Writing Capture This - Chapter 3

Discussion in 'Creative Works' started by scattered mind, Mar 27, 2020.

  1. scattered mind Competitive VG Forums Mod
    scattered mind

    Forum Mod Member

    First time attempting to write ! Because why not and what else have I got to do in this coronavirus situation?

    I hope you like it. I tried something new here so it might come as silly or interesting. Idk. Feedbacks are welcomed. :)

    Chapter 1

    David got out early to work. Coffee and a piece of cake for breakfast. No pauses. He walked as a machine to his car. The road was slippery from the nightly rain. He stood in front of his desk and gazed upon the envelope resting on his laptop.

    "Next candidate for the job is ready sir," His secratary's voice alerted. David pressed down. "Send them in".
    He looked through the window, took a breath and let his eyes stare at a Pidgey resting on a truck.
    The door was knocked twice, not strongly. 'A polite perhaps shy person' he thought quickly before raising his chair and saying "Please come in".

    A young man stepped inside. Glasses. Short haircut. Smily. "Greetings, please have a sit." David smiled and sprayed the room. "what's your name?". His name was Ashton, 31 years old from Lavender town in Kanto. Studied monsters 5 years at Safron University, "I am a great fan of your work sir."

    "Well, I am certainly not the only one behind this project, but thank you Ashton." 'Five more minutes' he reminded hinself to relief the pain of interviewing. "Now, here is our current problem Ash, I can call you ash right?" David didn't wait for an answer and continued "the device was tested several times, but we can never be sure until we actually use it on a larger object. He took something round from his drawer and put it in front of the yound man. "If you take this job, what we need from you is to get one of the biggest monsters in the world... into this ball."

    "I see... What is the largest monster you have managed to capture in this thing?" Ashton asked pressing his glasses. "Nidokings, Arcanines, even a Tyranitar. But for this you will be sent with a team to try and capture a Gyarados." He waited for the horrified gasps. They never came. "Interesting. Would the device break if the monster escapes?" He asked surprisingly calmly. "Yes, that is why you will be equiped with more than enough and of course our own monsters to assist you. Unless you have your own monster."- "I have a Scizor but-"You might need more than that..anyway I will call you back."

    When he was finally alone in his office, David took the half red half white ball he showed Ashton and thought to himself that the guy was quite fit for the job. Then he remembered the envelope. He put down the ball and opened it. "Lawsuit against Mr. Kurt"... What's new?

  2. Vom Shocking Puns

    Forum Mod Member

    This is a really interesting concept scattered! It's really interesting to something that's not entirely pre-PokéBall, but rather smack in the middle of development. I guess I kind of just took them as a given, so I can't wait to see where you go with this.
    scattered mind likes this.
  3. Jadethepokemontrainer We're on the edge of greatness~

    Forum Mod Chat Room Staff Member

    Ooh, this concept is really intriguing, you've definitely Captured This Jade's interest...aha ha ha please forgive me.
    But seriously Scattered, this looks great! I really like the idea of learning about the history of the Pokeball here. I don't know if it's something that has specifically been explored before, but if it has I haven't seen it so It'll be really great to see this take and how the story develops.

    Anyways I just wanted to write this to be able to watch the thread. Pressing the button simply isn't as fun.
    scattered mind likes this.
  4. scattered mind Competitive VG Forums Mod
    scattered mind

    Forum Mod Member

    Thanks for the feedback! This is a first time public writing experience for me, so it's sure good to see it interesting you.

    Chapter 2

    "What if I told you it is possible to tame every single monser in existence, in a matter of seconds? You don't need to raise them from birth. You don't need to purchase eggs or hunt them with rocks. You can also forget about luring them with berries. All you need is a small copsule. The future is here. The all new Monster Ball- Because you got to-"

    Jane turned the radio off.

    She threw her rod again, moving her hair to the side and trying to focus on something in the distance. Her Luxio sat close by and was focused on the rod with its blazing eyes.
    The rod started to shake. "Get ready Luxio..." Jane alerted and pulled. It was a big fish. Salmon perhaps. "Now". Luxio emitted jolts of electricity. "Great... ready and fried".
    This catch was not common. Recently, it was nearly impossible to catch fish. Now that she started to think about it, she didn't remember the last time she saw a bird in the sky besides magical birds of course. Magical... she pondered and was reminded of the commercial she had heard in the radio. Not monsters, but magical creatures. Why do companies like Silph Co and Devon persist on changing that terminology. Is it to make their evil product seem less evil than what it is?
    The severe lack of chickens and cattle brought many people like her to go hunt for fish in lakes for food. Luckily, Jane knew how to fish thanks to her mother who was a longtime fisherwoman.

    Jane shifted her focus back to the edge of the lake. Something happened there but she could not see. The water started to swirl. She held her breath as she and her Luxio took a step back. A giant Gyarados raged outside the water with a painful roar. In a matter of seconds, it... turned red. Almost transparent but then it simply disappeared. "Come on Luxio, let's see what's going on there" Jane ran across the muddy area around the lake. She spotted a truck with big letters across it- "Silph Co - Johto". As soon as she reached the spot, she saw them- a crew of 5 or 6 people and some magical creatures. One man stood with a grin on his face and his hand risn up in the air holding a ball in the size of a tennis ball.


    David Kurt returned home late again. He hung his coat, sat down with cigar and a glass of water. His wife was asleep. He was about to join her when his phone screen lit. He picked it up. A message from Ashton.

    "Silph Co somehow got here before we did and their team captured a Gyarados. The thing is- They caught it immedietely. No attempts to weaken it. The ball was also... different." David was furious. He texted- not to Ash, but to someone else.

    "We need to arrange a meeting with the entire staff tomorrow morning. This is urgent."
  5. Turtwig Retired retired Mod. Jovimohnaeliackvid.

    Forum Mod Member

    Love the introduction of the Master Ball with Silph Co lore, brings me back to Firered/Leafgreen days. I can't wait to get more backstory/detail on the characters so far; I'm guessing Jane meets up with Ashton and David?

    One suggestion I have is to give the characters some deeper description. Appearance, manners of speaking, their relationship with their Pokemon. I'm looking forward to hearing more about them!
  6. scattered mind Competitive VG Forums Mod
    scattered mind

    Forum Mod Member

    Chapter 3

    Ten people gathered in a large meeting room. They were watching a video from a projector when David stepped inside the room. "This is bad" an old man said and pushed his glasses. "The question is how they managed to create such a thing". David pased the room and stopped in front of the window. "We'll need to activate our spies at Silph Co, but the question is not how. It's what. We need to keep our sales and make sure our products are more reliable." He turned to the room. "And make sure we make their product unreliable". Another man, who layed back in his chair with a large coffee mug asked "products? David we only have THE product." He showed him the white and red ball he had in his pocket. David smiled and approched him. "May I?" he took the ball and observed it for a few seconds. Then he started to pace the room again and once again turned to the window. He closed his eyes. David imagined all the monsters he had ever seen in his life, and started to brainstorm. "Jerry, the board plesae". The young man named Jerry got up and took a black marker to the whiteboard next to the table. "When you think about monsters, or magical creatures or whatever they call them, what do you think about?"

    The last one looked at the staring audiance. "What? they can be pretty scary".
    David rolled his eyes "keep going folks". And Jerry kept writing the suggestions.


    David raised his hand. "Stop!" He moved to the whiteboard and took Jerry's marker. Then he started to write "colors... what do they indicate... danger... gender... feelings... hierarchy.." Everyone looked at David curious to where he was going with this. He finally turned to them with a grin on his face and his arms open to the sides. "levels! We paint the monster balls- we go with a new campaign - I think.. yeah there is the normal red and white ball, but there is also... the blue ball. and then maybe the yellow ball. And we tell that each color indiactes how well the monster ball is. " Jerry nodded "but what difference does that make? I thought we can't make the monster ball capture better until next year, at least according to the lab..." David interrupted-"We don't. We just tell people that the color matters. It'll take some time to realise they don't and by that time we will have enough resources to make a better monster ball- but we'll upgrade only some not all. Then sell the better balls in higher prices."

    A young woman with glasses and short hair folded her hands "And how does it help us making Silph Co unreliable?" David shrugged "The best we can do until we have more information is to make the idea of having a perfect catching device unrealistic. A fraud. And we do that by conditioning society to think in levels. Heck even types of monster. There are balls for fire monsters and balls for water monsters.. the options are endless."


    Rachel Kurt spotted some of her classmates next to a large poster on the hallway next to her locker. She had moved to the school at the beginning of the year. It's her third time overall. Thank goodness this year she'll graduate. She was slim and refused to wear glasses even though she needed a pair just to read from afar. But it made her feel different and she felt like she already is different enough. She had to move closer if she ever wanted to see what's on that poster. "Ralts...pss..can you use Calm Mind please?" She whispered to her bag. Students weren't supposed to bring creatures or animals to school, but she and her Ralts were unseparatable from a very young age and she couldn't think about facing any level of society without having her besides her. A sudden drop of mystical liquid fell on her forehead and Rachel could feel her heart slowing down. "Thanks.." she whispered again and approched the small crowd next to the poster. One of the students stood on a pile of books next to the poster. Probably because she wanted to say something and people tend to want to be tall when they give a speech. Rachel listened when that girl indeed started to speak. "Join today to stop the madness. And demand answers - What happens to the creatures that are taken and manipulated into a size of a tennis ball? They tell us they are safe but I believe there is more to that!"

    Rachel took away her stare from the girl to the poster. It said "Magical Creatures are not tools! Silph Co and Devon need to give answers!" And it had pictures of people.. workers of the Silph Co and Devon company, and.. her Dad. "Ralts, please use Calm Mind again..."


    Jane was furious and did not pay attention to the clock. She kept talking to the crowd and managed to get people to join the cause. What a great feeling! She stepped down from the book pile her friend Dina had suggested her to stand on because "let's face it, no one listens to short people" Jane thought to herself that she wasn't that short and that Dina didn't pay enough attention in History class. She then noticed this girl with a bag that was way too big for school. She was weeping against her locker.
    "Hey.. Are you ok?" She approached her. The big bag girl covered her eyes "I'm ok sorry... nothing happened just got something in my eyes".
    Jane smiled. "You're the new girl right? I'm Jane. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you cried.. or about that Ralts you carry there."
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2020

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