Writing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Eevee and the Legend of the 7 Stones

don()shinobi

PokeBeach's Yu-Gi-Oh enthusiast. I guess.
Member
My very first fanfic!

Those who participated in my RP's or had me in your RP might know some of the characters in the fic. Well. I hope you enjoy it! (Please R&R)

Pokemon Rescue Team: Eevee and the Legend of the 7 Stones

Prolouge

Once, a long time ago, far before time existed, there was a pouch. The pouch was a collection of everything that existed so far. When something was added, it went into the pouch. A few years later, the pouch started to warm up, and it eventually exploded in red-orange colors. This was known as the Big Bang. Slowly, the universe came into shape, and the pouch disappeared. It eventually exploded, and released 7 stones. The 7 stones were 7 different colors. Ruby, sapphire, topaz, emerald, gold, silver, and crystal. Each stone had a certain power, matching the color of the stone. The stones controlled the universe for trillions of years. Until IT happened.

Millions of years later, pokemon started appearing around the world we live in today. Pokemon were so overpopulated that the legendary poekmon had no choice but to get rid of some and out them on a new planet: Zorre. Zorre was not a regular planet: it was created by the gods and the rulers of the pokemon universe. But what happened to the stones?

When mewtwo was first created, it escaped and caused mayhem all over the place. Mewtwo snuck into a legendary meeting, where it found out about the pokemon’s plans. He went into the room and destroyed everything in sight. Blazing, raging flames covered the entire room. The only thing in sight without the flames was a little pink creature that resembled a cat: otherwise known as Mew. Mew was carrying 7 strange stones. Each stone had a different color: ruby, sapphire, topaz, emerald, gold, silver, and crystal. They sparkled greatly as mew flew away with the 7 stones. Mewtwo concentrated, and lifted himself off of the ground, and flew to find mew and take the 7 stones.

Mewtwo caught up to mew, but they landed in a very strange area. It was like a battlefield, but with strange features. The lights were turned off, unusually. Nightmares from the dreams of pokemon flew about. Mew tried to escape, but there was no way out. As mew cried in fear, mewtwo blasted mew with a powerful energy blast. Mew became very hurt. Wounds covered its entire body. It couldn’t talk and it couldn’t move. “You have the seven legendary stones. The ones that controlled the universe.” Mewtwo spoke. “Mew, just imagine what power these stones hold. They controlled the universe, until the universe had enough power to protect itself. I will take those stones, and become ruler of the world. You will not stop me!”

As mewtwo reached its cold, evil hands to grab the stones, they flashed. Each one flashed in a different color and greatly sparkled in more colors than you can think of. They slowly rose into the air, glowing and circling each other. They reached the top of the stadium as they heard a voice. “You have angered the seven legendary stones. Now, you will pay!” they yelled in anger. They floated down at fast speeds and circled the two pokemon. They went so fast it turned into a wild multi-colored blur. They glowed, and there was a huge explosion. When the deadly explosion cleared, mewtwo and mew were nowhere in sight.

After this event, the stones were never seen again. Rumor is that mewtwo survived the explosion, and went on with his life. The seven stones story still lives on, and most say it exists. Most say it’s a myth. Which is true? Find out!

END OF PROLOUGE

What did you think?
 
CW: Depends on what characters I remember. XD

LV: It's a secret.

CCloud: I'm glad you like it.

I made chapter 1!

Chapter 1

ZOOM! A brown blur flew by in the strange town. The town was known as the, well, Town Square. The blur continued running at fast speeds, startling everyone in sight of the little fellow. Right behind the speedy blur were three vicious pokemon. A houndour, a poochyena, and a growlithe. Each was barking loudly and chasing the speedy pokemon. They continued running through the town, with the pokemon firing black-as-black-can-be shadow balls and red-hot flames. They ran through the town square, eventually wandering into a dead end: The Whiscash Pond.

The speedy brown blur stopped at the sight of crystal-clear, sparkling water. The pokemon was an eevee: but not an ordinary eevee. Its fur shined with silver sparkles, seeming that the beautiful sparkles would never end. The eevee turned around, scared to death as the three pokemon approached. “Why, look who came to join us for lunch today!” the growlithe threatened in an evil voice. “Stop! Leave me alone!” the eevee yelled, scared. You could sense the fear in his eyes as they came closer. “Say, what is that on your forehead, hmm?” the poochyena asked devilishly. The two other pokemon looked at the eevee’s forehead, and gasped at what they saw. On the eevee’s forehead was a stone: a silvery sparkly stone. “You better run! Or I’ll scream!” the strange eevee said scared, as he started to take in a breath. The pokemon started to laugh like hey were a threesome of hyenas. The houndour started walking up to eevee, slowly. Every footstep felt like he was a step closer to death. The houndour got very dangerously close to the eevee’s cheek. “This is it pipsqueak.” The houndour evilly threatened. “You’re gonna die now, and nobody is going to mess with us while we do it.”

Growlithe and poochyena walked up to the eevee, laughing devilishly. As they slowly approached, eevee’s heart pounded faster. His eyes were zipped shut. His teeth chattered. Soon, growlithe and poochyena approached. They got dangerously close to the eevee, and the eevee looked like he was about to let out a giant yelp for help. “Your future is no longer in existence! You will die right now!” all three of the pokemon cackled like a pack of hyenas. The eevee backed up slowly, but could only go a few inches, as he was close to the wall. He kneeled down on his two back feet and started crying. “Please, just give me one last request. Please!” the eevee cried, emotionally hurt. “Why should we?” the houndour grinned. “Well, the greatest villains always grant last requests!” the eevee pleaded, sobbing with pain and fear. The three pokemon thought deeply for a moment. They whispered to each other and came up with a decision. “We have decided to grant you a last request.” The growlithe said without any emotion into his voice. He tossed out a bag onto the ground. “Take an item out of the bag.”

The eevee nodded and reached out of the nearby bag, looking at what was inside. Inside contained three items: a seed, an Oran berry, and an orb. The eevee carefully looked at the three items. After a few minutes, the eevee finally decided and ate the seed. “So, any last words before we kill you?” the poochyena asked menacingly. “Yeah, I do have something to say. One word, in fact.” The eevee grinned. “Goodbye!” In the blink of an eye, eevee was gone, with dusty dust trails where he disappeared. “You IDIOT! That was a quick seed!” the houndour yelled very angry. “How was I supposed to know? You stuffed three random items we stole just a few hours ago, remember?” growlithe asked curiously.

The eevee rushed for his life with the plentiful energy-providing quick seed. ‘I don’t know where I’m going, but at least I can get away from those guys.’ The eevee thought, running for his life. As he ran, he noticed grassy fields. VERY grassy fields. He then saw houses that looked like an eevee with a giant, multi-colored stone in the middle. The eevee stopped with a screech, walking towards the grassy field.

“Now what?! He got away, and there’s no lunch at all!” houndour yelled at the growlithe. “We can always split the Oran berry.” Growlithe said, bragging about his intelligence. Houndour’s face turned red. No, not the blush, but an angry face.  “Oran berries restore energy. We don’t need energy. WE NEED MEAT! Some fired chicken, or bacon, if that even counts.” Houndour explained, drooling in the process thinking of a nice, juicy, raw, boneless prime rib/sirloin/New York strip mix of meat with secret steak seasoning and sauce, with a squeeze of lemon juice. Growlithe and poochyena had nothing to do except stare at houndour’s seemingly-endless drooling.

The eevee walked through the strange grassy field, amazed and surprised by the scenery. “Wow, this is like nothing I’ve ever seen before! So peaceful, so beautiful, so-” he started to say. Before he could finish, the lone eevee bumped into a strange feminine brown creature. The creature look similar to the eevee: but she was brown instead of silver like he was. The eevee turned around and spotted the lone eevee. “What are you doing on this private property?” the eevee asked. When she turned her head, the eevee was shocked at what he saw: a crystal sticking right on the female eevee’s forehead. “I’m so sorry, I just stumbled upon here, escaping from a houndour, growlithe, and poochyena.” He said, trying not to get into trouble. The female gasped at the saying. ‘A growlithe, houndour and poochyena? That’s not good!’ she thought. “Well, how about you stay at my place for a bit? You could use some rest.” The female said, smiling. She went in and walked into the house, while the male followed.

The house was HUGE! Everything looked fancy and unique. The chairs were made of wood, and the tables were made of logs. (Not exactly what you would call fancy, eh?) There was a fireplace, with two chairs near it and a bowl of pokeblock in assorted flavors. “It’s not much, but make yourself at home.” The female said, walking over to one of the chairs. She patted on the other chair. “Come, sit. The fire will calm your nerves, and the food will restore your energy.” She held out a bowl of nuts with pokeblock drizzling and a small lemon wedge. He ran up to the chair, and gently sat down with the food in front of him. Heavily disgusted by the way it looked, he took a small bite. His appetite kicked in, and started eating normal while listening to the tales.


“By the way, I never got your name. What is it?” the eevee asked, curious. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if it’s too private, I can understand that.” He responded to himself, blushing a little bit in a pinkish color. The female nodded. “My name is Radiance.” The eevee said proudly. Eevee’s eyes sparkled greatly. “That’s a very beautiful name!” he happily commented. Radiance looked around, spotting the pokeblock jar on the table. She picked it up and set it down on the table in front of her, so both pokemon could reach. “Thanks. That means a lot to me.” Radiance responded kindly, blushing. It was highly noticeable, and the shiny eevee got to find what happened. He never said anything, because the little eevee thought it came naturally. “So, what’s your name?” Radiance asked, curiously. The eevee gulped. “I promised my mom and dad that I wouldn’t tell my name to anybody.” The eevee said, looking down at the floor. Radiance’s crystal glowed a little bit, and felt his true emotions and how he really felt. “It’s okay, you can trust me!” Radiance said happily, holding out her hand. The eevee looked back to Radiance, gathering enough courage to say his real name out loud. His fur sparkled with excitement “My name………..is Lucky.”  
 
Thank you all. I thank thee. (XD)

I am proud to announce I am working on chapter 2!
 
Hmmm..The framework of your story is there but it could becom even better if you fleshed it out with more detail, right now you are doing more telling had showing, for example:

"He went into the room and destroyed everything in sight."

Show us how he did that, make the reader feel as if they are there. Did he shot flames out of his eyes? Did he use a nearby lighter and some misplaced gas cans? Was he trying to make pancakes and set the oven on five with his awful cooking skills?

"Mew was carrying 7 strange stones."

Remember to use the word form of numbers when writing fiction :).
Also, flesh out statements like this, again, was Mew holding the stones in her hands? In a official pokemon backpack? Wearing the whole kit' and caboodle as a necklace?

Just some things to keep in mind, I know you can get better!:)
 
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