Writing Ten Years Apart: Prologue up! Comment and Critique!

Mr. Random

Gravitating away from you...
Member
Hey guys, here's a fanfic I'm making. Hope you like it!
Table of Contents
Prologue: on first page
1st chapter: coming soon!​

Prologue: Ten Years Ago​

It was midnight in the forest.

The hut in which a family of 3 pokemon occupied was burned down. Every precious belonging the family owned-obliterated. The hut fell apart in a matter of seconds. The fire had not spread, for the house stood alone in a clearing, away from trees. And now, amidst the rubble, turned up a Jolteon And Espeon, who were two of the residents of the incinerated pile of twigs.

Their coats were singed and smelled of burnt fur. They were both weary and broken, despite the short time span of the blaze. Narrowly escaping death, they had survived the fire by burrowing underground until it ended. Now that it had ceased, they rose up to assess the damage, resulting in looks of shock and horror among the couple.

“My word,” panicked the Jolteon. “What happened!?”

The Espeon, however, was already gouging through piles of burnt wood, trying to salvage anything she could find. “Honey,” she yelped, “I can’t find anything!”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Athena,” replied the Jolteon. “Look for our son!”

With those words, Athena began searching the ashes for her infant son, Dusty. Searching for what seemed like hours, she tried to spot the dusky blue coat of a shiny Eevee, but failed.

“Marcus,” said Athena, her voice high-pitched with anxiety, “I can’t find him!”

“Neither can I,” called back her husband. “But we have to keep on looking!”


And so they did.

After hours of frantic searching, and still no sign of their son, they both finally gave in.

“He’s… he’s gone!!” moaned Athena, instantly washed with grief. Marcus rushed to her side immediately.

“Don’t worry, honey,” said Marcus, in an attempt to calm her down. “It’ll be all right.” Although he knew it was far from so.

“No, it won’t,” sobbed Athena. “Our son is dead, and our house is destroyed!”

“But, honey, think first. If we can’t find our son here, then he must have run away, thinking we were dead, right?”

Athena looked up and stopped sobbing.

Marcus saw he was getting attention and continued, “That means we can still find him! He’s an infant, he wouldn’t have gone too far.”

Athena looked at him and thought, I love my husband. Then she wiped her eyes and glowed with a new confidence. “Alright,” she said. “If we have to search the entire forest to look for my son, then I’m more than willing to do it!”

“Well, you’re not gonna do it on my watch,” replied a cold voice from behind them. The Espeon and Jolteon turned around, but were knocked out by the mystery pokemon with a single swift blow. The two were then dragged away from what was their home, spending the next ten years without their son.
 
Is this a Mystenry Dungeton ff? It'd be cool if it was the son was captured and raised, but conflicts on whether or not to go back. Good so far./
 
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