Wow, "Uncle" Brock.... lol, but still getting good.
Writing The Mystery of the Legendaries
- Thread starter PokemonChampion
- Start date
Chapter 7 is up! Sorry to anybody who was looking forward to it yesterday. I wasn't able to type it up yesterday, but I, of course, was able to today.
Chapter 7: The Legendary Beasts Appear
The area grew quiet as Ashley shouted those fated words. The people looked across the Underground at the tunnel worrisomely, waiting with bated breath for the Beasts to arrive. Suddenly, a frosty, chilled wind blew into the room from the tunnel, causing everyone to shiver. Then, a blue dog-like Pokemon with what looked like a purple cloud on his back jumped out of the tunnel and landed gracefully on the ground.
“S-Suicune!” Ashley shouted. He looked straight at Ashley with a face that could send the toughest opponents running away like scared little Ratatta.
She froze in place with a look of terror on her face.
Where are the other two? Brock thought to himself.
No sooner than he said that did he hear a growl from behind him. He slowly turned around and caught his breath as he saw a brown-coated lion-like Pokemon with a gray cloudlike cape flowing out behind him.
“Entei.” Entei’s ears perked up at that, and he gave a smug look at Brock.
“Oh, come on, people, you’re seriously gonna let these two weaklings scare you? I could take both of you down in a matter of minutes,” Shane stupidly said. A fork of lightning came down from above and hit him, causing him to fall over and shake violently.
Everyone looked up at the tunnel’s entrance and started shaking themselves at the sight of the final Beast. A fierce-looking tiger-like Pokemon with long, sharp fangs sticking out of his mouth and a majestic, cloudlike light-purple cape flowing out over his back was standing in the entrance.
“Raikou!” Ashley exclaimed fearfully.
He jumped down and joined Suicune as Entei joined them. They roared for the second time, only louder this time. This, surprisingly, seemed to snap Brock, Ashley, and Shane out of their fear, and they each sent out a Pokemon.
“C’mon, Turtwig, we can do this!” Ashley confidently said, and Turtwig looked at her with fear in his eyes, but stepped forward in a battle stance.
“Go, Ludicolo!” Brock threw a Poke Ball into the air, and out popped a plump green-and-yellow Pokemon with a sombrero-like lily pad on his head. He started dancing immediately as his feet touched the ground.
“R-ready to beat these three weaklings, Rampardos?” Shane weakly said as he tried to get up, but stumbled and fell down again. Ashley ran over and tried to help him get up, but he adamantly refused.
“I don’t need help from a girl!” He retorted, and finally succeeded in getting up, albeit still shaking.
Ashley shook her head and quickly looked around and found that everyone had vanished; however, she had no time to figure out where they were, as Brock and Shane already started to fight Suicune and Entei. Raikou looked at her fiercely and fired a bolt of electricity at Turtwig. It made a direct hit, but Turtwig was surprisingly able to keep its ground.
“Turtwig’s not gonna let an Electric-type attack faze him! Turtwig, Energy Ball at Raikou!” Turtwig started forming a green ball of energy in his mouth, then opened it and fired it at Raikou. It rammed into his head, and he seemed fazed for a few brief seconds, but he quickly shook it off and growled a deep growl. He dashed to Turtwig and bit down on his shell with his sharp fangs. Turtwig cried out in pain.
“No, Turtwig! Use Mega Drain!” The leaves on Turtwig’s twig started to glow a bright green and two “arms” of energy shot out and implanted themselves on Raikou’s body. They started to glow brighter as Raikou’s life force was slowly sucked out of him. He loosened his grip on Turtwig, and Turtwig jumped out.
“All right, Turtwig! Now, use Razor Leaf!” Turtwig reared his head back and shot it forward, leaves flying toward Raikou as fast as lightning. They made direct contact, but it only seemed to make him angrier. He roared as loud as he could, and suddenly the blackest of thunderclouds appeared at the ceiling of the Underground. A huge lightning bolt shot out of the epicenter of the cloud, and it hit Turtwig with such force that he flew back and crashed into Ashley.
“Turtwig! Are you OK?”
He looked at her with hurt eyes, and then started crying out, seemingly in pain. But this was different. He was glowing!
“Turtwig, what’s going on? What’s happening?” Ashley asked.
“Put him down! He’s evolving!” Brock shouted over to her.
“Evolving?!”
She watched as Turtwig’s body started to grow larger, his shell and legs growing bigger. His twig disappeared, only to have small shrubs appear on his back.
“Grotle!” It said after the process finished.
“A Grotle? Awesome! OK, Grotle, use Energy Ball!” Grotle flung another green ball at Raikou, only to have him jump out of the way.
“Now, Grotle! Grass Knot!” Just as Raikou touched the ground, four grass roots shot out of the ground and tied his legs to the ground. He was unable to move.
“Grotle! Finish it off! Sunny Day, then SolarBeam!” Grotle looked up and shouted his name triumphantly. The black thundercloud that had been lingering at the ceiling gave way to beams of light that looked like they were snatched from the sun itself. At once, the shrubs on his back started to glow a bright white, and he shot out a powerful white beam of light out of his mouth. Raikou was released from the grip of the roots by the force of the attack, but he proceeded to fly back and hit the wall. He slumped down in defeat.
“Yeah, Grotle, we did it!” She ran up to Grotle and hugged him, but her victory was short-lived as she realized that the other two Beasts were here, as well. She looked around and was shocked to find them lying on the ground in defeat too. She turned to look behind her and saw Brock and Shane watching her.
“You two already beat them?”
“I told you I could beat them quickly,” Shane proudly stated.
“Wow, Ashley that was some battle! You battled like a pro out there, though it’s no surprise since you have two great Pokemon trainers’ genes running through you,” Brock declared. “How long have you been using Turtwig-I mean-Grotle?”
“This was his second battle, after him and Rampardos fought.”
“His second?!” he said, shocked. “And he beat a legendary and evolved?! You are so much stronger than I thought.”
“Thanks. Now, we three need to get to Mt. Coronet and soon! There’s no telling when more will strike.”
“Wait. Did you say three? I don’t remember you beating me in a Pokemon battle,” Shane said.
“Would you rather I beat you in a Pokemon battle or beat you up?” She said with so much intimidation in her voice that she was actually able to shut him up.
“Now. We need to figure out a plan if we want to get to the summit alive,” Ashley said.
As Brock, Shane, and she started to think up a plan, The Legendary Beasts slipped out unnoticed.
“You incompetent fools! How could you let her beat you?” The woman said as she slammed her fist into the desk.
They only whined in reply as they couldn’t actually speak at all. It didn’t matter, though, as the woman appeared to understand what they said.
“They were strong? You fought three people?” Her anger turned to worry as she contemplated this. “Oh, no. She’s bringing along two other people. Well, we can’t have that. You are dismissed.” They weakly limped away.
“No, we can’t have that. . .” she mumbled to herself.
Chapter 7: The Legendary Beasts Appear
The area grew quiet as Ashley shouted those fated words. The people looked across the Underground at the tunnel worrisomely, waiting with bated breath for the Beasts to arrive. Suddenly, a frosty, chilled wind blew into the room from the tunnel, causing everyone to shiver. Then, a blue dog-like Pokemon with what looked like a purple cloud on his back jumped out of the tunnel and landed gracefully on the ground.
“S-Suicune!” Ashley shouted. He looked straight at Ashley with a face that could send the toughest opponents running away like scared little Ratatta.
She froze in place with a look of terror on her face.
Where are the other two? Brock thought to himself.
No sooner than he said that did he hear a growl from behind him. He slowly turned around and caught his breath as he saw a brown-coated lion-like Pokemon with a gray cloudlike cape flowing out behind him.
“Entei.” Entei’s ears perked up at that, and he gave a smug look at Brock.
“Oh, come on, people, you’re seriously gonna let these two weaklings scare you? I could take both of you down in a matter of minutes,” Shane stupidly said. A fork of lightning came down from above and hit him, causing him to fall over and shake violently.
Everyone looked up at the tunnel’s entrance and started shaking themselves at the sight of the final Beast. A fierce-looking tiger-like Pokemon with long, sharp fangs sticking out of his mouth and a majestic, cloudlike light-purple cape flowing out over his back was standing in the entrance.
“Raikou!” Ashley exclaimed fearfully.
He jumped down and joined Suicune as Entei joined them. They roared for the second time, only louder this time. This, surprisingly, seemed to snap Brock, Ashley, and Shane out of their fear, and they each sent out a Pokemon.
“C’mon, Turtwig, we can do this!” Ashley confidently said, and Turtwig looked at her with fear in his eyes, but stepped forward in a battle stance.
“Go, Ludicolo!” Brock threw a Poke Ball into the air, and out popped a plump green-and-yellow Pokemon with a sombrero-like lily pad on his head. He started dancing immediately as his feet touched the ground.
“R-ready to beat these three weaklings, Rampardos?” Shane weakly said as he tried to get up, but stumbled and fell down again. Ashley ran over and tried to help him get up, but he adamantly refused.
“I don’t need help from a girl!” He retorted, and finally succeeded in getting up, albeit still shaking.
Ashley shook her head and quickly looked around and found that everyone had vanished; however, she had no time to figure out where they were, as Brock and Shane already started to fight Suicune and Entei. Raikou looked at her fiercely and fired a bolt of electricity at Turtwig. It made a direct hit, but Turtwig was surprisingly able to keep its ground.
“Turtwig’s not gonna let an Electric-type attack faze him! Turtwig, Energy Ball at Raikou!” Turtwig started forming a green ball of energy in his mouth, then opened it and fired it at Raikou. It rammed into his head, and he seemed fazed for a few brief seconds, but he quickly shook it off and growled a deep growl. He dashed to Turtwig and bit down on his shell with his sharp fangs. Turtwig cried out in pain.
“No, Turtwig! Use Mega Drain!” The leaves on Turtwig’s twig started to glow a bright green and two “arms” of energy shot out and implanted themselves on Raikou’s body. They started to glow brighter as Raikou’s life force was slowly sucked out of him. He loosened his grip on Turtwig, and Turtwig jumped out.
“All right, Turtwig! Now, use Razor Leaf!” Turtwig reared his head back and shot it forward, leaves flying toward Raikou as fast as lightning. They made direct contact, but it only seemed to make him angrier. He roared as loud as he could, and suddenly the blackest of thunderclouds appeared at the ceiling of the Underground. A huge lightning bolt shot out of the epicenter of the cloud, and it hit Turtwig with such force that he flew back and crashed into Ashley.
“Turtwig! Are you OK?”
He looked at her with hurt eyes, and then started crying out, seemingly in pain. But this was different. He was glowing!
“Turtwig, what’s going on? What’s happening?” Ashley asked.
“Put him down! He’s evolving!” Brock shouted over to her.
“Evolving?!”
She watched as Turtwig’s body started to grow larger, his shell and legs growing bigger. His twig disappeared, only to have small shrubs appear on his back.
“Grotle!” It said after the process finished.
“A Grotle? Awesome! OK, Grotle, use Energy Ball!” Grotle flung another green ball at Raikou, only to have him jump out of the way.
“Now, Grotle! Grass Knot!” Just as Raikou touched the ground, four grass roots shot out of the ground and tied his legs to the ground. He was unable to move.
“Grotle! Finish it off! Sunny Day, then SolarBeam!” Grotle looked up and shouted his name triumphantly. The black thundercloud that had been lingering at the ceiling gave way to beams of light that looked like they were snatched from the sun itself. At once, the shrubs on his back started to glow a bright white, and he shot out a powerful white beam of light out of his mouth. Raikou was released from the grip of the roots by the force of the attack, but he proceeded to fly back and hit the wall. He slumped down in defeat.
“Yeah, Grotle, we did it!” She ran up to Grotle and hugged him, but her victory was short-lived as she realized that the other two Beasts were here, as well. She looked around and was shocked to find them lying on the ground in defeat too. She turned to look behind her and saw Brock and Shane watching her.
“You two already beat them?”
“I told you I could beat them quickly,” Shane proudly stated.
“Wow, Ashley that was some battle! You battled like a pro out there, though it’s no surprise since you have two great Pokemon trainers’ genes running through you,” Brock declared. “How long have you been using Turtwig-I mean-Grotle?”
“This was his second battle, after him and Rampardos fought.”
“His second?!” he said, shocked. “And he beat a legendary and evolved?! You are so much stronger than I thought.”
“Thanks. Now, we three need to get to Mt. Coronet and soon! There’s no telling when more will strike.”
“Wait. Did you say three? I don’t remember you beating me in a Pokemon battle,” Shane said.
“Would you rather I beat you in a Pokemon battle or beat you up?” She said with so much intimidation in her voice that she was actually able to shut him up.
“Now. We need to figure out a plan if we want to get to the summit alive,” Ashley said.
As Brock, Shane, and she started to think up a plan, The Legendary Beasts slipped out unnoticed.
* * *
“You incompetent fools! How could you let her beat you?” The woman said as she slammed her fist into the desk.
They only whined in reply as they couldn’t actually speak at all. It didn’t matter, though, as the woman appeared to understand what they said.
“They were strong? You fought three people?” Her anger turned to worry as she contemplated this. “Oh, no. She’s bringing along two other people. Well, we can’t have that. You are dismissed.” They weakly limped away.
“No, we can’t have that. . .” she mumbled to herself.
Still good, that was just funny though that everyone practically stopped when turtwig evolved.
That always happens in the anime. *shrugs*
Oh, and another prediction! Shane is Paul's son.
That chapter was much better than the others. Definitely less cheesy than the others...
Yep, my story is definitely dripping with cheese.
But, yeah, I thought that I put more effort into this chapter than the others.
But, yeah, I thought that I put more effort into this chapter than the others.
Where what others went?
Don't lose self-confidence. Just because people don't reply as much, doesn't mean that they don't enjoy it. You're a great writer. Don't ever deny that.
Good work, keep it up.
Good work, keep it up.
@ aggiegwyn:
Don't lose self-confidence? To what post that I made are you referring? If it was the one above you, I was just asking what Dark Sonic J meant when he said "and wondered where the others went."
But anyway, thanks for the nice compliment!
Oh, and to everyone out there, I'm not exactly sure when I'm going to make my next chapter because this weekend my oldest brother is visiting from Florida with his one-year old son and girlfriend. (That's right. I'm an uncle!) So, I might not be able to get the chapters written just yet. . . . But I have a week off from school next week, so you'll probably see a lot more chapters then.
Don't lose self-confidence? To what post that I made are you referring? If it was the one above you, I was just asking what Dark Sonic J meant when he said "and wondered where the others went."
But anyway, thanks for the nice compliment!
Oh, and to everyone out there, I'm not exactly sure when I'm going to make my next chapter because this weekend my oldest brother is visiting from Florida with his one-year old son and girlfriend. (That's right. I'm an uncle!) So, I might not be able to get the chapters written just yet. . . . But I have a week off from school next week, so you'll probably see a lot more chapters then.
That's strange... So am I! I loved that last chapter. It was good, but there are the occasional slips in grammar and spelling... It's still good.
Off topic: I am an uncle too, I mean, with my 24 year old brother, who has two children.
Off topic: I am an uncle too, I mean, with my 24 year old brother, who has two children.
No matter what anyone says I find this story very creative
Chapter eight is up! I'm sorry it took so long.
Chapter 8: Ascent Up Mt. Coronet
Ashley loudly sighed as she finally reached the top of the steep, rocky slope that she, along with Brock and Shane, had been climbing for the past twenty minutes.
She looked ahead to see a dark open mouth carved into the side of the mountain. A sudden chill shot down her spine, despite the warm weather outside.
“Now what?” Shane asked.
“Now, we go in,” Ashley stated; however, minutes passed, and no one even stepped forward. Ashley, Brock, and Shane looked at each other uneasily, waiting for one of them to make a move.
“Oh, this is ridiculous!” Brock is the first one to step forward, angrily looking at the other two.
“Now, are we going in, or aren’t we?” He disappeared into the dark abyss, Ashley and Shane staring at the entrance dumbfounded. Minutes later, he reappeared with an embarrassed look on his face.
“Um, anybody have a light?”
Ashley, Shane, and Brock walked side-by-side, their footsteps echoing in the dark crevices and corners that make up the cave. Minuscule droplets of water splashed onto them from above, and the bright flame from Charizard’s tail caused shadows to dance and flicker all along the walls of the dank, musty cavern.
“This is strange. We’re not seeing-or hearing-any Pokémon,” Brock commented.
“They’re probably scared,” Ashley mumbled.
“Scared? Of whom?” Brock asked.
Ashley wasn’t able to answer, however, as large jagged rocks came flying out of the darkness ahead and flew into Charizard. He flew back and hit Ashley, Brock, and Shane, causing all of them to fall onto the hard cave floor. More rocks flew from the darkness and connected with their heads, causing their heads to fall back and hit the floor.
“Shane, Brock, are you o. . .” Ashley tried to spurt out, but she, along with everyone else, quickly lost consciousness.
Out of the darkness stepped what appeared to be an immense rock with long connected rocks to make up his arms and legs and seven red dots that made up his face. He waddled over to the four unconscious beings lying on the cave floor and picked up Shane and Brock. He then fled to the path up to the summit of Mt. Coronet, where his masters were.
“Brock! Brock, wake up!”
Brock woke up to find Shane looking at him with fear in his eyes, something that Brock had never seen in Shane before.
“Wh-where are we?” he asked.
“I-I don’t know! I just woke up minutes ago to find you lying there unconscious. Look—” He lifted up his shirt to reveal his belt, with what appeared to be holders that looked as if Poke Balls were supposed to be placed in them; however, they were all empty. “My Pokemon are gone! Now how are we going to get out of this--this prison cell?”
“Prison cell?” Brock finally looked at his surroundings clearly and found that all around him were four large concrete walls, all leading up to a flat gray ceiling. There were no windows or doors anywhere except a large steel door placed in front of them. Brock ran up to the door and tried to open it.
“It’s no use. It’s locked,” Shane solemnly stated.
“Then, we’re trapped!” Brock fearfully stated.
“Right you are,” a mysterious voice said.
“Huh? Who’s there?” Shane asked.
“Look above you,” the voice said. Brock and Shane looked to the ceiling to find a small intercom speaker hanging in one of the corners of the room.
“What are we doing here? Who are you? What have you done with Ashley?” Brock angrily asked.
“In due time, all questions will be answered; but for now, just sit back, relax, and wait.” With that, the conversation was over.
“Wait! Answer my questions, darn you!” Brock angrily shouted.
“It’s no use, Brock. They’re not going to say anything to us,” Shane proclaimed.
Puzzled, Brock looked over at Shane. “Since when did you get so nice? What about the rude, snide comments that I’m so use to hearing from you?”
“Ah, being trapped must have affected my brain. I’m sure I’ll get over it.”
Brock looked at him strangely, then sighed and sat down on the rough floor.
I hope Ashley’s okay, he thought to himself. They had better not have done anything to her. Strange, though. I could have sworn that I heard that voice before.
* * *
Charizard woke to find that Brock and Shane were gone; Ashley, however, was still lying on the cave floor, unconscious. He limped over to her and licked her face, hoping that it would wake her up.
“Hmm?” Ashley moaned and slowly opened her eyes, then gripped her head in pain.
“Ow.” She sat up and saw Charizard staring at her with a look of worry on his face.
“It’s okay, Charizard. I’m fine.”
She looked around her, thinking that she would see Brock and Shane lying next to her; however, they were both gone!
“Brock! Shane! Where are you?” Her cries echoed deeper into cave, but no one answered.
“Brock! Shane!” She yelled louder, hoping that someone would answer back; however, she was alone. She fell to the floor in defeat and started to cry; Charizard went over to comfort her, and she gripped him fearfully.
“Oh, Charizard! We’re all alone! Now what am I going to do? I don’t know if I can make it without Brock and Shane!” Suddenly, five bright flashes of light lit up the otherwise dark cavern, and all of her Pokemon appeared. Ashley looked up with surprise.
“What are you guys doing out?” They all stepped forward and said their names triumphantly, with looks of confidence on their vibrant faces. Ashley stopped crying and looked them with awe in her eyes.
“OK! I get it. With you guys by my side, I’m sure that I’ll be fine! C’mon, guys, let’s go!” She, along with her six Pokemon, started to trudge up the cave path.
I don’t know what lies ahead in this place, but I’m sure that I’ll be fine as long as I have all of you to protect me.
Chapter 8: Ascent Up Mt. Coronet
Ashley loudly sighed as she finally reached the top of the steep, rocky slope that she, along with Brock and Shane, had been climbing for the past twenty minutes.
She looked ahead to see a dark open mouth carved into the side of the mountain. A sudden chill shot down her spine, despite the warm weather outside.
“Now what?” Shane asked.
“Now, we go in,” Ashley stated; however, minutes passed, and no one even stepped forward. Ashley, Brock, and Shane looked at each other uneasily, waiting for one of them to make a move.
“Oh, this is ridiculous!” Brock is the first one to step forward, angrily looking at the other two.
“Now, are we going in, or aren’t we?” He disappeared into the dark abyss, Ashley and Shane staring at the entrance dumbfounded. Minutes later, he reappeared with an embarrassed look on his face.
“Um, anybody have a light?”
* * *
Ashley, Shane, and Brock walked side-by-side, their footsteps echoing in the dark crevices and corners that make up the cave. Minuscule droplets of water splashed onto them from above, and the bright flame from Charizard’s tail caused shadows to dance and flicker all along the walls of the dank, musty cavern.
“This is strange. We’re not seeing-or hearing-any Pokémon,” Brock commented.
“They’re probably scared,” Ashley mumbled.
“Scared? Of whom?” Brock asked.
Ashley wasn’t able to answer, however, as large jagged rocks came flying out of the darkness ahead and flew into Charizard. He flew back and hit Ashley, Brock, and Shane, causing all of them to fall onto the hard cave floor. More rocks flew from the darkness and connected with their heads, causing their heads to fall back and hit the floor.
“Shane, Brock, are you o. . .” Ashley tried to spurt out, but she, along with everyone else, quickly lost consciousness.
Out of the darkness stepped what appeared to be an immense rock with long connected rocks to make up his arms and legs and seven red dots that made up his face. He waddled over to the four unconscious beings lying on the cave floor and picked up Shane and Brock. He then fled to the path up to the summit of Mt. Coronet, where his masters were.
* * *
“Brock! Brock, wake up!”
Brock woke up to find Shane looking at him with fear in his eyes, something that Brock had never seen in Shane before.
“Wh-where are we?” he asked.
“I-I don’t know! I just woke up minutes ago to find you lying there unconscious. Look—” He lifted up his shirt to reveal his belt, with what appeared to be holders that looked as if Poke Balls were supposed to be placed in them; however, they were all empty. “My Pokemon are gone! Now how are we going to get out of this--this prison cell?”
“Prison cell?” Brock finally looked at his surroundings clearly and found that all around him were four large concrete walls, all leading up to a flat gray ceiling. There were no windows or doors anywhere except a large steel door placed in front of them. Brock ran up to the door and tried to open it.
“It’s no use. It’s locked,” Shane solemnly stated.
“Then, we’re trapped!” Brock fearfully stated.
“Right you are,” a mysterious voice said.
“Huh? Who’s there?” Shane asked.
“Look above you,” the voice said. Brock and Shane looked to the ceiling to find a small intercom speaker hanging in one of the corners of the room.
“What are we doing here? Who are you? What have you done with Ashley?” Brock angrily asked.
“In due time, all questions will be answered; but for now, just sit back, relax, and wait.” With that, the conversation was over.
“Wait! Answer my questions, darn you!” Brock angrily shouted.
“It’s no use, Brock. They’re not going to say anything to us,” Shane proclaimed.
Puzzled, Brock looked over at Shane. “Since when did you get so nice? What about the rude, snide comments that I’m so use to hearing from you?”
“Ah, being trapped must have affected my brain. I’m sure I’ll get over it.”
Brock looked at him strangely, then sighed and sat down on the rough floor.
I hope Ashley’s okay, he thought to himself. They had better not have done anything to her. Strange, though. I could have sworn that I heard that voice before.
* * *
Charizard woke to find that Brock and Shane were gone; Ashley, however, was still lying on the cave floor, unconscious. He limped over to her and licked her face, hoping that it would wake her up.
“Hmm?” Ashley moaned and slowly opened her eyes, then gripped her head in pain.
“Ow.” She sat up and saw Charizard staring at her with a look of worry on his face.
“It’s okay, Charizard. I’m fine.”
She looked around her, thinking that she would see Brock and Shane lying next to her; however, they were both gone!
“Brock! Shane! Where are you?” Her cries echoed deeper into cave, but no one answered.
“Brock! Shane!” She yelled louder, hoping that someone would answer back; however, she was alone. She fell to the floor in defeat and started to cry; Charizard went over to comfort her, and she gripped him fearfully.
“Oh, Charizard! We’re all alone! Now what am I going to do? I don’t know if I can make it without Brock and Shane!” Suddenly, five bright flashes of light lit up the otherwise dark cavern, and all of her Pokemon appeared. Ashley looked up with surprise.
“What are you guys doing out?” They all stepped forward and said their names triumphantly, with looks of confidence on their vibrant faces. Ashley stopped crying and looked them with awe in her eyes.
“OK! I get it. With you guys by my side, I’m sure that I’ll be fine! C’mon, guys, let’s go!” She, along with her six Pokemon, started to trudge up the cave path.
I don’t know what lies ahead in this place, but I’m sure that I’ll be fine as long as I have all of you to protect me.
OKay.
Mass confusion going on here.
I think you should have given more description the random rocks knocking all of them out. I had to read that three times befoe reaizing that's what happened.
Also, at the very end, more description about the random pople saving Ashley would be nice.
At first, I thought that they had called in Ashley's pokemon, which got me worried.
Description is the key out of the cell of confusion.
Mass confusion going on here.
I think you should have given more description the random rocks knocking all of them out. I had to read that three times befoe reaizing that's what happened.
Also, at the very end, more description about the random pople saving Ashley would be nice.
At first, I thought that they had called in Ashley's pokemon, which got me worried.
Description is the key out of the cell of confusion.
When you say "the random pople saving Ashley would be nice," to what part of the story are you referring? I don't get it. Regirock didn't take Ashley, so she was still at the same spot where she got knocked out.
But yeah, I'll try to put more description in the "random rocks" part of the story.
But yeah, I'll try to put more description in the "random rocks" part of the story.
Chapter 9 is finally up! Sorry it took so long. I had a hard time writing this chapter to begin with, and then one of my teachers assigned our class a big project in school. Needless to say, I didn't have a lot of time to do this. But, our project is almost done, so hopefully you'll see the rest of these soon.
Chapter 9: Team ?
“Yes! We made it!” Ashley excitedly exclaimed as she and her Pokemon ran to the exit of the cave. It had been very hard and strenuous going through the cave, it getting steeper and steeper with every step, rocks blocking their path, and the occasional Legendary Golem to stop them in their tracks, but they finally made it.
Ashley stepped out into the bright light and smiled as a light fall of white snow drifted from the puffy gray clouds above. The whole area was covered with a soft coating of the powder, and she found that she wanted to play in it more than find Brock and Shane. However, a look to the right of her snapped her out of her childish state, and she gasped softly as a majestic sight rose above her. An immense office-like building stood before her, a large red R plastered onto the front side of it.
I wonder what that means, Ashley thought.
She called back her Pokemon and crept up to the front door. She checked if it was unlocked, then slowly opened it, making sure not to make a sound.
The inside was bare, the dark purple walls and black floor completely void of anything, save for an elevator at the back of the room. She walked over to the elevator door and pressed the “Up” button. She stepped inside the elevator and looked at the buttons on the panel in front of her. None of them had numbers on them; instead, they were labeled with letters. She pressed the one that said “I” and the elevator started to move.
* * *
She got out of the elevator and walked into a dimly lit room very much resembling the ground floor. . . except for a small table placed in the middle of the room with thirteen Poke Balls sitting on it. She walked up to the table and found that the Poke Balls were labeled with letters. She picked up the one labeled “VI” and pressed the button in the middle.
Out popped a tiny red-and-yellow Pokemon with large ears that formed a V shape and two wing like appendages attached to his back. At first he looked confused, but as he turned to see Ashley staring at him, a mixture of fear and awe, his eyes narrowed and he gained an angry look on his face. He jumped up onto the table and slyly went over to two Poke Balls labeled “R” and “Z.”
“Wh-what are you doing?” Ashley looked. As he reached to press the middle buttons, realization hit her face. “No! Stop! Don’t open those!”
Two flashes of light blinded her for a bit, and she opened her eyes to see two large dragons. One was a majestic, white-coated creature with small hands attached to large wings and a spiral-like tail that appeared to look like a torch; the other was seemingly an epitome of evil, his mouth appearing to be to twisted in a sick smile and his frightening physique, complete with his body being the darkest black she has ever seen, sending chills down Ashley’s spine. He also possessed an unusual tail, one that appeared to look like an electric generator.
Ashley stood, entranced with seeing the two ferocious beings standing before her. Reshiram fired a searing hot flame from his mouth, and Ashley dodged out of the way just in time to escape his flame. She fled for her life as Zekrom and Reshiram fired their flame and electricity at her. She ran up to the elevator door and frantically pressed the button.
“C’mon! C’mon! Open!” She quickly turned around and stared with awe as Reshiram shot a immense, burning ring of fire out of his seemingly small mouth ; Zekrom then shot a lightning bolt at the fire. The combined attack then shot towards her. She felt the doors behind her give away, and she fell backwards into the elevator. She pushed a button named “MR” and the doors closed just as the attack reached her.
“Phew.” She glanced over at the button that she hit. “I wonder where I’m going this time.”
The elevator doors creaked open, and she cautiously peered out into the area. This time, though, there was no table; instead, it looked to be an office for some important person. She glided silently across the floor, careful not to make a sound.
She stared at the room carefully, hoping to see some sort of indication of what to do next. The room was somewhat long and very wide, a large antique oak desk sitting on the other side of it. Right behind the desk stood a large window, a red “R” painted on the outside of said window. To the left and right of the desk were tall black-and-purple colored doors, each with the “R” painted on them, as well. The rest of the room was bare.
She walked up to the desk, and on it was a small recording machine that one would have if a call was missed and somebody needed to tell them something. She looked closely at the machine and saw that there was one message on it. Strange enough, there was also a note attached to the machine that said “Play me!”
She pressed the “Play” button, and a familiar female voice (though she couldn't place who it was) started speaking.
“Hello, Ashley. Yes, we know you’re here. We also know that you desperately want to avenge your parents’ deaths and save Brock and Shane in the process. In case you don’t already know, we killed your parents. And we won’t hesitate to do the same to Brock and Shane. The only way you can try to stop us is to get to the summit of Mt. Silver before midnight tonight. If you don’t, your world will become forever changed. And I can guarantee you that you won’t like the change.”
“I already don’t like it, you—you murderers!” Ashley grabbed the machine and flung it at the wall. It crashed into the wall and smashed into tiny pieces.
“Charizard!” She threw his Poke Ball into the air, and he popped out and slowly dropped to the ground.
“Charizard, use Strength on that desk! Smash that window!” Charizard picked up the desk and threw it into the window; the window shattered into small shards.
“Now! Let’s Fly!” Charizard landed, and Ashley climbed onto his back.
“Charizard, we’re going to Mt. Silver. Now, let’s hurry!” Charizard flew through the broken window and off into the blazing sunset towards their final confrontation.
Chapter 9: Team ?
“Yes! We made it!” Ashley excitedly exclaimed as she and her Pokemon ran to the exit of the cave. It had been very hard and strenuous going through the cave, it getting steeper and steeper with every step, rocks blocking their path, and the occasional Legendary Golem to stop them in their tracks, but they finally made it.
Ashley stepped out into the bright light and smiled as a light fall of white snow drifted from the puffy gray clouds above. The whole area was covered with a soft coating of the powder, and she found that she wanted to play in it more than find Brock and Shane. However, a look to the right of her snapped her out of her childish state, and she gasped softly as a majestic sight rose above her. An immense office-like building stood before her, a large red R plastered onto the front side of it.
I wonder what that means, Ashley thought.
She called back her Pokemon and crept up to the front door. She checked if it was unlocked, then slowly opened it, making sure not to make a sound.
The inside was bare, the dark purple walls and black floor completely void of anything, save for an elevator at the back of the room. She walked over to the elevator door and pressed the “Up” button. She stepped inside the elevator and looked at the buttons on the panel in front of her. None of them had numbers on them; instead, they were labeled with letters. She pressed the one that said “I” and the elevator started to move.
* * *
She got out of the elevator and walked into a dimly lit room very much resembling the ground floor. . . except for a small table placed in the middle of the room with thirteen Poke Balls sitting on it. She walked up to the table and found that the Poke Balls were labeled with letters. She picked up the one labeled “VI” and pressed the button in the middle.
Out popped a tiny red-and-yellow Pokemon with large ears that formed a V shape and two wing like appendages attached to his back. At first he looked confused, but as he turned to see Ashley staring at him, a mixture of fear and awe, his eyes narrowed and he gained an angry look on his face. He jumped up onto the table and slyly went over to two Poke Balls labeled “R” and “Z.”
“Wh-what are you doing?” Ashley looked. As he reached to press the middle buttons, realization hit her face. “No! Stop! Don’t open those!”
Two flashes of light blinded her for a bit, and she opened her eyes to see two large dragons. One was a majestic, white-coated creature with small hands attached to large wings and a spiral-like tail that appeared to look like a torch; the other was seemingly an epitome of evil, his mouth appearing to be to twisted in a sick smile and his frightening physique, complete with his body being the darkest black she has ever seen, sending chills down Ashley’s spine. He also possessed an unusual tail, one that appeared to look like an electric generator.
Ashley stood, entranced with seeing the two ferocious beings standing before her. Reshiram fired a searing hot flame from his mouth, and Ashley dodged out of the way just in time to escape his flame. She fled for her life as Zekrom and Reshiram fired their flame and electricity at her. She ran up to the elevator door and frantically pressed the button.
“C’mon! C’mon! Open!” She quickly turned around and stared with awe as Reshiram shot a immense, burning ring of fire out of his seemingly small mouth ; Zekrom then shot a lightning bolt at the fire. The combined attack then shot towards her. She felt the doors behind her give away, and she fell backwards into the elevator. She pushed a button named “MR” and the doors closed just as the attack reached her.
“Phew.” She glanced over at the button that she hit. “I wonder where I’m going this time.”
The elevator doors creaked open, and she cautiously peered out into the area. This time, though, there was no table; instead, it looked to be an office for some important person. She glided silently across the floor, careful not to make a sound.
She stared at the room carefully, hoping to see some sort of indication of what to do next. The room was somewhat long and very wide, a large antique oak desk sitting on the other side of it. Right behind the desk stood a large window, a red “R” painted on the outside of said window. To the left and right of the desk were tall black-and-purple colored doors, each with the “R” painted on them, as well. The rest of the room was bare.
She walked up to the desk, and on it was a small recording machine that one would have if a call was missed and somebody needed to tell them something. She looked closely at the machine and saw that there was one message on it. Strange enough, there was also a note attached to the machine that said “Play me!”
She pressed the “Play” button, and a familiar female voice (though she couldn't place who it was) started speaking.
“Hello, Ashley. Yes, we know you’re here. We also know that you desperately want to avenge your parents’ deaths and save Brock and Shane in the process. In case you don’t already know, we killed your parents. And we won’t hesitate to do the same to Brock and Shane. The only way you can try to stop us is to get to the summit of Mt. Silver before midnight tonight. If you don’t, your world will become forever changed. And I can guarantee you that you won’t like the change.”
“I already don’t like it, you—you murderers!” Ashley grabbed the machine and flung it at the wall. It crashed into the wall and smashed into tiny pieces.
“Charizard!” She threw his Poke Ball into the air, and he popped out and slowly dropped to the ground.
“Charizard, use Strength on that desk! Smash that window!” Charizard picked up the desk and threw it into the window; the window shattered into small shards.
“Now! Let’s Fly!” Charizard landed, and Ashley climbed onto his back.
“Charizard, we’re going to Mt. Silver. Now, let’s hurry!” Charizard flew through the broken window and off into the blazing sunset towards their final confrontation.