Writing Unlock - Chapter 3: Caged

Skyleaf2000

Skyleaf2000

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How can you unlock the door...
...if the key is shattered?​


An untold tale of Unova finally comes into the light. Team Plasma is at its prime, commanding the largest forces in the region.
Emen, Zek and Syrco are the Shadow Triad, high-ranking members of the organization who can be almost invisible at will.
Emen is followed by a strange image that disappears whenever he tries to look.
As the image grows stronger, he struggles to ignore it...
Zek's dreams are haunted by a faraway shape that cries out to him from a distance.
When a strange event shatters all logic, Zek begins to question everything he thought was truth...
Syrco doesn't know what to think. He has always felt unnerved near Ghetsis, or any member of Team Plasma.
On a mission, he discovers something that changes everything, forever...

What is the secret behind the hidden door? Find out in Unlock...​



Critique is welcome!



Prologue​
Cold, dark air swirled throughout the dim room. The stone walls and chill in the atmosphere gave the chamber an ominous feel. Light shone through the open doors and windows, but only barely lifting the veil of darkness. The night’s only light was the pale moon, a cruel replacement for the sun that the world so desperately needed.

Its murky light shone down on the man’s face, making his skin as pale as the long white coat that he wore. The man looked almost colorless in the moon’s glow. He was altogether quite unremarkable in his appearance, looking much like any other in his profession. His only distinguishable trait was his blond hair with its swirl of blue that went up and around his head.

He enjoyed this time of night, when there was nothing but the moon to light his way. Sometimes he wondered why he enjoyed the cruelty and harshness of the moonlight. It reflected his inner nature, he supposed.

The sound of the door opening made him turn, his glasses flashing as he turned away from the glow. So he’s finally here, then. Three figures entered the room, each clothed in black that seemed to mix with the shadows in the room. And he’s brought friends, the scientist thought, amused.

The cloaked man’s pale green hair with its three prongs reflected the moonlight like ice as he continued forward into the room. The other two stayed by the door, respecting the man who clearly outranked them.

The researcher couldn't help but mentally flinch as the cloaked man turned his gaze to him. There was some sort of distortion in that face, apart from the red shield over his right eye. Cruelty somehow shaped his appearance to create uneasiness in anyone who saw it. But perhaps I look the same way to others, the scientist mused. I certainly hope not.

The man seemed to grow taller, more intimidating as he spoke, his icy, rasping voice seeming to slice through the air. “You better have a good reason to summon me, Colress.”

Just what I expected him to say, Colress sighed in his mind. But he kept the sigh off his face, replying, “Of course, Lord Ghetsis. I never do things without reason, and I understand you are often busy.”

Ghetsis’s glare sharpened, harsh enough to cut stone. “If you do have a reason, then kindly get to the point.” His voice was almost like a snarl. Colress glanced towards the two figures by the door. The Grunts here... may make this difficult. The plan depended on secrecy. The less people knew, the better. Colress turned to face the moonlight, crossing his arms, though not in a way that was disrespectful. “It is about… that which we spoke of earlier.”

The matter was a very well hidden operation, one that only the sages and Colress knew of. Even N, the projected King of Team Plasma, knew not even a whisper of it. So much for an all-knowing King. Colress was amused at the thought.

Colress felt his leader’s gaze release a little. “…I see. Well?” the sage said, more like a demand than a question. Colress turned to face Ghetsis again. “All I wanted to say is that everything is in position. The prime opportunity is now.” A sinister half-smile played at his leader’s face, barely noticeable in the dim light, but enough to shift it slightly.

Colress hid an amused smirk creeping upon him. “All there is left for us to do is-” he caught himself, his eyes involuntarily flickering to the Grunts. It was hard to speak with their prying eyes upon him. They were dying to know what he spoke of. But they couldn't know anything, or it would be disastrous to the project. “All there is left to do is … acquire them.”

Ghetsis’s half-smile disappeared as quickly as it came, replaced by a stern scowl once more. “Then I see no need for hesitation.” Colress smirked. No need to waste time, eh? They’ll be quite useful, especially now that our numbers have dropped so low. Though I do wonder how you’ll fetch them without telling any Grunts, seeing as you never do anything yourself. He chuckled mentally at the thought.

Ghetsis closed his eyes as if lost in his sinister thoughts. “With their power… their name shall be known across Unova.” Colress raised an eyebrow. So you are willing to spill some things, are you? Seems you’ve lost character.

“…And after tomorrow, they shall be servants of Team Plasma.”
 
RE: Unlock - (UPDATE: Prologue)

This was an amazing introduction that brought a shiver up my spine. What a deep bit of dialogue between two leaders of Unova--this is also probably one of the first Unova-based stories in a while. I can't wait to see where this goes because you have so much freedom with this region and set of characters. Your portrayal of Colress was pretty spot-on, I'd say, because he's a very sarcastic, annoyed little fellow. Good luck writing--I can't wait to see the rest! :D
 
RE: Unlock - (UPDATE: Prologue)

Turtwig said:
This was an amazing introduction that brought a shiver up my spine. What a deep bit of dialogue between two leaders of Unova--this is also probably one of the first Unova-based stories in a while. I can't wait to see where this goes because you have so much freedom with this region and set of characters. Your portrayal of Colress was pretty spot-on, I'd say, because he's a very sarcastic, annoyed little fellow. Good luck writing--I can't wait to see the rest! :D
Click to expand...

....is it normal that I started bawling in joy after reading this?
lasdflasdkjfasldfjasfasd I cannot say how much this means to me.
I will do my best to live up to your expectations! *salutes*
 
RE: Unlock - (Chapter 1: Shadows)

Chapter 1
Shadows​

Grey.

The world was grey. The sky, barely seen between the mountains, it was grey, though not a cloud touched it. The air was gray like the fog that swirled within it. The moon was nonexistent, yet he knew that if he could see it, it would be grey. Even the grass, cold and hard as stone, was bleak and colorless…grey.

He sped through the desolate world. His hair flew behind him. The short cape around his waist pulled its belts back, straining against his legs. But he could not stop. He knew, if he stayed still too long, the grey would take him as well. His white hair would fade into the grey, his face, his mind, everything would all disappear and be lost in the fog.

His eyes were set on the only color, a glimmer of red in the distance. It was constantly fleeing, fast as the wind that no longer blew through the hills. It fled, but not on its own will. He knew. It cried out in his mind, begging him to keep up, to find it, to help it.

He had to catch it. It was the only hope. And he was running out of time.

It was much faster than him, disappearing into the fog and then reappearing farther away. Its speed kept it only a crimson speck, a blur, and yet somehow, he knew it was—

What? What was it?

His pace faltered.

What was it? Why was he chasing it?

He sped up again, trying to shake off his confusion. He had to keep… chasing…

Chase… Chase it? He was chasing something?

The red glimmer begged, cried out for him not to give up, not to give in. It pleaded for him not to listen, desperately trying to prove its existence!

…No.

He wasn’t chasing. There was nothing to chase.

The glimmer was weeping. But he knew it was fake. His running slowed to a stop, his belts still barely swaying. He stood unmoving as the shadows began to rise up around him in a silent greeting, welcoming him. The red cried out, but its cry died to a whisper as the darkness rose above his face, its voice drowning out the glimmer’s sorrow. The glimmer was an illusion. It did not matter. The blackness was all. He stood still as it wrapped him in its arms, and his mind faded.

~~​

His eyes opened, blinking as the strong sunlight fell on his face. It streamed through the leaves above him, creating a green-gold pattern on his face. The leaves rustled slightly on their branches as a gentle breeze pushed past.

He sat up, knowing that his brothers were awake. They always woke at the same time. The only times they didn’t were scattered times when one of them awoke later. And the dream showed that it was one of those days. The dream was beginning to drift away, as all dreams did. But he still remembered most of it. That same dream. It happened again. Whenever that dream came, it would happen.

He dropped out of the tree, landing silently. His eyes flickered to the other trees where his brothers had slept. But they weren’t there. I was right.

His brothers slipped out of a different tree, landing quietly behind him. He wasn’t surprised. They wouldn’t leave him, though they knew he could easily find them.

One of his brothers spoke. “You’re late, Zek.” It was Emen, his voice low and quiet, yet somehow firm. His eyes possessed an almost icy feel. But that was how they always were, like his ever-present scowl.

Zek nodded, resisting a glare. “I could tell.” He didn’t want to have his anger explode again. Their plan depended on them being hidden, and although they were alone, he did not want to take a risk. It didn’t help that Emen seemed older than his brothers. His demeanor sometimes fanned Zek’s already quick anger, because truly they were all the same age.

Syrco stepped forward. His hair, longer than the others’, moved just slightly as he spoke. His eyes always seemed a bit lost in thought, though Zek knew he was not one to take lightly. “We should go. We can’t delay any further.”

They nodded in unison and leaped into the trees. Zek grasped a branch with both hands, more pulling himself forward than climbing up. The leaves barely moved as he swept past. But he was not surprised. Even the trees would not notice a Shadow.

Emen and Syrco moved simultaneously in different trees. Zek could sense them, though he could not see them. And he knew they sensed him as well. They shot through the canopy, silent and barely moving a leaf. Zek thought’s wandered back to yesterday, when they had been given their instructions.

The hologram of Ghetsis had flickered into existence, meeting their gaze. He was one of the few that could always see them. “N has escaped again,” he had said. “And the Grunts have been next to useless. I need you three to find him.” Emen stood straighter. "We will not disappoint you, Lord Ghetsis." Then it had shut back off, the message deleting itself, as was common in his messages.

He had wondered a bit at the last command, but he knew he could not question those higher than him, especially his leader. But the thought still lingered as he flew through the trees.

A grey wall appeared through the leaves, signaling the destination ahead. A building rose up in front of them. But this was exactly where they knew they would enter. He steadied his will, and leaped.

The building flew downwards as the wind whipped around him, his hair lashing in the air. The wall began to rise again, and he adjusted his fall to land atop the edifice. The others landed simultaneously, capes flaring up as they landed with almost catlike grace. Triumph flickered through Zek’s mind, as he had always been the slowest in his leaps. But it was not time to celebrate, or even grin. They had work to do.

Zek’s eyes scanned over Accumula Town. The building they stood upon was a perfect vantage point, it let them see most of the town at once. And few would look up to see them.

Many people and Pokémon wandered about, some rushing to get to whatever. A Purrloin sat cleaning itself near a small shop. But there was no sign of--

A small bit of green caught his eye. He quickly turned his head, focusing on it as it disappeared into an alley. Gotcha. He glanced towards his brothers, catching their attention. He nodded and pointed in the direction N had gone.

They took off, leaping from one building to the next, careful not to let their shadows fall over their target. They stopped, close, but not close enough to be noticed.

Emen stood straighter, and a small silver disc gleamed in his hand. The tracker was barely bigger than a bottle cap, covered mostly by a small red light. He pressed the light, activating it, and then threw it, the disc slicing through the air like a Frisbee. It curved a bit and landed, clinging to a wall a few yards away. N glanced around as it clinked, but did not seem to notice it.

Done, Zek thought. The tracker would send a signal back, showing where they saw N last. And they would catch him with almost no trouble, as their target’s best defense was hiding. Their job was complete. The Shadows leaped away across the rooftops.
 
Unlock - (Chapter 2: Pain)

Chapter 2
Pain​

Zek stood with his brothers, leaning against the dark blue walls. Many people, mostly Grunts, passed in and out without a glance in their direction. Their dark outfits contrasted their blue Team crests, the lighting-bolt design of Team Plasma. The Grunts didn't bother to look for the Shadows, they didn't know they were there. They probably didn't even know the Triad had helped by setting the tracker. They were unseen, both physically and mentally.

Zek wanted to jump out at someone, to scare them. That wasn't unusual, he often did. But today it was especially hard to resist. He couldn't help it, he was bored. And that made the temptation greater.

“Let me go!!”

Zek immediately snapped out of his thoughts. He looked up as the door slid open and three people stepped in. Two were Grunts, who knew their names, but one he instantly recognized.

Zek's eyes flickered from N to the Grunts and back. Few outside of Team Plasma knew his name. Even fewer knew he had anything to do with Team Plasma. And fewer still knew how lowly he was treated.

N struggled against his captives, thrashing fiercely in an effort to free himself. He was trapped, a thick metal band around his waist, arms pinned against his sides. A Liepard, probably one of the Grunts', stood next to him, snarling threateningly. N looked painfully at the Liepard, then at the Grunts. “You despicable people.” N's glare seemed to burn with flame, his voice quiet yet fierce. A Grunt scoffed at him. "Save your breath. It won't help you here. This time, you won't escape us." The other Grunt just smirked as they took N down the hallway.

Zek watched them go, half dragging N as he resisted. He felt a pang of shame.

What?! He quickly wiped it away. He shouldn't be ashamed. He had obeyed orders, as he should. N was held captive for a reason. Lord Ghetsis knew what he was doing. N deserved it. N's imprisonment... It was necessary.

It needed to happen, right?

Then why did he feel such sorrow?

~~​

Zek looked at the stars, pinpoints of light in the black wool of the sky. They were bright tonight, more noticeable away from the lights of a city. Zek tried to focus on their beauty, on the leaves rustling in the wind, on the cool night air, anything.

Anything but thinking of N.

As much as he had tried to shake it, the thought wouldn't go away. The image of that thin form, forced against his will, his pale green hair whipping in the air as he tried to free himself. It tore at his mind, as if N himself were there, pleading to him. No. There was nothing wrong with that. Lord Ghetsis knows what he’s doing, always. N just doesn't understand. That was what he tried to convince himself, over and over. But it didn't work.

He glanced at his brothers. Emen was standing with his eyes closed, as if he was listening to the universe. Syrco was sitting against a tree, most likely thinking of ways to describe everything. That was one of his odd quirks. But Emen… as long as Zek had known him, he’d never been able to tell what was in that mind. He was like a stone wall, unassailable and opaque.

As the stars blinked and glimmered back at him, they reflected in his gray eyes. The thought came back, N's cry ringing over and over in his mind. He looked down. He tried to resist, but... he knew. He knew what he had to do. He had to see what had happened to N. Where they were keeping him.

Zek stood, not meeting his brothers’ eyes. “…I’ll be back.” He bounded away into the night, not wanting to wait for a response. He feared what they might say.
 
RE: Unlock - (Chapter 3: Caged)

Chapter 3:
Caged​

Two Grunts stood, guarding the door. There was no light but the moon around them. They seemed a bit bored, looking half-asleep in the late night. One kept messing with his brown hair, the other just fiddling with something in his pocket. Zek stood in the shadows, watching them. This must be where N is kept.

He picked up a small stone. This will never work. It's the oldest trick in the book. But it's worth a try. He tossed it a few feet behind him.

The Grunts snapped to attention. They stared in the direction of the stone. One of them whispered. "Did you hear that?" The other nodded. He stood straighter, glaring fiercely. "Show yourself!"

Not likely. Zek watched them. They still aren't leaving the door. Of course the stone didn't work. I'll need a different idea. He glanced around, then leaped, landing on top of the building. He looked down at the Grunts. What would make them leave? He closed his eyes. The Grunts probably would only come if they thought whatever it made the noise is serious. What would-? He stopped his thought, wanting to slap himself. Of course! This would.

He took out a PokéBall, looking at it. Its smooth surface gleamed in the moonlight. Bisharp would make more noise, but you would be able to hide faster. I need that more. He held it to his face, whispering as quietly as he could to it.

"Larvesta. I need you to make as much noise as possible without giving yourself away. Get these two people to follow you, and then lead them as far away as possible." He stopped, then quickly added, "Don't be seen. And don't come out until the PokéBall hits the ground." Hoping the Pokémon understood, he stood and threw the PokéBall to over the buildings, watching it fall behind the closest one.

A small click sounded, and then the bursting sound of an opening PokéBall.

The first Grunt's eyes widened. "That was a PokéBall!" The second's glare sharpened. "It must be an enemy. Go check it out." he first looked at him. "Why don't you-" he started, but one look from the other silenced him. He started jogging off in Larvesta's direction.

A large metallic clang sounded, followed by a crash. The Grunt skidded to a stop. "What the.." Several more thuds and crashes rang out in the night. What is it doing, knocking over trash cans?Zek wondered.Whatever, it's working. The Grunt stiffened, eyes wide in fear. "I-it must be huge!! A Haxorus?!" Zek stifled a laugh.

"A Haxorus?!" the other said in disbelief. He had not moved from the door. Come on. You know he couldn't take on a Haxorus by himself. Zek tried to will the other to follow. The Grunt hesitated, then ran over to his comrade.

Another crash resounded through the air. The first Grunt pointed. "There! It's going that way!!" The two took off after Larvesta. Zek nodded. Perfect. He dropped down off of the roof, and turned towards the door.

~~​

He opened the door as quietly as he could, stepping silently into the room. The room was dark, dark as a void, with black iron bars blocking half of it. Only a small window brought light into the room. Its small ray of light shone down upon a curled form, his face buried in his knees. N's green hair fell over his back, shining in the moonlight. His position gave a message of hopelessness, of bitter defeat.

He was giving up.

He had been taken against his will again. It must have been the fifth time he’d been recaptured. And he sorrow he conveyed showed that this time, he knew... he wouldn't escape.

Zek's heart was filled with sadness. No. He shut his eyes tight. Don't pity him. This imprisonment is necessary.

But the longer Zek stood there, the less reasonable it seemed.

Go. You've seen him. That's all you came for. But his legs wouldn't move.

This... it's wrong. Zek felt his invisibility drop, but did nothing to bring it back. I need to do this. He winced, shaking his head. No, it would be against Ghetsis. He opened his eyes for a split second, quickly shutting them again when they fell upon N. This is wrong. His thoughts conflicted. He stepped forward and grasped the door before he could stop himself.

N raised his head as a creak sounded the bars moving. Zek refused to look him in the eyes as he held the cell door open. Zek's voice came through clenched teeth, unseen behind his mask.

“…go.”

N's face was confused, and wary. “What?”

He must think it's a trick. Why can't he just go? Zek tensed, gripping the door so tightly his hands ached. “Go. While you still have the chance. They’ll be back any second.” LISTEN to me. I'm NOT tricking you. Go!

N's eyes flickered between trust and mistrust, but he said no more, slowly rising and walking towards the open door. His eyes were on Zek the whole time, watching him carefully, warily. Zek's stress grew. Too slowly... Go faster... You’re running out of time... But he kept his mouth clenched shut.

Only a few steps remained. But N stopped at the door. Zek wanted to scream at him. No!! What are you doing?!

N looked at Zek, tears glistening in his eyes. But a smile was upon his face. His gratitude was more than simple words could convey.

“Thank you,” he whispered. His eyes lingered on Zek for a last moment, but then he turned and fled, disappearing into the night.
 
I never thought underlining a work could be really effective because usually people don't know how to, but you did a great job in showing how one of his conflicting thoughts overcame the other. Zek seems to be growing toward the positive side, which is always the more familiar side to turn.

I could also excellently picture the grunt tricking, so props to you on that. It was pretty funny to think of since we all know how stupid the grunts can be.

There isn't much I can tell you to improve at this point in your story, but there was a stray [/i] somewhere in there that you could remove. Otherwise, it was very good to read and I enjoyed it. Keep up the great writing, I can't wait to read more.
 
Turtwig said:
I never thought underlining a work could be really effective because usually people don't know how to, but you did a great job in showing how one of his conflicting thoughts overcame the other. Zek seems to be growing toward the positive side, which is always the more familiar side to turn.

I could also excellently picture the grunt tricking, so props to you on that. It was pretty funny to think of since we all know how stupid the grunts can be.

There isn't much I can tell you to improve at this point in your story, but there was a stray [/i] somewhere in there that you could remove. Otherwise, it was very good to read and I enjoyed it. Keep up the great writing, I can't wait to read more.
Click to expand...

Once again, your compliments bring me to tears...
I am honored that my works can bring joy, for that is what I strive for in life. I seek to give others pleasure, and hearing that I have done so... I cannot express how it makes me feel.
Thank you so much for the support, and I hope the chapters to come will bring you just as much happiness.
 
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