So, I actually decided to read this in my free time.
I've only read the prologue and Chapter 1 so far, but... this is amazing. Excellent work. Though, being a stickler for spelling and grammar, I must point out some errors in Chapter 1:
Chapter 1:
Everyone besides me had already sat in their appropriate positions, glaring at me as I walked in.
When I did come to, his diatribe continued...
I, knowing the worst was yet to come if I did not leave yet...
Despite the fact I had run from the dining hall for a good three seconds...
Roy groaned, facepalming with such speed, you’d mistake it for footage in slow-motion.
OR
Roy groaned, facepalming with such speed, you’d have mistaken it for footage in slow-motion.
Of course, I contrasted him by grinning.
“I got your call,” I simply stated, placing my paw on my leather pouch...
On a side note:
I almost cried at the end of Chapter 1. D:
I've only read the prologue and Chapter 1 so far, but... this is amazing. Excellent work. Though, being a stickler for spelling and grammar, I must point out some errors in Chapter 1:
Chapter 1:
Everyone besides me had already sat in their appropriate positions, glaring at me as I walked in.
When I did come to, his diatribe continued...
I, knowing the worst was yet to come if I did not leave yet...
Despite the fact I had run from the dining hall for a good three seconds...
Roy groaned, facepalming with such speed, you’d mistake it for footage in slow-motion.
OR
Roy groaned, facepalming with such speed, you’d have mistaken it for footage in slow-motion.
Of course, I contrasted him by grinning.
“I got your call,” I simply stated, placing my paw on my leather pouch...
On a side note:
I almost cried at the end of Chapter 1. D: