Writing The original Story of Pokebeach.

Omnigross_98

^ Is win.
Member
My first fic.

THE ORIGINAL STORY OF POKEBEACH

PROLOUGE

Where do I begin ? Lets tell you the base of pokebeach.

Pokebeach was a large community of pokemon fans situated near a lovely beach.
In the center of the community, there was a large palace, made of white granite, which glinted royally in the sunlight. It is here that the administrator of the community, Water Pokemon Master lived. His loyal Super Moderators and Moderators lived near the palace in large 3- story buildings and all the councils ( Clan, Trade, etc.) resided near them.

After the rows of houses for the council members, the houses of the normal members and finally, at the very outskirts of the city, the temporarily banned members. There is the Celadon Mart, where you can request banners, avatars and a lot more. The hottest shops here are owned by Soul Seeker, George2FRESH, Light Venasaur and PIPLUP. There is also the Writing Corner, where people can post fan-fics.

There is the My player corner, where people can trade pokemon via Wi-Fi connection.

There is the Pokebeach News Capsules, where news can be discussed, there is the Site Discussion, where ideas for the site can be discussed and the Welcome to the Beach, where people can introduce themselves to the members of the beach.

Then there is the trading corner, where members can trade pokemon cards, the deck garage where members can get help on their decks, the general TCG discussion, the Card combos and strategies, the TCG rules questions, the Organised play and the Redshark battle arena.

There is also the Pokemon Trading Corner, the Pokemon battle arena, the Diamond, Pearl and Platinum discussion and the pokemon Gaming discussion.

And last, but not least, there is the Game corner, the Clans and Clubs, the Fan Creations, the Real World Discussion, the Entertainment Talk and the General Pokemon Discussion.

This was the base of the Pokebeach.
 
Try not to say "there is at the begin of most of the paragraphs it sorta makes it sound like a list xD
 
You listed. Try not to list and instead just describe to us what it was.
 
I hva to agree with PMJ it was very boring although it is a very good idea and quite unique :D keep going, yea keep it up
 
I agree with DarkMarc; this has the right idea but is boring. You listed things, and you weren't giving much description. I mean like, where are these located?
 
Quite a boring start. You listed things, yes, yes. But its a Prologue. I didn't expect anything so great, I just hoped it wouldn't have been a copy of my story *looks at one of the forum members*, but yeah, this better be a comedy :>
 
Yes, sorry. The Prologue is quite boring. But as the story progresses, it slowly gets more interesting.

Also remember, this is my first fic.

I am listing the different forums of Pokebeach and their uses.
 
Lenny said:
Quite a boring start. You listed things, yes, yes. But its a Prologue. I didn't expect anything so great, I just hoped it wouldn't have been a copy of my story *looks at one of the forum members*, but yeah, this better be a comedy :>

Lol silly liar.

BTW, you described things less and less as it went along. Although, I think the main reason on why it's boring is probably because nothing really happens. Still, looking forward to chapter 1. ^_^
 
~Magma King~ said:
Lenny said:
Quite a boring start. You listed things, yes, yes. But its a Prologue. I didn't expect anything so great, I just hoped it wouldn't have been a copy of my story *looks at one of the forum members*, but yeah, this better be a comedy :>

Lol silly liar.

BTW, you described things less and less as it went along. Although, I think the main reason on why it's boring is probably because nothing really happens. Still, looking forward to chapter 1. ^_^

xD, you know I'm kidding. That's in the past. But yeah, nothing did really happen, I guess its because it was the Prologue, but doesn't the prologue help the story start off? This doesn't even give a small glimpse about what the story is. For all we know this story could be about WPM's journey to creating the forums. The Prologue is just...nothing.
 
ShaminSky said:
I agree with DarkMarc; this has the right idea but is boring. You listed things, and you weren't giving much description. I mean like, where are these located?
Whoa I said something right, cool when do you think chapter 1 will be up, don't be like me and only do the prolouge, it lets people down man!
 
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