Writing PDC's Poetry

[PDC]

Hey guys. You might not see me that much in this part of the forum, but I do enjoy writing poetry. There are poetry contests going on in my state right now, and I really want to win it. So I was wondering if you could give your opinion on some of my poems?

The White Wolf -

Alone he walks on the snow
Burning the prints into the crisp earth
The Desolate land calls to him in a gentle whisper
Nothing but a soul walks alone in the snow
The White wolfs eyes are set on a elegant glow

A Howl that pierces through the thick mist of the night
The fear strikes through a heart with pure fright
As the shock etches itself in the heart of a doe
It's already to late
A silent ruffle in the snow
The wolf howls toward the moon
The pack returns around the stone of a deer
Finally daybreak is here

Setting off once again
The Wolf ventures away prowlwing yet again

 

[safariblade]

The actual words and subjects are fine, but your rhyming doesn't.

Usually Poems will have rhymes like:

A
A
A
A

B
B
B
B

Or

A
B
A
B

C
D
C
D

But yours is more like:

A
A
B
A
A

C
C
A
D
A
E
F
F

G
G

Even if you aren't going for rhymes, ending three lines of a stanza with 'snow' Is not a very good way to go.

 

[Incinermyn]

There's really no rule in poetry that specifically states you have to make your poetry rhyme (hence why most people choose to write free-verse), but I would personally suggest working of word variety a lot more. If you want to work with a format that allows you to reuse the same words over and over again, I'd suggest the sestina, in which you must recycle the last word in each of six lines for six stanzas and then mix them up in one last three-lined verse; however, I warn you, even expert poets cringe at this style and it's one of the most difficult to pull off so that it actually sounds poetic. Otherwise, I can only suggest going off of what Hyperbeem and Safariblade said.

 

[Uralya]

Nice job. I think it's better than most your age could do. Like safariblade said, the "snow" lines could use some reorganizing. Also, the fact that some lines rhyme and some don't is interesting. I like it...

~AoH