Writing The Writing Contest - Round 1 has started!!! Ends in 2 days! 2 competitor spaces left!

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Umm...

Plot: /10
How well set out: /10
Is it original: /10
Is it interesting: /10
Total: 10+10+10+10= /40

How do you get 30?
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Sign up now! 1 competitor and 1 judge spaces left!

Oh yeah, I didn't spot that. Thanks nabby.

I can't wait for the contest to start. By tommorow, if noone signs up, this competition will start no matter what (a bit harsh).
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Sign up now! 1 competitor and 1 judge spaces left!

42 chocolate, OK, you are a judge and I have also second thoughts, the round has changed slightly.
 
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since noone looks like they one to enter, the competition starts... now!
 
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grasspokemonmaster said:
Round 1: Theme, Pokemon.
Make a new chapter for the story below. The winning chapter will go into my story. It must be about Sprout Tower!!!

Chapter 1 - Errands To Cherrygrove
"Chikorita!" cried Crystal.
"Cyndaquil!" shouted Gold.
Both Gold and Crystal had chosen their Pokemon and were ready to battle. Cyndaquil had the type advantage but as seen on Gold's TV, the Pokemon with the best variety of attacks usually won.
"Cyndaquil, use Smokescreen," said Gold.
A cloud of black smoke filled the labaratory and Crystal gasped. They suddenly both had remembered that they were still in Professor Elm's lab and not on the streets of New Bark Town. As quick as a flash, a jolt of red and black shot through the window. Gold thought he saw a young boy with long hair. Quicker than ever, the thief snatched the remaining PokeBall containing Totodile and jumped back out of the window.

Gold blinked. No, it wasn't anybody. Was he just seeing things?
"Chikorita, use Magical Leaf!" shouted Crystal as Gold lost his concentration.
Gold turned round and saw Chikorita release a floating leaf and entangle onto Cyndaquil. Cyndaquil was trapped! Immobilised by the powerful attack, Cyndaquil dropped down, knocked out. Gold sighed. He wasn't that good after all.

Gold finally reached Cherrygrove Town. Cherrygrove Town was a town not much bigger than New Bark but was big enough to hold a PokeMart and Pokemon Centre. Gold knew better than taking a rest here, even to heal his Pokemon. He was running an errand.
"Come on Gold," he urged himself.

"Well, well, what is your name again?" asked the old man, studying and gazing at Gold for the 4th time.
"Uh, Gold," replied Gold.
"Ahh... nice to meet you, Gold," said the old man back.
The old man wore a lab coat and had glasses. He also had grey hair.
"I'm Professor Oak of the Kanto region," he said. "Pleased to meet you."
Gold stuttered. His hero! The great Professor Oak. The one he always wanted to meet.
"Well, I've got an appointment with Mary at Goldenrod City," said Oak. "Take this PokeDex and 5 PokeBalls. That should help, right?"
Then the renowned professor walked out of the door and revealed behind him, the owner of the house who was sitting on a chair - Mr. Pokemon.
"Whoops! I'm sorry but you came here for nothing. You were running an errand for Elm right?" he asked.
Gold nodded.
"Then Crystal reached here before you and took it."
Gold's eyes opened wide with terror.
"Don't worry, I think it was a mysterious Pokemon from Johto. The daycare people - Crystal's parents - said that it was born from a Togetic that strangely, came from Kanto rather than here."
Gold nodded again, then repeatedly and then left the room. Mr. Pokemon bowed and uttered something under his breath.
What did he mutter? thought Gold.

"Gold," said Elm breathlessly through the PokeGear. "Crystal and me saw this person in black and red. A smokescreen. He stole Totodile."
Gold gasped. New Bark Town was supposed to be safe.
"He's approaching Cherrygrove at any moment now," added Crystal.
Gold was right. He had a vision earlier. Gold ran off towards New Bark Town.
Click to expand...

Chapter 2 - New paths are always sweet

As Gold was running to Newbark Town, the horizon of it could be seen. His head sparkled like a night star but then came the thought of danger while at Mr. Pokemon's house. He bumped into Crystal:
''Whoa Gold, you shocked me there! How are things going on your journey?'' Crystal asked.
''Well, not the best, remember when we battled and that thief came? He seemed like a pretty shady guy.'' As Gold wondered deeply.
''Sure but I've got a journey ahead of me! And that won't stop me!'' Crystal replied.
''You know what? You're right, I'm ready to rock the path!'' Gold shouted in excitement.
Gold said his byes to Crystal and got to Newbark Town. Outside the lab, he accidentally dropped his Pokedex.
''Whoopsy, gotta be more careful!'' He commented to himself.
Professor Elm heard the commotion and stepped out.
''Ah Gold! You know the thief? It has been answered by the police that an Tododile was stolen! Happen to know his name?'' Elm asked.
''Come to think of it I know! He lives here in Newbark, his name is Silver.'' Gold answered in sudden mystery.
''Great, I'll go tell the police! Wierd huh, never seen the kid about in these areas.'' Elm replied.
Gold was told by Elm to go to see his Mom, she was inside. She gave Gold an Amultet Coin for good luck.
''Here honey, I want you to have this. Its for good luck and it belonged to my grandfather when he became a new trainer here.'' Mom commanded.
''Thanks Mom! This will sure help me.'' Gold remarked.

Gold again ran onto Route 29. He bumbed into shady Silver.
''Mind you chump! Take it your a trainer, I'll stomp you with my Pokemon!'' Silver screamed in anger.
''You want a battle you got one!'' Gold boasted back.
''This will be easy...'' Gold whispered.
A sudden dramatic spirit came to the battle.
''Go get them, Tododile!'' Silver commanded.
''Lets go, Cyndaquil!'' Gold cried.
The battle lasted a few minutes until Cyndaquil used a sudden Rollout against Tododile. Gold won the battle!
''That win was a fluke, next time I see you you won't be so lucky.'' Silver said as he suddenly disappeared.
Gold was overjoyed with the win, he went to Cherrygrove City to heal up. There he saw a girl who had some charms...
''Hey, you're Gold right''? The girl said in excitement.
''Yeah...'' Gold said nervously.
''Im Kotone, I went to kindergarten with you, pleased to see you again!''
''Oh yeah! Hey, I like your Marill! Good to meet you!'' Gold remembered still nervous.
''Thanks, your Cyndaquil is a nice Pokemon too. Tell me, you in contests or a trainer? Im a co-ordinator.'' Kotone asked.
''A trainer, Im more a physical battling guy. I gotta go but see you again on the road!'' Gold said.
''Ok then, see you!'' Kotone replied.

Gold was walking out of the Pokemon Center onto Route 30 for Voilet City. He was thinking: ''Man that Kotone girl is hot!'' Good looks wasn't his #1 priority though, being a Pokemon master is. Thus, we walks to the next chapter of his Pokemon trainer career...
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Sign up now! 2 competitor and 0 judge spaces left!

I changed it into the total of 50.

Plot: 4/10 - Fairly interesting, marks a deduced for not being about Sprout Tower
How well set out: 10/10 - Good
Is it original: 8/10 - Routes are not that original
Is it interesting: 5/10 - Walking and battling
Spelling and grammar: 7/10 - Minor mistakes
Total: 34/50
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Sign up now! 2 competitor and 0 judge spaces left!

grasspokemonmaster said:
I changed it into the total of 50.

Plot: 4/10 - Fairly interesting, marks a deduced for not being about Sprout Tower
How well set out: 10/10 - Good
Is it original: 8/10 - Routes are not that original
Is it interesting: 5/10 - Walking and battling
Spelling and grammar: 7/10 - Minor mistakes
Total: 34/50
Click to expand...

Sorry if you wanted Sprout Tower in but I haven't got to Voilet City yet... :p
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Sign up now! 2 competitor and 0 judge spaces left!

Well, raichupika, it's OK. I also expected the chapter to be slightly longer.
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Round 1 has started!!! 2 competitor spaces left!

Plot: 7/10 (Could be more planned, not about Sprout Tower)
How well set out: 8/10 (Right now it's a bit dull. Put in some rising action, exposition, etc.)
Is it original: 9/10 (Meh.... it's just like the games.)
Is it interesting: 6/10 (I don't know... I just wasn't captivated by this chapter.)
Spelling and grammar: 8/10 (Some minor mistakes... Tododile is spelled "Totodile," by the way.)
Total: 38/50
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Round 1 has started!!! 2 competitor spaces left!

Plot: 7.5/10 Decent, well developing.

How well set out: 5/10 WAY to fast. The battle was like... 2 lines. The meeting with Kotone was like... 5. They meet, they say hi, they leave.

Is it original: 7/10 You could have done better, that was (as 42 said) a lot like the games.

Is it interesting: 6/10 Not bad, not amazing, not much drama. Sorry I wasn't that "into" this chapter.

Spelling and grammar: 8.5/10 Some of what the characters said were a bit off, for instance:
Gold again ran onto Route 29. He bumbed into shady Silver.
''Mind you chump! Take it your a trainer, I'll stomp you with my Pokemon!'' Silver screamed in anger.
''You want a battle you got one!'' Gold boasted back.

Boasting about accepting a battle? IDK about that...

Total: 34/50
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Round 1 has started!!! Ends next week! 2 competitor spaces left!

Well, you got just over 2/3 of the marks so that must be good.

I'm sorry to say that I had to deduct two more points when I re-read the story to have more errors than I thought.

104/150. Still good score, raichupika.
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Round 1 has started!!! Ends next week! 2 competitor spaces left!

My entry for your competition:


Chapter Two: Confrontation

Gold made his way to New Bark Town. If the thief was approaching Cherrygrove City, Gold would be able to stop him by heading to New Bark Town! Despite being a somewhat obvious assessment, Gold was completely right; just now, a person was running towards him. It was a young man, dressed in the accusatory colors of red and black. He tried to pass Gold, but Gold blocked his path.
"You stole a Pokemon from Professor Elm! Give it back now!". Gold shouted.
The thief grumbled.
"What are you going to do, kid? You think you can stop me?". As he said this, Gold saw that he was pulling a Poke Ball from his belt.
"I will do what I can; if that means I have to battle you, then so be it!". Gold pulled the Poke Ball containing Cyndaquil from his waist. As he did so, he remembered what had happened earlier: he had been defeated by Crystal badly; despite being at a type advantage, he had lost quickly. Could he really stop this cunning wrongdoer?
"I'm Silver," the thief said, "and if I have to defeat you here and now, then I swear to you that I will crush you!". He threw the Poke Ball into the air. From it came a crocodile-like Pokemon. It cried out, "Totototodile!".
"You ready for this, trainer?", Silver question of Gold.
"I'm ready for anything!", shouted Gold. And with that, he released his Cyndaquil, and he braced himself for battle.

The air was still, as if it were a coming before a great storm. The two trainers eyed each other, waiting for the other to make a move. Silver seemed the more inclined to act first, and Gold anticipated that an opening blitz was coming.
"Totodile, use Bite!", Silver commanded. Totodile ran towards Cyndaquil, ready to clench its fangs round the opposing Pokemon's neck.
"Quick, Cyndaquil, dodge it and use Smokescreen!", Gold cried. At the moment before Totodile was about to strike, Cyndaquil swerved sideways and evaded the attack successfully. As it did so, the flames on its back broiled and a great smoky haze had been generated, confusing both Silver and the affected Pokemon, Totodile. Gold capitalized upon this moment.
"Cyndaquil, use Tackle at full power!", he shouted. Cyndaquil did as bidden, and when the smoke had barely cleared enough to see Totodile's location, Cyndaquil rammed into the Water Pokemon. Dazed and confused, Totodile was knocked to the ground.
"Now, Totodile, Water Gun!", Silver commanded. Totodile did its best, but being dazed from the opening hit, its stream of water missed by a few inches. The battle had begun, and Gold was leading by a hit. The type advantage was clearly on Silver's side, but that wasn't stopping Gold.
"Cyndaquil, Ember!", Gold yelled.
"Dodge, Totodile!", Silver commanded. The battle was not swaying in either player's favor. Both Pokemon were firing volleys of attacks at the other, and both Pokemon were close to fainting. The battle hung on whoever was able to strike first. The trainers commanded their respective Pokemon with fervor, and it took long before a strike was made. Having never seen battle before, Totodile was nearing exhaustion much faster than Gold's Pokemon, Cyndaquil. Gold awaited the proper moment for his strike. Suddenly, Totodile tripped, and it fell over.
"Now, Cyndaquil, make me proud with Ember!". Cyndaquil shot a bolt of flame at Totodile, and Totodile cried in pain from the burning flame. It fainted from being tired, and the battle was won.

Silver returned his Pokemon into its Poke Ball.
"You got lucky, punk!", he cried, "next time, we'll see who's better!".
"I win, so hand over your Pokemon that you stole!", Gold cried.
"I'm afraid I can't do that," Silver said, "I've got other matters to attend to... perhaps we will see each other again? But alas, here I am wasting my time. I will be off now!". Just then, Silver threw a small round object at Gold. That was the last thing Gold saw until he drifted off into a forced sleep, and the last thing he heard was the nightmarish laugh of the thief, Silver.

"Gold... Gold!?!", Professor Elm cried. Gold had been moved to Professor Oak's lab.
"Ah, Gold, you're awake!", Professor Elm exclaimed.
"What happened?", Gold asked.
"You were knocked out by a sleeping gas released by Silver," Professor Elm explained.
"So, Silver...", Gold hesitantly asked, "...Silver, he got away?".
"Yes," Professor Elm said, "but don't worry, it's nothing. You did your best, and that is what matters!".
"I swear to you, Professor," Gold began to exclaim, "I will find Silver...and return Totodile to its rightful owner!".
"I'm sure you will, Gold. But until then, you need to rest up. A big journey is ahead of you, and you'll have to be the very best you can be to take it on!".

And so, Gold prepared himself to journey through the region of Johto with his new Pokemon, Cyndaquil; to challenge Gym Leaders and collect Gym Badges; to finally defeat Silver for once and all and reclaim Totodile.
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Round 1 has started!!! Ends next week! 2 competitor spaces

PokeChamp said:
My entry for your competition:


Chapter Two: Confrontation

Gold made his way to New Bark Town. If the thief was approaching Cherrygrove City, Gold would be able to stop him by heading to New Bark Town! Despite being a somewhat obvious assessment, Gold was completely right; just now, a person was running towards him. It was a young man, dressed in the accusatory colors of red and black. He tried to pass Gold, but Gold blocked his path.
"You stole a Pokemon from Professor Elm! Give it back now!". Gold shouted.
The thief grumbled.
"What are you going to do, kid? You think you can stop me?". As he said this, Gold saw that he was pulling a Poke Ball from his belt.
"I will do what I can; if that means I have to battle you, then so be it!". Gold pulled the Poke Ball containing Cyndaquil from his waist. As he did so, he remembered what had happened earlier: he had been defeated by Crystal badly; despite being at a type advantage, he had lost quickly. Could he really stop this cunning wrongdoer?
"I'm Silver," the thief said, "and if I have to defeat you here and now, then I swear to you that I will crush you!". He threw the Poke Ball into the air. From it came a crocodile-like Pokemon. It cried out, "Totototodile!".
"You ready for this, trainer?", Silver question of Gold.
"I'm ready for anything!", shouted Gold. And with that, he released his Cyndaquil, and he braced himself for battle.

The air was still, as if it were a coming before a great storm. The two trainers eyed each other, waiting for the other to make a move. Silver seemed the more inclined to act first, and Gold anticipated that an opening blitz was coming.
"Totodile, use Bite!", Silver commanded. Totodile ran towards Cyndaquil, ready to clench its fangs round the opposing Pokemon's neck.
"Quick, Cyndaquil, dodge it and use Smokescreen!", Gold cried. At the moment before Totodile was about to strike, Cyndaquil swerved sideways and evaded the attack successfully. As it did so, the flames on its back broiled and a great smoky haze had been generated, confusing both Silver and the affected Pokemon, Totodile. Gold capitalized upon this moment.
"Cyndaquil, use Tackle at full power!", he shouted. Cyndaquil did as bidden, and when the smoke had barely cleared enough to see Totodile's location, Cyndaquil rammed into the Water Pokemon. Dazed and confused, Totodile was knocked to the ground.
"Now, Totodile, Water Gun!", Silver commanded. Totodile did its best, but being dazed from the opening hit, its stream of water missed by a few inches. The battle had begun, and Gold was leading by a hit. The type advantage was clearly on Silver's side, but that wasn't stopping Gold.
"Cyndaquil, Ember!", Gold yelled.
"Dodge, Totodile!", Silver commanded. The battle was not swaying in either player's favor. Both Pokemon were firing volleys of attacks at the other, and both Pokemon were close to fainting. The battle hung on whoever was able to strike first. The trainers commanded their respective Pokemon with fervor, and it took long before a strike was made. Having never seen battle before, Totodile was nearing exhaustion much faster than Gold's Pokemon, Cyndaquil. Gold awaited the proper moment for his strike. Suddenly, Totodile tripped, and it fell over.
"Now, Cyndaquil, make me proud with Ember!". Cyndaquil shot a bolt of flame at Totodile, and Totodile cried in pain from the burning flame. It fainted from being tired, and the battle was won.

Silver returned his Pokemon into its Poke Ball.
"You got lucky, punk!", he cried, "next time, we'll see who's better!".
"I win, so hand over your Pokemon that you stole!", Gold cried.
"I'm afraid I can't do that," Silver said, "I've got other matters to attend to... perhaps we will see each other again? But alas, here I am wasting my time. I will be off now!". Just then, Silver threw a small round object at Gold. That was the last thing Gold saw until he drifted off into a forced sleep, and the last thing he heard was the nightmarish laugh of the thief, Silver.

"Gold... Gold!?!", Professor Elm cried. Gold had been moved to Professor Oak's lab.
"Ah, Gold, you're awake!", Professor Elm exclaimed.
"What happened?", Gold asked.
"You were knocked out by a sleeping gas released by Silver," Professor Elm explained.
"So, Silver...", Gold hesitantly asked, "...Silver, he got away?".
"Yes," Professor Elm said, "but don't worry, it's nothing. You did your best, and that is what matters!".
"I swear to you, Professor," Gold began to exclaim, "I will find Silver...and return Totodile to its rightful owner!".
"I'm sure you will, Gold. But until then, you need to rest up. A big journey is ahead of you, and you'll have to be the very best you can be to take it on!".

And so, Gold prepared himself to journey through the region of Johto with his new Pokemon, Cyndaquil; to challenge Gym Leaders and collect Gym Badges; to finally defeat Silver for once and all and reclaim Totodile.
Click to expand...

Im scared, Ive got some tough opponents!
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Round 1 has started!!! Ends next week! 2 competitor spaces left!

No Sprout Tower... *sighs*

Plot: 7/10 Well done, but no Sprout Tower.
How well set out: 8.5/10 Good describing on the battle, good pacing.
Is it original: 8.5/10 Very good.
Is it interesting: 9/10 Exciting, of course, at this point, it's hard to make anything very interesting.
Spelling and grammar: 9.5/10 Perfect as far as I can see, only reason you don't get a 10 is no one's grammar and spelling is perfect.
Total: 42.5/50
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Round 1 has started!!! Ends next week! 2 competitor spaces left!

Plot: 8/10 - Good story but where is Sprout Tower???
How well set out: 10/10 - Nicely set out
Is it original: 9/10 - Nearly perfectly
Is it interesting: 7/10 - You could make it better
Spelling and grammar: 10/10 I think it's perfect
Total: 44/50 - Very well done, PokeChamp!
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Round 1 has started!!! Ends in 4 days! 2 competitor spaces left!

I'm glad someone realizes I have perfect spelling/grammar. :p

But in all seriousness, the reason I didn't include Sprout Tower was because it didn't chink for a chapter two. It didn't feel right, and I just couldn't go on with it. So I nuked it. I did what I felt was good for a chapter two, and hopefully, that will take me to the top.
 
RE: The Writing Contest - Round 1 has started!!! Ends in 4 days! 2 competitor spaces left!

PokeChamp said:
I'm glad someone realizes I have perfect spelling/grammar. :p
Click to expand...
Really? I spotted one off the dot. :p

PokeChamp said:
Despite being a somewhat obvious assessment, Gold was completely right[.]
Click to expand...
Think about the sentence for a bit before you tell me it's perfectly fine (which is not when you consider all parts of it).
 
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