Writing Ban Wars: CHAPTER 10 IS FINALLY UP!! Its only half of CH10, but still read and post!!

RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 7 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out!

Well its like the wall is complete, I hit it, it sends a surge through it that makes a momentary hole, but 42 takes advantage of the opportunity. So...and thanks! Glad you like it.
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 7 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out!

Seth1789110 said:
WHO WOULD TURN THIS STORY INTO A ROMANCE? HONESTLY?! If its SETH, he is DEAD.

Yeah that's my comment. And what's the triangle thing from? Is it that game you were playing on your PSP that one day at BRs?
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 7 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out!

I dont ever recall that quote...where did you find that? Lol. Also, the triangle thing is the reaction command in KH2, reversal being the most famous of the reaction commands.
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 7 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out!

The next chapter should be up by like Friday, cause I got drivers and stuff, but whenever I have time to write I will. Currently its about 4 pages long so...
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 7 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out!

After the wait, here it is! CHAPTER 8!!

~Beginning of Entry Nine~

As soon as we were in striking range, the mods disappeared.

"Cowards!"

The armies however remained.

"Guys! We have to help out the army!"

I ran towards the members, but stopped to find a large dragon flying towards us.

"Scampy..."

He roared(lolz I madez himz a dragonz) and shot a fireball towards us. Instinctively, I swung my sword, but Galefail had already fired multiple boulders to destroy it.

"Seth! Electimortar and I will go help out the soldiers, you guys handle Scampy!"

I nodded as Pokechamp and 42 chocolate got near me.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

Scampy roared again and landed on the ground. He was about 6 stories tall when standing on all fours, with massive wings and various spikes on his body. He was a blood red color. We began fighting him, but due to his immense stature, he easily overpowered us, knocking us to the ground. He stood above us.

"This-is it!"

He roared again and began charging a large fireball. Just as he was about to fire it, someone ran up his tail and to his head, where he back flipped off of Scampy's head and threw multiple grenade like items, blowing up near his head, stopping the charge. The figure landed in front of us and jumped at Scampy, pulling out two sword-like daggers and slashing at Scampy, who roared. The figure landed again and threw off his hood.

"Looked like you needed help. Names Celebi23."

"Celebi? Its me-Seth1789110!"

He smiled.

"Good to have friends on the inside."

I got on my feet and stared at Scampy. Celebi23 jumped by me.

"Listen Seth. Its not safe to fight Scampy here. We have to go-to the city of mIRC. There is someone there-his name is Satoshi-kun. He is only in this city. He knows something no one else does, and we have to find out what it is."

"mIRC?"

"Listen-I will explain later."

He pulled out a special orb, which was the one given by TofU. I did the same, and soon the six dragons arrived, and battled Scampy for a brief time, forcing him to retreat. Galefail and Electimortar soon joined us, and we hopped on our respective dragons.

"Lou! Head for the city of mIRC!"

He took off into the air, the other dragons following. Scampy roared and lifted into the air. He was easily bigger than any of the others, and much faster.

"Look out! Its gonna be a rough flight!"

Scampy lifted into the air and flew after us, breathing fire whenever he could. I looked around for a way to escape. We were flying over a large plain, and a mile or so in the distance was a rather large canyon.

"Lou! Fly towards that canyon! He cant chase us through there!"

Lou roared and turned, the others followed. He dove down into the canyon, and Scampy followed, smashing against rocks. He continued however. I turned.

"Electimortar! Shoot at the rocks with fire! Shoot at them with electricity! 42 chocolate! Shoot at them with explosive arrows! Celebi23! Throw those grenades!"

They did so, trying to knock the rocks down. Eventually, the rocks crumbled, and massive boulders fell off, narrowly missing us and smashing Scampy down. I smiled.

"Yeah!"

Lou and the other dragons flew out of the canyon and towards a rather large mountain chain. They landed about 100 feet from the summit, and we hopped off.

"Thank you so much Lou. I will call if I need help again."

He nodded and lifted into the air, flying off. The others followed. I turned.

"Well-I have never even heard of this city-so I guess we should be on guard."

We slowly climbed the summit, and I was the first to reach the top. Expecting a normal city, I stared in awe at it. It was a city in a crater, but everything was incredibly futuristic. Cars floated, and some buildings even floated.

"Whoa..."

Celebi23 walked forward.

"Well-are you coming?"

I nodded and followed. A bus was flying by and he ran and jumped on it. As it sped away, he yelled.

"WELL HURRY!"

I nodded, and Galefail grabbed me and held me by his waist and jumped onto a passing by floating truck. I managed to stand.

"This is crazy!"

My hair flew back and I tried to run and jump to the bus in front but was blown back by the wind, and was caught by Galefail.

"Seth-your never going to get anywhere like that."

I nodded. I stared at the buildings that were filled with flashing billboards and signs. Someone was standing next to one, but had a hood. We zoomed past, but he jumped onto a passing truck.

It...cant be...

I stared at him until we turned a corner. The rest of the group had caught up onto the same truck.

"Did-you guys see that mod?"

Pokechamp turned.

"I did. And-I see him-moving towards us."

The mod was flying towards us, using massive flames to power his flight, as a jet plane would do, but with fire.

"Whoa..."

He fired a blast of fire, which caused the car behind us to explode and go down.

"This is a problem!"

He charged up another blast and fired, but Electimortar intercepted. Celebi23 jumped back onto our truck.

"I know that mod!"

The mod landed on the back of our truck. He flipped his hood. In unison, we yelled.

"B-RAY!"

He smiled.

B-Ray: Welcome to my city. Unfortunately-

Two jets of fire burned from his hands.

B-Ray: WE AREN'T ALLOWING VISITORS!

I gulped and turned to run, but one of the jets of fire hit me in the back, making me fall off, falling down towards the road. Hundreds of cars zoomed by, all hovering. I managed to catch one with my sword, and swung, smashing myself against the back of it.

Ah!

Celebi23 turned and looked.

"Guys! Seth's in trouble! Look for a man named Satoshi-kun! I will help Seth!"

He turned and jumped off, jumping from car to car to the one I was hanging from. He landed on it and helped me up. B-Ray yelled.

B-Ray: NEVER!

He held his hands behind him and tilted his feet and massive jets of fire emitted from them and he started to fly after us.

"He's using the fire as thrust!"

B-Ray swerved to avoid cars and the like, speeding up. Celebi23 stared at him.

"They will never find Satoshi-kun. Seth-distract him. Don't try to fight-you wont win. Trust me, many have tried, and many have failed. Distract him until we get back, all right?"

I nodded, afraid of what was going to happen. Celebi23 jumped off onto a passing truck that was headed a different direction. I turned to B-Ray, who was getting closer and closer. I bit my lip and jumped off onto another truck, barely grabbing the edge as B-Ray launched a fireball at the previous truck, causing it to explode. The truck I was on swerved and turned, heading past a large, flat topped skyscraper. B-Ray laughed and lifted his hands, creating massive walls of flame which surrounded the buildings around it, creating a large box. He flew to the top of it.

B-Ray: ITS OVER SETH!

I watched as he held one palm up, creating a small blue ball, and he pointed his hand forward, and a blue jet of fire engulfed the truck in front of me.

Jesus Christ!

He repeated his attack, taking out more and more of the trapped trucks, with me barely dodging to the truck behind. As soon as I would land, he would be ready to fire again. He fired at a truck passing close to a building, which caused an explosion in the building. Large chunks of it fell onto a wall of fire, revealing a highway tunnel, which was closed down for construction. The truck I was standing on was carrying something, and the latch on the back broke, revealing two hover cycle One was slipping out and I grabbed it and turned it on just in time to jump onto it, as B-Ray destroyed the truck. I revved the engine and flew for the tunnel, trying to escape. The rest of the trucks drove into the tunnel and they sped past me. B-Ray roared with anger, and massive fireballs shot into the sky, destroying the remaining trucks. He jumped off the building, jets of fire shooting from his legs. He chased after me, destroying the trucks in his path. I swerved to avoid the fire attacks he shot at me.

He is ANGRY! Celebi23 was right! If I tried to fight him it would be a slaughter!

He shot at me again, and I swerved, doing a 360 around the tunnel. When I finished, a row of gold coins awaited me, in line, spinning in unison. I flew at them, collecting them.

All right! Seven coins!

I swerved up the wall, avoiding him and collecting more coins. A speed boost was waiting on the side and it launched me, and the cycle was in autopilot while I collect 56 coins.

"Yes!"

He fired again, now firing larger attacks and at a faster pace.

Not good not good!

I continued to swerve, flying into a very narrow side tunnel, which he missed. I flew out, and into another populated part of the city. I turned to look back to see him enraged, flying in a ball of fire, faster than before. I quickly revved the engine again, going faster. Citizens watched the chase.

[19:48] <Sentret> lol
[19:48] <+Muse> lol
[19:48] <+Lenny> lol

Great! They are loling at this chase!

B-Ray launched another fire attack, and I barely dodged it. He was now just chasing me, and I was swerving and dodging all the passing trucks and cars.

He is relentless. I am gonna need to figure something out...and fast...

This continued as I flew through the city until I stopped at a large skyscraper. I turned to find B-Ray hovering about 200 feet away, still in the ball of fire. I turned the cycle around so I could stand on it and face him. I did so, pulling out my sword. It was windy, which made it difficult to balance, but I managed to get a good foot hold. He smiled. I was expecting him to charge at me, but instead he began to move his hands in a strange fashion. Small jets again came out of his feet and he had absorbed all the fire into two small, intensely hot fire balls. He smiled before raising his voice as he smashed them together, sending a vertical wave of blue fire shooting towards me. My eyes widened quickly, and I was about to fly straight forward but realized the building behind me. I stared at it, knowing there was no way to block. Instead I looked to both sides and just jumped, the hover cycle exploding behind me. I continued to fall until a truck came out of no where under me, causing me to smash into it, rendering me unconscious.
~~

"Galefail! Cmon! Hurry!"

Galefail nodded and smashed down the door. Inside was a very large room, lined with books. It was a library of sorts, but a very old one at that. A line of lanterns strode along the wall leading to a large chair. Beside each arm of the chair were two large bowls with fire burning in them. Celebi23 walked forward, looking around. The others did the same. Pokechamp was walking by the chair when he accidentally bumped into one of the torches, revealing a switch. He hit the switch, which revealed a door way. Celebi23 stared at it.

"I am not going in first..."

Electimortar sighed.

"Well I can light it so I will go first."

He held out his palm and a small fire began to burn, illuminating the passage. They walked along the path until a bright light began to show. At the end was a small little grove of sorts, with large bushes surrounding the edges, and an in-ground fountain. The water was crystal clear. A man sat on the other side, meditating. He did not say a word.

"Satoshi-kun?"

He finally looked at Celebi23.

"Welcome Celebi23, Galefail, Pokechamp, Electimortar, and 42 chocolate."

They were astounded.

How does he know all of our names?

"I have been waiting for you, as I saw you would come. You need help I presume?"

Celebi sat down and nodded, as did the others.

"Yeah. See-our friend Se-"

"Seth1789110's love, Ziggoratt999 was taken from him by a mod, and you are searching for her?"

Celebi was shocked.

"Y-yeah..."

"Well. I cannot tell you what has happened to her, or where she is, for I do not know. There are two things I DO know that will help you on your quest."

"And they are..."

"You must head for the forest that you were once at, for there is someone very wise living inside. He can help you train to fight the mods easier."

"All right, and what else do you have to help us?"

"Your friend, Seth1789110, was unable to hold the mod B-Ray off as long as you had hoped. B-Ray is a relentless mod with stupendous power, yet he has very little control over it. He has taken your friend. Where he went, that I know not."

Celebi stood, and the others did the same.

"Thank you. Sorry for this being so short but-"

He turned.

"We have to help Seth!"

They left the small room, running back and out of the library. Celebi23 held out the orb to call the dragons, and they came. Lou Cypher looked for Seth.

"Lou, Seth is gone! The mods captured him, we have to rescue him!"

The dragons nodded and lifted off, headed for the mods fortress.
~~

I was waking up, and I looked around. I was in a dark stone room, and the sound of dripping water was heard in the corner. I tried to move but rusty chains prevented me from doing so.

Wha...where am I?

I tried to break free, but could not. The gate opened and a mod walked in. B-Ray. He smiled.

B-Ray: The mighty Seth1789110, defeated by a single mod. How pitiful. Your little journey ends here.

He held out his palm and a blue ball of fire began to burn. My eyes widened.

"If you kill me-the others will find you-and kill you!"

He laughed again.

B-Ray: No Seth, we will defeat them as well. Haven't you realized? You cannot defeat us. You are a single member, and we are the mods of this website. You did get far, but this is as far as you will go.

I tried to move, but again, could not. He started to walk towards me, when another mod walked up. The mod was still covered in the cloak and he shook his head. In a voice that was indistinguishable, he walked next to B-Ray.

???: Do not kill him. He can be of use to us. That is what the master wants.

B-Ray grumbled and stood back. The light was faint as the mod walked over to me. He stared into my face, but I could not see his.

"What do you want with me?"

The mod laughed and threw off the hood. I was taken back, unable to speak.

~End of Entry Nine~
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

Wow! Keep it up! This is great! I want more of it!
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

I suggest some improvements:

He was about 6 stories tall when standing on all fours, with massive wings and various spikes on his body. He was a blood red color. We began fighting him, but due to his immense stature, he easily overpowered us, knocking us to the ground. He stood above us.
You fall under the same trap many do in description: your verb choice is bland while doing so; I see "was," "was," "began fighting," "easily overpowered," "stood." I dare you to come tell me those aren't boring verbs. Regardless, they are in relation to the vast choice of vocabulary out there. So why didn't you choose interesting verbs? In fact, why am I repeating myself?

Let me put it this way: do you want us to spend a decent amount of effort into reading this? If so, I suggest you spend a decent amount of effort into your work to avoid specific areas of lousy writing as the one I quote. Here's a good tip: Take your time! There's no such thing as a deadline!
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

Ah, and HERE she is. Lol. Thanks for the advice. I will try to work on it.
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

You're welcome. ;D
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

Everyone, chapter 9 has been started, and ya know, I will try to take ma time on it. Aight? Lol.
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

Hey, what gives? I didn't get to ban anyone in this chapter! *runs*
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

Hey you found it! Yeah, see, I consider you one of they VERY few nice mods. Your a very wise elder...
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

This is an awesome story!! I can't wait 'till the next chapter.
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

Hey, everyone, gotz some bad news/ See, my computer just got a nasty virus, and my dad has yet to wipe the hard drive. When he does however, everything on my computer will be lost. Including all the Ban Wars stuff. So, I am putting my writing on a hiatus until it is fixed, and will start again, because writing all the stuff in e-mails on my moms computer is LAME. So...
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

Buy a flash drive, you s- *shot*

You could just type it up as a draft for a reply on PokéBeach and save it. That way, you won't easily lose the data next time.
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

Oh yeah...well my computer is fixed, so once I upload all the previous stuff from my old hard drive, then I will start uh-gain
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

Its coming along...its coming along...expect next week monday at the LATEST.
 
RE: Ban Wars: Chapter 4 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! PLEASE POST PLEASE!!!!!?

Seth1789110 said:
"You see, long ago, Pokefan2000 created a prophecy."
Honestly, where do you see a 2 in my username? XD

I haven't really read anything past the first chapter until a few hours ago. Probably because I was trying to find the one with me in it
What I read was just awesome. You could use spellcheck, but I can see what you were trying to do.
And don't try to use so many hyphens. They kinda make it hard to read. At least for me.
 
RE: Ban Wars: CHAPTER 8 is up, as is Info Faq! Check it out! And please post!

Aha THERE he is lol. And thanks for your suggestions. I will work on it, and I got confused about the numbers and stuff lol.

ANYWAYS: People, I don't know what to do. My computer is just-ick. I wrote some in a draft, but I find writing in a draft VERY slow and painful for me, and most of the programs on my computer need to be uninstalled/reinstalled, which for some reason takes a while. I am completely up to date(Windows XP is my favorite lol, soooo good) So I have to take yet another break(its going to be a month lol or so) before the next chapter is up. With school being hectic, I am writing as best I can. So bear with me...
 
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