Writing Medieval Pokemon

grassdragon

Mega Lopunny Fanatic :P
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Hello! Some of you may remember my Arceus story. It failed. So I'm back to try again!
Comments and Constructive Criticism are welcome. Here is the Prologue:

~ Medieval Pokemon Prologue ~

Long ago, before any Pokémon Regions were established, there were clans. Pokémon were feared creatures whose power could not be contained because there was no way to capture them; therefore, the humans of the time formed the clans, which offered sacrifices and payed homage to the Pokémon that they considered to be “deities.” Each clan worshiped a Pokémon that they believed to be the ultimate Pokémon of its type.

There was the Fire Clan, who worshiped Charizard because it represented power and strength, both of which were held in high esteem in the Fire Clan. Then there was the Water Clan, who worshiped Blastoise because it represented tranquility and power. Finally, there was the Grass Clan, who worshiped Venusaur because they believed that Venusaur represented life and treachery. There were other clans, but these three clans crushed them and assimilated the others into their own.

The people of the crushed clans resented the Fire, Water, and Grass Clans and revolution ensued. The war against the clans fared well for the revolutionaries until the unthinkable happened; while the humans were fighting, a baby Charmander wandered into the battlefield. Some of the humans were sick of offering homage to Pokemon, so seeing the baby Charmander alone, and, ignorant of the fact that Charmander will eventually evolve into Charizard, they imprisoned it, bound it in chains, and tortured it. The Charmander suffered and cried out for its mother. Unfortunately, by the time the mother Charizard came, the Charmander had died. Outraged, the mother Charizard severely burned the leaders of the clans and destroyed all the land around the clans. The leaders survived and they did their best to make sure that history would never repeat itself. They treated Pokémon with respect and began bonding with them, and they learned to work together in harmony.

For the next thousand years, the descendants made sure they would treat all Pokémon with respect, and, over time, clans for each type of Pokémon began to sprout up all around the world, each with a leader who was a descendant of the surviving leader of the original clans. They cared for their respective type and made sure nobody abused any Pokémon ever again; however, as more time went by, the truth of the original clan’s history was slowly lost to the point that a relapse of that terrible calamity was unavoidable.
 
I like how you kind of looped it into a paradox there, making what first happened be the ending result of its own resolution. However, I'm not sure how you're going to set it up into a story. Are the three Pokemon just going to wreak havoc again, or is there going to be many wars involving the types? Also, will eighteen different clans not seem a little overwhelming to write about, or are you going to focus on the main ones and add in the other types later? Do the FWG clans still dominate?

I could go on forever. Your prologue is fine, but I feel like there are some questions left unanswered that I hope you can explain in your first chapter.

Nice work :D
 
Turtwig said:
I like how you kind of looped it into a paradox there, making what first happened be the ending result of its own resolution. However, I'm not sure how you're going to set it up into a story. Are the three Pokemon just going to wreak havoc again, or is there going to be many wars involving the types? Also, will eighteen different clans not seem a little overwhelming to write about, or are you going to focus on the main ones and add in the other types later? Do the FWG clans still dominate?

I could go on forever. Your prologue is fine, but I feel like there are some questions left unanswered that I hope you can explain in your first chapter.

Nice work :D

I'm afraid Chapters 1 and 2 will leave you with more questions than answers.
I'm only going to focus on the most important clans: Flying, Grass, Water, Fire, and Electric.
I'm only going to have Gen I Pokemon in the story.
 
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