The Adventure of Adrian & Steven (COME NOW AND READ IT! Flygon's Fanfic!)

F

Flygon

I'm a girl :F
Member
This is my first fan-fic... It may not be good... This is the story of two best friends called Adrian and Steven. They just started to become a Pokemon Trainer... Read on with the story...

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                      The Adventure of Adrian & Steven
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                                    Introdution
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    Adrian is a 10 year old boy that lives in Maple Town. He is raised in a wealthy family. However, he is not a spoilt child. He always helps his mother do housework. Maple Town is a town which is popular with Maple Trees. His best friend, Steven, also raised in a wealthy family, lives next door. They play with each other every day and go to the same school, Maple Town School. They go there to learn about Pokemon and how to become good Pokemon Trainers. Then, their journey begins...
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                                    Chapter #1
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    "Adrian! Adrian! Wake up! You're late again! It's 9.00 a.m. already!" Called his mother.
    "I'm coming mom!" Replied Adrian.
    It is Adrian's 10th birthday. His mother had prepared lots of food for him. Adrian went downstairs to eat his breakfast. He saw lots of present waiting to be opened. After he ate his breakfast, he quickly opened his presents and found some stuff for his journey to become the best Pokemon Trainer. There were Poke-Balls, a Backpack, some Potions, Antidotes, Paralyze Heal and so on. After that, he bid bye to his family and told them he would come back soon.
     He went to Steven's house. Steven is already at the door waiting for him.
    "Hi, Steven!"
    "Hi, Adrian!"
    And they set off to Professor Sam's lab to get their first Pokemon. At the entrance, they saw something fly over them, it was a bird, with red-golden wings... They entered the lab.
    "Ah, you must be Adrian."
    "Yes."
    " And you must be Steven."
    " That's right."
    "Come over here and pick a Pokemon."
    So, Adrian picked Torchic and Steven picked Mudkip. They said thank you to Professor Sam and went off.
    "Hey, let's catch lots of Pokemon! I like Fire, so I catch Fire Pokemon!" Said Adrian.
    "And I like Water, so I catch Water Pokemon!" Said Steven.
    They reached the entrance to Ellinia Forest...
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To be continued...

Well, so do you like it? I'll continue the story until what Adrian said, come back to his house. That's after they beat the Elite Four... So I'll continue that far...
 
RE: The Adventure of Adrian & Steven

I'm back from doing my stuff, so here is Chapter #2
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                                    Chapter #2
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    "Wow! It's so big! There must be lots of Pokemon inside!" Said Steven.
    They entered the forest and saw a little boy around their age.
    "Hello, I'm Rick. Who are you?"
    "I'm Adrian and this is my friend, Steven. We are Junior Trainers. We just started Pokemon today."
    "Oh, I started today also! Let's have a battle, shall we?"
    "Okay, 2 on 2 battle? I and Steven use one each and you use two?"
    "Sure!"
    And so, the battle began.
    "Go Torchic!"
    "Go Mudkip!"
    "Go Wingull and Zigzagoon!"
    "Torchic, use Scratch!" *Hits Zigzagoon, Half HP left, critical hit*
    "Wingull, Water Gun!!" *Hits Torchic, a quater of HP left, Super Efective*
    "Mudkip, Tackle that Wingull!" *Hits Wingull*
    "Zigzagoon, Sand Attack!" *Torchic and Mudkip couldn't see very well*
    "Torchic, Scratch that Zigzagoon again! *Zigzagoon fainted. Critical Hit* (Mudkip and Torchic grew to level 6)
    "Zigzagoon, return! Wingull, Water Gun Torchic again!" *Torchic fainted*
    "Torchic, return!"
    "Mudkip, finish off that Wingull! Try your best with a Tackle attack!!" *Wingull fainted*
    "Wingull, return! Well, that was a though one... Thanks, bye. Gotta go and heal my Pokes!"
    "Hey, wait for us! We also have to heal our Pokes!" Said Adrian.
    As our heros walked to the nearest Pokemon Center, they talked about what Pokemon they liked, what they wanna become and so on. They entered the Pokemon Center and met Nurse Mary. They asked her to heal their Pokemon.
    "So, what Pokemon are you guys planning to catch?" Asked Rick.
    "I'm planning to catch some Fire Pokemon." Answered Adrian.
    "And I'm planning to catch some Water Pokemon." Answered Steven.
    *Ding* "Let's see, Torchic?" Asked Nurse Mary.
    " Me please!" Said Adrian.
    "And Mudkip?"
    " Me!" Said Steven.
    " So that leaves Zigzagoon and Wingull with Rick."
    "Yup!" Said Rick.
    They walked out of the Pokemon Center after they said thanks to Nurse Mary.
    "Well, bye then!" Said Rick.
    "Bye! Hope to meet you at the league!" Said Adrian and Steven together.
    They walked back to Ellinia Forest to continue on with their journey...
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To be continued...

I'll write the next chapter tomorrow as it's getting quite late here in Malaysia...
 
RE: The Adventure of Adrian & Steven

Well, instead of "gameboy version" of battle, you may try the realistic version. I do like you describe the battle more clearly instead of *accuracy fell*. Try like *Torchic and Mudkip can't see clearly*.
 
RE: The Adventure of Adrian & Steven

Oh, sorry. I'm quite sleepy and can't see what I typed well. LOL! I'll edit that.
 
Well, this is Chapter #3...
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Chapter #3
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As Adrian and Steven walked along, they saw many types of Pokemon. They did not see a bush nearby moving. Inside were Team Shadow. Two of them were here.They are the baddies in this region.
"Hey, lookie here! Newbies!" Said one of them.
"Yeah, let's 'play' with them!" Another one said.
They dressed as odinary trainers and walked up to them. They asked Adrian and Steven to give them all their Pokemon.
"Why should we?!" Asked Adrian.
"Because we said so!"
"No way!"
"Fine then! Go Poochyena! Scare them!"
Suddenly, a big and tall guy came. He is the guy that lived in a nearby house.
"What do you think you're doing with the innocent kids?" He said with a deep voice.
"Umm, nothing. We were just playing..."
"Then go away!"
Team Shadow quickly scurried away. They hid somewhere behind a tree and called their boss.
"Boss, we failed to steal the Pokemon."
"WHAT?? You two failed so many times! Do you even know how to steal?? I don't get the point of keeping you two in anymore! Now come back to the Hideout before somebody else knows about our plan!"
"Yes, boss."
Back to Adrian and Steven.
"Are you kids okay? I'm Jon."
"Yeah, we're okay. Who were those guys?"
"They are Team Shadow. You should be careful of them. They plan to rule the planet after they steal everyone's Pokemon, leaving them with no Pokemon left."
"Okay, we'll be carefull of them! Bye!"
"Oh yeah, you seem to have only one Pokemon each, why don't I give each of you a Wingull? It can help you Fly around when you get the HM Fly."
"Really? Thanks Uncle Jon!"
"Yeah, I breed them. Here you go! Bye!"
"Bye and thanks!"
And so, they continue walking through the Forest and have some battles. Their Pokemon grew stronger and they managed to catch a Wrumple each. They finally reached the exit of the forest. They are now in Acotack City...
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To be continued...
 
story's alright, but i think the chapters could be longer. be sure to decribe the attacks, and you have too much dialogue, and not enough description. all the description is in the beginning of the chapter, and then the rest is dailogue. if you want to see what i mean, check out Ultimate Tournament and How the Terrible Happened, ones by me and the other one is one i've read thats pretty well written.
 
I like the characters and its fun hearing about a new region. The battle in chapter 2 was a bit confusing to read through. Otherwise I like it, keep the story going.
 
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