or trying to be one. I own a floral shop not too far from here. How about you?”
“Really? That's nice. I am working on becoming an artist. I work at an energy plant(*2) for SPECOPS nearby.”
“Why thank you! And that's cool!”
“Thanks. Hey, are you doing anything tonight?”
She lightly blushed and smiled again.
“No, but I can be.”
She winked, causing me to blush.
“Do you want to go out for dinner later?”
“Sure, that'd be great.”
The song faded away, and we headed over to the punch table, where we exchanged phone numbers.
“Okay, I'll see you later~”
She then walked to talk to Sarah for a bit before leaving.
“How did it go?”
I turned around to see Michael, grinning.
“Great. We're going out for dinner tonight.”
“That's a start. Well, good luck. Hey, you gonna stay for a little?”
“Why wouldn't I?”
“Heh, come with me.”
Michael led me over to Sarah, who's face brightened up as she ran over to hug me.
“Michael! How did you like the wedding?”
“It was great, I'm happy for you two.”
“Thank you! How did your dance with Rachel go?”
“Good, we're going out for dinner later tonight. Where did she go anyways?”
“Oh, she said she had to take care of some thing. She'll be back.”
“Mkay.”
~Later that Day~
I rang the doorbell, dressed in a tux, my brown hair combed back. The door opened, Rachel greeted me.
“Hey, Scott, come in!”
“Hey, Rachel. Thanks.
I stepped into the house, was led by Rachel onto the deck.
“You have a nice house.”
“Thank you! I inherited it from my grandmother, God bless her soul...”
“Oh, I'm so sorry....”
“Don't be, she passed of natural causes.”
“Oh...”
Michael turned around and smiled, and waved.
“Hey, Scott.”
“Hey Mike, hey Sarah.”
Sarah turned around.
“Hey, Michael, you should see this comet! It's beautiful!”
Sarah beckoned me over, and I followed.
“Wow, you are right!”
The comet was a bright orange, and a rainbow of colors followed it, forming a beautiful aurora. As beautiful as it was, something was off. As soon as I noticed it, I gasped.
“The plant!”
The plant was on fire, smoke clogged the air, preventing view of the comet's aurora.
“I'm terribly sorry Rachel, I must go!”
“Wait! Take me with you!”
Rachel followed me out the door, followed by Sarah and Michael.
“It's dangerous! We're coming too!”
I opened both doors on the passenger side of my car, allowing them to get in, then dashed for the driver's side, and opened the door. I fumbled for the keys to my car, and I inserted them into the slot. I turned it on and pulled off torwards the burning plant.
~END of Prolouge~

(Author's note: What do you guys think? I thought the prolouge was the legnth of a chapter, but I wanted to end it ASAP and get it up, so here it is! I already have in my mind what is going to happen next, so the Chapter 1 preview should follow this little note here. Please critique!
*1-I don't know how to use that tense, past, or present, so I put “is”. Is that correct?
*2-The energy is supposedly natural, That's what Scott was taught, anyways...Heh.)

Chapter 1 Preview:
Phase 1: Failure

The flames of the tower burning, soldiers escape from the building, angered, apparently not finding what they wanted. Whatever it was, it knew they were coming. Scott and co. arrive at the scene, finding the last batch of straggler soldiers, and engage in battle. They then break off and find the “case” of what they were looking for...
 
I like it so far~
...But...

There are some boo-boos to deal with.

though, at age 23.

Using numbers in a story doesn't fit well, unless it is with a name, so instead of 23, it could be twenty-three.

~Later that Day~
Instead of doing this, you could possibly just make a space or two between the paragraphs. Then, with a little bit of clues following the chapter, it would give the reader an idea that the character has moved on to a different scene.

We could have this.
Wedding bells chimed. People and beasts alike cheered for the happy couple. The priest smiled as the couple kissed, the sun forming a glare in his glasses.

The couple was Sarah and Michael Johnson. Michael and Sarah have been my best friends since childhood, and we've been ever since. Some said it was too early for their marriage though, at age twenty-three. The advice came from village elders and relatives.

I believe they knew that when they got engaged a year and a half ago; it was a risk they were willing to take. I wish I had a risk to take though, but the puzzle piece never seems to fit like theirs did. There were plenty of girls out there, but the ones I dated always cheated, or we kept arguing over silly things. I guess that those silly things matter, sooner, or later.

I stared off into space, going over this in my mind, while clapping.

“Scott. Hey, Scott, you alright?”
Michael nudged me, slightly alarmed.

“Uh, yeah. I'm fine...”

Or this.
Wedding bells chimed. People and beasts alike cheered for the happy couple. The priest smiled as the couple kissed, the sun forming a glare in his glasses. The couple is(*1) Sarah and Michael Johnson. Michael and Sarah have been my best friends since childhood, and we've been ever since. Some said it was too early for their marriage though, at age 23. The advice came from village elders and relatives. I believe they knew that when they got engaged a year and a half ago; it was a risk they were willing to take. I wish I had a risk to take though, but the puzzle piece never seems to fit like theirs did. There were plenty of girls out there, but the ones I dated always cheated, or we kept arguing over silly things. I guess that those silly things matter, sooner, or later. I stared off into space, going over this in my mind, while clapping.
“Scott. Hey, Scott, you alright?”
Michael nudged me, slightly alarmed.
“Uh, yeah. I'm fine...”

Great so far!
 
Back
Top