Abuse of literature, bacon style.

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I'm not sure whether reviving this thread is valid, seeing as how I do have a relevant update. Well, if I have broken the rules, feel free to yell mods :]

Now that I have two weeks of holidays, and NO MORE DAMN FRIGGIN' MATH COURSEWORK AHHHHH (ahem) I can now continue the story that isn't really going anywhere, safe in the knowledge that when you read it, I'll appear to be even more insane than you previously thought. Yay.

Rather than get back to the story, I thought I'd cook up an excuse as to why Talnem is so demented.



Science and magic

There are four fundamental forces acting within our universe. These are, in no particular order; gravity, the weak force, the strong force, and good old electro magnetism. Oh, and dark energy, but we don’t like to talk about that one. It’s weird.

Anyway, the four and a bit forces get along nicely within our universe, everything makes sense and everything can be broken down into lovely little equations. The scientists can get on with their crackpot theories in peace, the sun always rises in the morning, and you can eat your cereal in the safe knowledge that it won’t suddenly morph into a penguin. Life may still be complicated, but at least it is predictable.

But that’s our universe.

Talnem has an extra force, and so it makes things rather messy. The extra force has not grown up yet, it enjoys throwing its weight around, and while it is comparatively weak compared to the other forces it can still do enough to make you wish you had paid attention to the current state of your cereal as you raise a spoonful of penguin into your mouth. What is this force called? Why, magic of course!

Magic is very difficult to predict. Unlike the other forces, you can’t stick magic into an equation, it won’t work, plain and simple. It’s like trying to push an enraged bull elephant into a matchbox, without taking the matches out first. Physicists do not like magic, they like good old reliable regular science. Too bad there is a lot of magic around then.

So, to put it lightly, science and magic do NOT get along like a house on fire. A more accurate term would be that they get along like a block of flats that has burst into flames, and everyone inside is burning a slow painful death.
 
Yay! More abuse of literature!

Although I didn't end up laughing like a hyena eating a clown, it was amusing, what will the little, young, not-yet-grown-up force named magic do? Well, I wanna know, CONTINUE WRITING!!!

*eats some more cereal... WHAA, penguins?!"
 
Chakra said:
This storyline is just like that of a soap opera's! :O
Click to expand...

It's exactly like one isn't it? In that it isn't really going anywhere, and the author is only putting in things because they sound good. I have yet to see a Wooper in a soap opera though :[

Not entirely sure why I said penguins. Hmm.
 
Yea, I'm reading. Lol. Where did...What's his name, ah, Vertal and the mad Wooper go?
 
They'll be back. I just thought I'd say a bit more about Talnem physics before continueing :]

Same goes for Lenthook. Oh, and an apple.
 
The boy and his Wooper sat underneath a large tree as the rain grew louder and harder. Walter didn’t like the rain, and had hidden behind the clouds rather like the big gentle child in the playground who doesn’t want to get involved in the fight because he knows that, being the big child, he will get blamed for it all. For those of you who don’t know, Walter is the name given to the moon- I will actually explain why some time in the near future.

Anyway…

Vertal rubbed his head as he tried to remember what had happened before the sudden whumping, but it was difficult to do over the deafening roar of water pouring down around them. Eventually he gave up and turned to the blue thing, which had been staring at him smiling ever since they took refuge under the tree. It is difficult to start a conversation with a non-human being who constantly smiles like a necrophiliac in a morgue, but Vertal gave it a good try anyway.

Vertal cleared his throat. The blue thing shifted expectantly.

“So… what’s your name?” He asked tentatively. It doesn’t even blink, he told himself.

“I don’t have one yet. You have to name me.” It replied enthusiastically, hoping up and down, until it fell over. Vertal picked it up again (twice, it was still slippery) and noticed an apple lying in front of them.

This was a special apple. So special it even gets its own paragraph. It is a perfect apple, a divine apple, perhaps the greatest apple ever to exist, an apple that conveys all that is apple by merely existing. This apple has a mission, and by god is it going to fulfill it. It is THE apple.

“I think I’ll name you Apple” Vertal said after some thought. “So” he continued “What exactly, urm, I don’t mean to be rude here, but what are you?”

There was a pause. Not an ordinary pause. The sort of pause you get just before a volcano erupts.

“I’m a Wooper!!!” exploded Apple happily, jumping up and down like a manic kangaroo attached to some springs. “Wooper Wooper Wooper Wooper Woo-“

“I see” interrupted Vertal loudly. He really wanted to end the conversation there, in case Apple died of excitement (which wouldn’t be that bad really, Vertal thought darkly), but there was still one thing that didn’t make sense.

Vertal took a deep breath, and asked “I couldn’t help but notice earlier that you were trying to kill me. But now you’re treating me as if I’m the best thing you’ve ever seen. Why?” He braced himself for the onslaught of happy words and more jumping.

“Well” Apple began, not insanely happy this time, but curiously and no longer smiling “I’m not really sure, I just had an insane urge to rip you limb from limb.”

“Oh” said Vertal uncomfortably “Funny that.”

No more words were exchanged after that. The two sat and watched the rain continue to pour down as the wet mud swallowed up the perfect apple.

Yes. The apple had completed its first mission. All was going to plan.





Ok, so there's a lot about apples here. In fact I feel the word "apple" has been mentioned more times than is healthy, but with good reason. Yes people, as amazing and impossible as it sounds, this story is slowly but surely developing.... a plot.

OMG.
 
Apple, lol! (not that I didn't give my entire Pearl team food-names, but still, lol)

I really taught the divine apple's divine mission was to divinely fill wooper's belly.

Can't wait to read more, this was yet another perfect chapter (although I think this is all still chapter 1 right?) in an already perfect story (perfect is a big word, ...but I can use it, cause I'm a big boy :F)
 
No, there's more to apples than you think. Much more...

As for the chapter, I think this might be chapter 2. Oh pah, chapters are useless anyway, I'll divide it up when (if ever) I finish the story =D

And yeah, perfictk is a big word :[
 
Never finish the story? Come on, it was meant to be. It's not like one of those books that just stop on page 252 and say "To be continued... in another book." No, this is more than that! Make the apple do tricks, too, because it's kinda boring right now. (the apple) And Apple - the Wooper - it seems in this "plot" he'll be evil and he'll ruin the story. :[
 
No no, put yourself in Apples position. It has just hatched, and doesn't know how to act- smiling like an idiot is, in its opinion, the natural way to behave. Yeah, I put SOME thought into this XD
 
I like it! I didn't think there were any people who weird like me! Hey! Do you sing about ice-cream? Cuz, we could be related. Anyway, this sounds like a twisted jhonen vasquez work. With less blood of course.
 
Please don't post in a thread that hasn't had a reply in two weeks or more. You should read the forum rules.

->Locked<-
 
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