Writing the adventures of justin

delta gym leader

team black ice is king!!
Member
chapter 1

[whoah][gets up from sleeping]
"finnaly"!!
"its my birthday"!!
"i hope mom buys me a pokemon"~!!
so he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a shower. he leaves the bathroom and runs down the stairs.he accidently trips.[ouch]!! "im bleeding from my nose"!![rrg]so his mom comes and patches up his nose.happy birthday son~!"my day is going horrible mom,im not in a good mood"."but justin,i got you your present."
[sighs]"great,another lousy present"."how dare you justin,i spent alot of money on this present and you havent opened it and r already neglecting it"?[mom walks out crying]"damn,im a real jerk".[goes over to present"[walks over to present]"rip,rip"."whut the f***"?"its 5 pokeballs"!!"damn,i feel like a big jerk,i screamed at my mom and she got me the best present in the world"..."im gona rite her a note"..[rites note in 23 minutes]"ok srry mom,but im out to catch pokemon"..
[walks outside]"hey loser"!![loks over at neighboors house]"watcha doin gettin ready to go eat sum dust"?"theres no way youl catch more pokemon than me"..."how did u no that i got pokeballs"?
"your mom told me last nite in bed"..."why you son of a gun"!!
"ill bop you 1"!!"o please,ill give it to you hard just like i gave it to your mom"..."i cant take this"."im running away"!![runs as fast as he can,rick[neighboor]says words but he didnt hear them clearly enough to understand them][he runs into forest]"man i hope i catch a pokemon if not im screwed,ill b the laughing stock of the block".
[bush rusles]"whos there"?"rrrrrr"."whos there'?"rrrrrrr....rar"!!
[pokemon jumps out of bushes]"oh snap,its a red electrike"
[bush rusltes on other side unoticed]"ok im gona catch you"!!
"rrrrr...rar"!!"now time to catch you partner"!![throws pokeball]
[electrike pops out without 1 movement]"rrrrr..rar"!!"man your a tough electrike arent you"!![throws another pokeball][electrike pops out without 1 movement]"man whuts with you"!!"get in the freakin ball"!!
[electrike uses spark]"aaaaaargaaaaa"[justin falls to the floor in pain]
[electrike uses bite]"aaaaaaaaaaa"[justin bleeds from arm severley]
"plz stop electrike"...'it hurts"...[electrike stops]"plz let me catch you"
"i will keep you as my handyman pokemon""you will b my friend"
[elecrike stares at justin with a hard look][electrike uses oudeor slueth]"slurp"[justin gets licked by electrike]"good electrike"[electrike smiles]"now electrike lets join...go pokebal"!![pokeball moves 1ce][pokeball moves twice][pokeball moves 3 times][pokeball stops][bing]
"yes...my first pokemon"!![man comes out of bushes]"THAT WAS A VERY GOOD BATTLE YOU HAD THERE".'thank you..and you are'?
"i am professor gates..and i was going to catch that shining electrike.."."shining"?"yes its a rare find to find a shining and you just did"."well thats cool"."well ill b off c u sumtime"[proffesor leaves]
'well now go electrike"!![electrike comes out of pokeball followed by a shine]"rarf,rarf"."hey,justin lets battle"[richard comes from the eleft of me]"fine il show you"!!
"lets battle"[me and richard say it at same time]...

let me no if i should keep riting and tell me your thoughts on it..
if you think its good i will make more...
 
here is chapter 2!!

"go electrike"!![shine comes from electrike]"go pidgeot"!![crooooo,pidgeot cries]"whut the heck did u to to your pokemon paint it"!"i cought it like that,how did u get such a good pokemon"!'PIDGEOT IS A 2ND STAGE POKEMON"!!"well thats whut u get when u r the best trainer in the world"!"now pidgeot steel wing"!!"electrike doge and use iron tail"![electrike didnt have enough time to dodge so he used iron tail][pidgeots steel wing overpowered electrikes iron tail,electrike went flying and hit a tree,he looks very weak and tired]'electrike"!!
"opidgeot finish him with hyper beam'![pidgeot powers up and lets the hyper beam go and it hits electrike direclty ding serious damage][electrike must have some broken bones and alot of scrapes and bruises]"ele"!!"pidgeot return"![pidgeot goes inside the pokeball]"u did more damage then u were supposed to,u hurt him on purpose"!"WELL IF U FALL U CANT BEAT THEM ALL THATS WHUT I SAY"."WHICH PROVES U SUCK"!!"LATER LOSER"![RICHARD WALKS AWAY]
"i gota get electrike to a center"!![i ran as fast as i could and made it to a center'"my electrike is hurt badly"!"WHUT HAPPENED TO IT?,it looks like its going to die"!!"plz help me"!
"i will but u will have to come back in 2 months as he is hurt severley and he is a shining pokemon so hell need alot of electricity to charge""its ok with me just save him"[chansey comes with a weely-thingy and takes him to ER]
"well ill have to go catch some other pokemon while im here"[walks back into forest]
[while walking through forest he encounters a cubone]
"a cubone"!!
"cubone,cubone"
"go pokeball"!![moves 1ce][moves twice][moves 3 times][stops moving][ding]"yes i cought a cubone"!!"show me watcha got cubone"![cubone comes out of pokeball]
"cubone bone club"!![cubone throws bone at tree][eggs fall from tree but dont crack]"eggs"
"eggs""oh no,not a nest of execute"!
[execute used barrage][cubone gets hit but doesnt look very damaged he still stands tall]
"cubone use bonemarang"![cubone throws bones at execute,execute look very hurt almost k'od]"go pokeball"![moves 1ce][moves twice][moves 3 times][stops moving][ding]
"yes i caught an execute"!!
[now walking toward the horizon on the beach]"well i wonder what what these next to months will b like"...

thats the end of chapter 2.
the 3rd chapter will take place after the 2 months have passed so expect new pokemon,new characters and new excitment!!
 
here is chapter !!

"well time to get electrike guys,"horsea"!"totodile"!"bagon"!"houndoar "!"sneasel "!come out now!![all pokemon come out from pokeballs]"now guys lets go get electrike"!!
[pokemon stare at justin wondering]"he was my first pokemon"..."you have never met him but you will"...[walk to pokemon center]"ding-dong"."hey nurse joy,is electrike ready"?
"yes he is actually,he overwent training so he would b stronger"."awsoeme"!
"electrike walks through door"."electrike"![electrike runs toward justin][the other pokemon smile]"now electrike these r your other friends,executor,marowak,kingler,kingra,and salemence"![electrike smiles and all the other pokemon smile back at him]"now time to have our first gym match!!"thank you nurse joy"!"no problem,anyday".[walk out of pokecnter and enter forset,all pokemon returned into pokeballs][walking through forest]"stop there loser"!
[looks to the right]"its me richard,pokemon master"!"i chalenge you to a match momas boy"!
"i accept"!"ready to loose,freak"?"the only loosing here today is you"!"lets battle"![me and richard say at same time]"go bagon"!"go steelix"![both pokemon appear]
"steelix use iron tail"!"bagon use dragon breath"![bagon lets dragonbreath out,but steelixs iron tail comes through and hits bagon directly,bagon is k'od]"ha already lost loser".
"im not done yet,return bagon"!"go totodile"!"now steelix use hyper beam"!"totodile dodge and use water gun"![totodile dodges and hits steelix directly with water gun]"steel"!![steelix lets out a big groan and falls to the floor,he looks hurt he must recharge untill he gains back power from the hyper beam]"nows your chance to finish him totodile,now use water gun"!
[totodile hits steelix directly with water gun steelix looks very weak]"ha stelix is still up,now finish him with take down"!"totodile dodge using agility"![totodile speeds very fast and steelix hits ground hard he can hardly stand]"steelix use crunch"![totodile doesnt have enough time to dodge and gets eisely k'od]"no totodile,return totodile,go sneasel"!
"steelix use hyper beam"![sneasel isnt paying attention and gets instantly k'od]"gosh looser u need to teach your pokemon to listen to u they r super stupid"!"dont call my pokemon names,return sneasel,go horsea"!"horsea use water gun"![hits steelix directly,he looks hurt but not k'od]"steelix eat your snack,use crunch"1[stelix instantly crunches down on horsea,horsea is k'od]"looser"!"return horsea,go houndoar"!"steelix use hyper beam"!"houndoar heres your chance hes weaqk so overpower him with ember"![stelixs hyperbeam uis really weak and houndoars ember completely overpowers it and makes steelix k'od]"no steelix"!"return,go nidoking"!"nidoking use mega horn"!"houndaor use tackle"![nidokings horn drill comletely overpowers ember and k'os houndoar]"return houndoar,go eletrike"![electrike comes out of the pokeball followed by a shine]"its that ugly dog u painted,nidoking demolish it use horn drill"![nidoking hits electrike,electrike is k'od]"no i lost"!
"haha looser youl never b good"![justin walks away shamefully][he walks all the way over to the beach]"im gona have to make a new start"[walks over to pokecenter][opens door and heads to pc......


well let me know guys....
 
You're missing something there... "3"
Anyways, can you use correct punctuation? It's kinda hard to read...
~Flygon
 
Back
Top