Writing To be nammed later....

[PokemonRanger105]

I think I will try this story thing. Anyway tell me any errors I made because I am sure there is a lot.


Prologue

In the dark unknown region of space there live two monsters of great power. They are said to be able to bend time and space. In times of old these two creatures ruled the earth and kept the humans under control. There was peace and prosperity through out the land now called earth until he appeared. Some say he crawled out of a black hole, others think he is the son of the devil, but it doesn’t really matter where he came from. They called him “the dark lord”. The dark lord struck the human race with a great disease forcing them into eternal sleep. The two monsters would have helped, but they were now fighting among themselves. A few humans were immune to the disease while others where able to avoid the dark lord. Some aliened themselves with one of the monsters. Others captured monsters of their own to try to take down the dark lord. But most of all they were all fighting to survive. This is their story.

 

[Spirit Of Mew]

RE: To be nammed later....

Hm... Not enough to know if I like it yet. It's looking good. As ffor the errors I can't really help there.

 

[PokemonRanger105]

RE: To be nammed later....

Maria

I walked along the ruins of what was once New York. The monsters of time and space and everything was out of sorts. As I looked across the fallen stone I saw a head with spikes on it. The statue of liberty had fallen. I could see time and space pockets everywhere. There were little rips in reality that if you stepped into it

 

[Lenny]

RE: To be nammed later....

It isn't bad. I'm guessing Maria is one of the main characters.

Well, for errors, there are many spelling errors such as through out...that is usually said as one word, but you can say it as two words. Also, in the first sentence live should be lived instead. Live doesn't make any sense. Lived does...

Other than that, it was fine.

 

[PokemonRanger105]

RE: To be nammed later....

my chapter seems like it deleted half of itself so here it is

Maria

I walked along the ruins of what was once New York. The monsters of time and space and everything was out of sorts. As I looked across the fallen stone I saw a head with spikes on it. The statue of liberty had fallen. I could see time and space pockets everywhere. There were little rips in reality that if you stepped into it…..we really didn’t know what they did. Overhead I saw a flying pokemon soaring through the sky I smiled when I remembered my pikachu could easily beat it, but then my smiled turned to a frown as I remembered what happen….**Flash Back**


I beam of blue light broke through the apartment I was sleeping in. I woke with a start as my pikachu jumped on my shoulder. The whole building was shaking as I saw another beam break part of the building in front of me. “Ah!” I screamed and I jumped over the gap in the building. I ran across the hall and slid down the railing to a lower floor. Just as a beam barely missed my head. We ran out side just as the building fell over. I saw two huge pokemon fighting and one kept shooting the pink one and missing. I ran across the ruin stricken ground, but pikachu just stood still. “Pikachu, come on!” I yelled. He ignored me and shot the blue one with a thunder bolt. It harmlessly bounced off it, but it drew its attention to pikachu. I ducked behind a rock. The blue thing hit it something and it looked like the area around pikachu was spinning. Then pikachu just disappeared and the two monsters went back to their fight. I stayed hidden for hours and when they finally left across the ocean I got up and walked along the ruins of what was once New York……

 

[Lenny]

RE: To be nammed later....

You might have just used Quick Edit which can be fatal. Use Full Edit, that is guaranteed to not destroy your whole post

 

[Thebane]

RE: To be nammed later....

it's pretty good but i agree with pokelen there are a lot of spelling errors