Contest June 2021 CaC: Owner's Pokémon (Results Up!)

EM-isthmus

Feathered Biped
Member
Regarding "Believability/Playability", it would be nice to get feedback on why this card lost points!

Regarding "Aesthetics", this was a deliberate choice as it was meant to be animated:
and replicate the PTCGO foil effect. See the difference on Gladion's clothes at two different times:
Screen_Shot_2021-07-12_at_9.12.23_PM.png
Screen_Shot_2021-07-12_at_9.12.29_PM.png
I'd like to add to this by mentioning this criticism, which is a bit inaccurate.
- Still, the GX attack should be either “each Active Pokémon” and “its owner’s” or “both Active Pokémon” and “their owners’” (note the plural owners). Both Active Pokémon don’t have the same owner. [-1 point]
en_US-Promo_SM-SM93-marshadow.jpg
This card points to the only necessary change being "their" to "its", rather than changing anything else. "Each Active Pokémon" has not been used since Diamond & Pearl, with "Both Active Pokémon" being the modern convention. While both Active Pokémon do not have the same owner, effects to multiple targets are always applied individually, in a player's chosen order. To illustrate, a player using Quittin' Time GX would choose which Pokémon to shuffle (into its owner's deck) first, then that player promotes their next Active Pokémon, and so on for the next. As such, this seems like a more minor error; not one that would be worth a whole point.
 

Jabberwock

#Jovimohnaeliackvid
Forum Mod
Articles Staff
Member
Thanks for your feedback post-results, all! Omega will respond in more detail when he's able. :)

I'd like to add to this by mentioning this criticism, which is a bit inaccurate.

en_US-Promo_SM-SM93-marshadow.jpg
This card points to the only necessary change being "their" to "its", rather than changing anything else. "Each Active Pokémon" has not been used since Diamond & Pearl, with "Both Active Pokémon" being the modern convention. While both Active Pokémon do not have the same owner, effects to multiple targets are always applied individually, in a player's chosen order. To illustrate, a player using Quittin' Time GX would choose which Pokémon to shuffle (into its owner's deck) first, then that player promotes their next Active Pokémon, and so on for the next. As such, this seems like a more minor error; not one that would be worth a whole point.
I can take this one, though, since it's one of the errors I flagged myself on my brief review.

Solely changing "their" to "its" doesn't work here — that gives us "Shuffle both Active Pokémon and all cards attached to them into its owner's deck." In that sentence, "both Active Pokémon" is plural (see: all cards attached to them), but we're trying to refer to "its owner" as though it's singular. Since "both Active Pokémon" collectively are a "them", not an "it" (and have plural owners, not just one), we would need to say "Shuffle both Active Pokémon and all cards attached to them into their owners' decks" for the numbers to agree. ("Their owner's" doesn't work either because, again, "both Active Pokémon" collectively have more than one owner.)

Granted, though, we've never seen "their owners" over "its owner" on any real card before, because all the effects that care about an owner only care about one card at a time. So the other way we could do this is to make everything singular, using "each Active Pokémon" instead of "both Active Pokémon". Then we could go with Marshadow SM93 as a reference and say "its owner's deck" rather than "their owners' decks", but we can do that only if we make the "Active Pokémon" bit singular first.

Either way, we're extrapolating something: either we choose to adhere to the "both Active Pokémon" convention and introduce "their owners' decks" as a usage we have no reference for, or we choose to adhere to the "its owner's deck" convention and refer to "each Active Pokémon" singularly. I think both wordings have equally compelling arguments in their favor, so if I were the judge here I probably would have accepted either one. The issue arises when we mix and match singulars and plurals and get something that refers to "both Active Pokémon" and "their [singular] owner".

Hope that all makes sense — tl;dr it's a grammatical thing, not a problem with the references or any ambiguity in how it would be played. Lmk if there's anything further I can clarify on this point. :)
 

47bennyg

Hmmmm
Member
Nicely done everyone! Lots of creative things happening in this contest. Also side note, I love how awful the formatting of the names of cards has to be for this particular round.

Blake’s Dewott ✦ - [W] - HP: 160 - Stage 1: Evolves from Oshawott
No 502. Discipline Pokémon - 2’07’’ - 54.0 lbs.

Ability: Inspector: Whenever the opponent draws cards or take prize cards with this card in play, you may choose half of the cards obtained (minimum of 1, maximum of 4). The opponent must reveal those cards. Every time you play a Trainer card, you may search your deck for any Energy card and attach it to any Pokémon who’s attacks specifically list that type of energy, then shuffle your deck.

[W][W][C] Shell Blade: 50+
Flip a coin. If heads, this attack deals 10 more damage for each of your Benched Pokémon’s Energy card of the same type as the Pokémon it is attached to.
✦ (Prism Star) Rule: You can’t have more than 1 ✦ card with the same name in your deck. If a ✦ card would go to the discard pile, put it in the Lost Zone instead.

Weakness: Lightning x2
Resistance: N/A
RC: [C][C]
“The International Police member Blake still uses this very Dewott after he obtained it. Rumors say both are a force to be reckoned with.”

Wording Errors:
-Evolves from Blake’s Oshawott (-1 point)
-needs HT and WT in description (-1 point)
-Inspector needs some rewording. This Ability is definitely new and custom territory, but there are some spots where you could mimic the style of Pokémon’s wording better, and some places where the text isn’t very clear. Here is my attempt -
“Whenever your opponent draws cards or takes Prize cards, you may choose half of the cards obtained (minimum of 1, maximum of 4). Your opponent reveals those cards. When you play a Trainer card from your hand, you may search your deck for an Energy card and attach it to 1 of your Pokémon that has that type of Energy in one of its attack’s costs. Then, shuffle your deck.” (-3 points).
-Wording of Shell Blade is a little off and unclear. Here’s my attempt at making it better:
“Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 10 more damage for each Energy attached to your Benched Pokémon that is the same type as that Pokémon.” (-2 points)

Creativity/Originality: 16/20
The creativity of this card is it’s best aspect. The first half of the Inspector Ability is very thematic and fair, but it’s a bit clunky during actual gameplay to have to choose and reveal cards that often. The second half of Inspector, combined with the effect of Shell Blade, is really cool and they have great synergy with each other.

Wording: 8/15
When going into completely new territory, it’s expected that it will be a challenge. However, you still have to make sure that the little bits and phrases that are not new stay in the Pokémon style.

Believability/Playability: 5/15
This is where this card struggles the most. Inspector is an absolutely BROKEN Ability. Everyone would play this card, because you typically could play 3-4 Trainers a turn (I’m just guessing but this seems right), which just means accelerating 3-4 Energy into play for free from the deck (which is the most insane place to accelerate from, the only cards that have ever done this in a non-attack form are Kiawe BUS and Mina LOT, and these are once per turn Supporters with restrictions). Games would be decided based on who had their Blake’s Dewott prized because it is a Prism Star. It being a Prism Star also hurts it’s believability, because Prism Star cards were all basics, and with the exception of Ditto, all legendary Pokémon. Finally, having a Dewott with 160 HP is just well above the marker for other Dewotts. The most recent one, Dewott DAA, has 90 HP, while its evolution from the same set just hits the 160 mark.

Total: 29/50
Akari's Pikachu HP: 50 [L]
Basic
Mouse Pokémon Length: 1' 4" Weight: 13 lbs.
[L] Cool Setup
Each player chooses 1 of their Basic Pokémon in play, searches their deck for a Pokémon with the same name as that Basic Pokémon in play, and puts it onto their bench. Both players shuffle their deck afterwards. If a player doesn't put a Basic Pokémon onto their Bench with the effect of this attack, that player puts 1 damage counter on each of their Benched Pokémon. If either players' Bench is full, this attack does nothing.

[L][L] Swarm Voltage 20
Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 20 damage to each of your opponent's Benched Pokémon with the same name as the Defending Pokémon. (don't apply Weakness and Resistance for Benched Pokémon.)

Weakness: [F] x2
Resistance:
Retreat: [C]

Wording Errors:
-HT and WT, not length and weight (-1 point)
-I think the beginning of Cool Setup can be simplified in wording:
“Each player searches their deck for a Basic Pokémon with the same name as one of their Basic Pokémon in play, puts it onto their bench, then shuffles their deck afterward.”
This is more modeled after HGSS Pichu, which has the closest effect. (-1 point)

Creativity/Originality: 15/20
While the Playground style effect of Cool Setup isn’t new, and neither is Swarm Voltage’s secondary effect (see Shiftry ex PK and Metagross ex PK), I do really appreciate the synergy between the two attacks. This is a good example of using existing TCG framework and taking your own spin on it.

Wording: 13/15
Well done, just some nitpicking here.

Believability/Playability: 14/15
A very believable card. With the current power level of the TCG, I would expect to see a bit more power in Swarm Voltage, whether it is removal of the coin flip or maybe reducing the energy cost in some way, (maybe [L][C] or just [L]), but overall well done here.

Total: 42/50
Joey’s Rattata // HP50
Colorless - Basic Pokémon
NO. 019 Mouse Pokémon HT: 1’00” WT: 7.7 lbs.

[C] Top Percentage Tackle 10+
If Rattata is your Active Pokémon since the beginning of the game, this attack does 20 more damage.

Living wherever there is food available, it ceaselessly scavenges for edibles the entire day.

weakness: Fighting x2
resistance: none
retreat cost: [C]

Wording Errors:
-If Rattata has been your Active Pokémon since the beginning…
Since refers to past tense, so update the tense of the first part of the sentence to match (-1 point)
-Capitalize Weakness, Resistance, and Retreat Cost (-1 point for the first capitalization error, then -0.5 for the others for a total of -2 points)

Creativity/Originality: 14/20
I’m going to go high on this score and give it 14, because I really like the new mechanic you have introduced with the attack, and it really goes well with Joey’s aesthetic. The problem is, it doesn’t really do anything. There are no unique interactions that it has, it is just kind of a cool mechanic in a vacuum.

Wording: 12/15
Pretty good overall, and I agree - SF Sableye is your best bet in terms of wording similarity from the HGSSish era, but you can’t blanket copy it. Sableye’s ability is referencing the “beginning of the game” as something happening right as its ability is used, but this card is referencing the “beginning of the game” as something that happened in the past.

Believability/Playability: 13/15
Interestingly, there has never been a Rattata with more than 40HP, but I am going to let this one slide because it is the “top percentage.” However, it is a little weak for a top Rattata. Rattata UD hits 20 for 1 energy, and in comparison I think Joey should be a little bit more rewarded than the prospect of hitting 10 more damage than a normal rat. I’d buff up the bonus damage on the attack maybe by 10, but that’s debatable. Otherwise, it fits pretty well in with all of the other rats around.

Total: 39/50
[Stage 1] Honchkrow HP130 [D]
Evolves from Murkrow

NO. 430 Big Boss Pokémon HT: 2'11'' WT: 60.2 lbs.

Ability: Head Honcho
Once during your turn, if this Pokémon is in the Active Spot when you play Boss's Orders, you may Knock Out 1 of your Benched Murkrow. If you do, flip a coin. If heads, your opponent's new Active Pokémon is Knocked Out. If tails, you may Knock Out 1 of your Benched Murkrow and flip again. Pokémon other than this Pokémon cannot attack during the turn you use this Ability.

[D] Heir Apparent 80
If this Pokémon is Knocked Out during your opponent's next turn, you may search your deck for up to 3 in any combination of Murkrow and Honchkrow and put them onto your Bench. Then, shuffle your deck.

Weakness: [F] x2
Resistance: -
Retreat: [C]
Its goons take care of most of the fighting for it. The only time it dirties its own hands is in delivering a final blow to finish off an opponent.

Wording Errors:
None that I can see.

Creativity/Originality: 17/20
I think a testament to how much I like this card’s creativity is it inspires me to imagine how I could use it in Standard play. The abilities and attack effects play very well into the mafia boss aesthetic, with Honchkrow sacrificing a bunch of Murkrow to get the job done. I also like the creativity of tying Honchkrow to Boss’s Orders in the style of Garchomp UPR, this would not have been the first pairing that would have came to mind for me.

What I would like to have seen from this is a more creative way to limit the cost than a coin flip. If there was something here, I think this goes to 20/20. I understand why the flip is here, because without it you most likely you just trade 1 Knocked Out Murkrow for at least a two prizer and just win looping Honchkrows, but the flip is so unreliable. My first thought was (well maybe I play Honchkrow/Magneton and pop a Magneton to use Lt. Surge’s Strategy, Will and Boss to guarantee the flip, but then I’m just trading 2 for 2 or 3 instead of 1, and I have another unreliable evolution line clogging up my deck.


Wording: 15/15

Believability/Playability: 13/15
I think it is a pretty believable card, if not just a little on the convoluted end of something TPCi would print. There aren’t many good single prize archetypes currently available (especially a non basic one), but this one has tools that would help it succeed in a modern game by looping itself with its attack. 80 Damage might be just a smidge more than TPCi would be willing to put on a card for 1 energy with such a good effect also attached, though.

Total: 44/50
Oichi’s Wigglytuff [] 140 HP [] (Colorless)

Stage 1 [] Evolves from Oichi’s Jigglypuff

NO. 040 Balloon Pokémon HT: 3'03 WT: 26.5 lbs.

Ability: Soft Light

You may use this ability only if this Pokémon has at least 3 energy cards attached to it. Heal all damage and special conditions from each of your Pokémon in play. If you do, discard this Pokémon and all cards attached to it.

(C) Mood Maker

Search your deck for up to 3 Basic Energy cards and attach them to your Pokémon in any way you like.

Weakness [] Resistance
(F) x2 [] None

Retreat [] It is very temperamental. Although
(C)(C) [] it profusely dislikes battles, it’ll answer
to its partner will and fight along her
until the end.

Wording Errors:
-Capitalization need on Ability, Energy, and Special Conditions; no capitalization needed on basic (-2.5 points)
-When Energy are attached to a Pokémon, they are referred to as Energy and not Energy cards (-1 point)
-Mood Maker needs a “then, shuffle your deck” clause (-3 points)
-There are some typos that have made the flavor text confusing to read, I think it is meant to say:
“Although it profusely dislikes battles, it’ll answer to its partner’s will and fight alongside her until the end.” (-1 point)

Creativity/Originality: 16/20
A nice new way to be a healing and supportive Pokémon, with a synergized attack to set it up. But it is also flexible, and can be an offensive support as well as defensive. Mood Maker in a vacuum is an attack we’ve seen countless times, but your variation has some power behind it and is unique.

Wording: 7.5/15
A lot of where you missed points you could have copied directly from an existing card. The text of Mood Maker could have been taken verbatim from Arceus, Dialga, and Palkia Tag Team GX’s attack, and you would have made up a lot of points here.

Playability/Believability: 14/15
This is a very believable card, but it is a bit underpowered to be meta, because it is basically a two-turn heal or two-turn energy accelerator compared to something like Boltund V or Cheryl that can accomplish what it can in one; or ADP that can accelerate the same as Oichi’s Wigglytuff but also hit for 180 damage. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t something that TPCi would print however; this is section is your biggest strength on this card.

Total: 37.5/50
Raihan's Duraludon 180 HP [M]

Ability: Metal Melting
Once during your turn, you may discard a [M] energy from your hand and draw a card.

[M] Construction 60
This Pokemon takes 20 less damage from attacks until the end of your Opponent's next turn for each [M] energy in your discard Pile.

[M] [M] Search your deck for a card and put it into your hand.

[M] [M] [M] Metal Cleave 140+
This attack does 20 More Damage for each [M] energy in your discard Pile.

Weakness: [R]
Resistance: [G]
Retreat: [C] [C] [C]

Wording Errors:
-Missing Basic Pokémon tag after name and HP (-1 point)
-Metal Melting should match similar “Make Do” style abilities in current SWSH wording and read:
You must discard a [M] Energy card from your hand in order to use this Ability. Once during your turn, you may draw a card.
(-2 points)
-Construction should match current SWSH wording on similar attacks and read:
During your opponent’s next turn, this Pokémon takes 20 less damage from attacks for each [M] Energy card in your discard pile.
-missing the é in Pokémon (-1 point)
-”Opponent’s” and “Pile” do not need capitalized (-1 point for the first capitalization error, then -0.5 for the others for a total of -2 points)
-Second attack is missing a name (-1 point)
-Second attack needs “Then, shuffle your deck” reminder text. (-3 points)
-Need to include amount of resistance (-30 in SWSH era) (-1 point)


Creativity/Originality: 16/20
I really like the built-in synergy this card has, with the Ability discarding Metal Energy to fuel the other attacks. It’s simple, but effective.

Wording: 2/15
This is the section that is bringing your work down right now. My advice to you is to copy/paste some of these things straight from other cards that already exist, that way you are guaranteed to have the grammar and clauses correct.

Believability/Playability: 10/15
A couple of things make this not believable for the current TCG era. First, the HP is a little much for a 1-prize basic, all other 1-prize Duraludons have 130 HP. Second, the first attack is a bit overtuned compared to current 1-prize basics. Compare this card to Tauros DAA, which hits for 60 for 1 attachment (as long as the attachment is a Twin Energy). This card, instead, hits 1 for 60 for a basic energy, but also has a positive effect tied to this attack. That’s a little bit over the top. Third, no SWSH era card has more than 2 attacks, or more than 1 attack and 1 ability. However, I think you could get rid of the second attack, and either the ability or the third attack and you still have a really interesting card that could see play as a 1-prize archetype. Throw some toughness capes in the deck, Mallow and Lana, and some ways to discard Metal Energy and you’ve got a deck. It could also be the Decidueye/Altaria counter in LucMetal/ADP decks.

Total: 28/50
Mitsuhide’s Articuno-EX
Type: [W] – HP 160
Basic Pokémon (Pokémon-EX)

Ability: Cold Eyes
When you play this Pokémon from your hand onto your Bench, put a Pokémon from your opponent's discard pile onto his or her Bench.

[W][C][C][C] Vengeful Blizzard 70
Put 1 damage counter on each of your opponent's Pokémon for each Pokémon in your discard pile.

Weakness: [M] X 2
Resistance: [F] -20

Retreat: [C][C]

Pokémon-EX Rule: When a Pokémon-EX has been Knocked Out, your opponent takes 2 Prize cards.

Wording Errors: None that I can see.

Creativity/Originality: 13/20
While there are a few things novel about the Target Whistle like effect of Cold Eyes (and I like the name for Cold Eyes, it fits in well with Pokémon’s lexicon of similar Abilities and Attacks), overall, it’s not that groundbreaking. There’s a bit of synergy with it with Vengeful Blizzard as well, but it doesn’t exactly knock my socks off.

Wording: 15/15

Believability/Playability: 10/15
One thing that I think this card needs is a damage cap. A few cards that do damage based on Pokémon in the discard pile have a damage cap, whether written explicitly (Persian-GX UNB, Zoroark TEU) or implicitly based on their archetype (Night March, Mad Party). It’s one thing for you to be able to hit hard into the active with this style of attack, but it’s another to spread. Comparing this to the biggest spread card right now in Kyogre SHF, which does 80 to each with a very awkward energy requirement, while this can go higher with a more manageable Energy cost. Also, it’s not blockable by Mr. Mime BKT because it’s damage counters, not damage.

Total: 38/50
Kris's Suicune HP130 [W]
Basic Pokèmon
Owned by Kris

[Ability]Worthy Challenge

If your opponent’s Active Pokémon is a Pokémon V or Pokémon-GX,this Pokémon’s attacks do 30 more damage (before applying Weakness and Resistance),and its attacks cost [C][C] less.

[W][C][C] Cristal Wall 70
You may discard a Stadium card in play.If you do,prevent all damage done to this Pokémon by attacks from your opponent’s Pokémon with a Rule Box(Pokémon V, Pokémon-GX, etc. have Rule Boxes),Rapid Strike and Single Strike Pokèmon.

Weakness:[L]X2
Resistance:None
Retreat Cost:[C][C]
"After years of an eternal sleep,the Legendary Pokèmon Suicune wakes up to find a worthy partner along with its brothers Entei and Raikou to save the Pokèmon who gave them life."


Wording Errors:
-Wrong dongle on the e in Basic Pokémon, Single Strike Pokémon, and Legendary Pokémon (-2 points)
-The “owned by” text isn’t necessary (-0 points)
-Spacing errors - make sure that you have a space in between punctuation like commas and periods. This happens 7 times here (-1 point for the first spacing error, then -0.5 for the others for a total of -4 points)
-Abilities that affect damage done to an opponent’s Pokémon specify where - most specify Active (like Cinderace CRE), but some specify others (like Passimian CRE). Your ability needs this specification (-2 points).
-Crystal, not Cristal (-1 point)
-Cristal Wall should read “If you discarded a Stadium in this way” to match Flygon DAA (-2 points)
-Fix grammar of last sentence of Cristal Wall - Rapid Strike Pokémon, and Single Strike Pokémon. (-1 point)
-Quotation marks not necessary in the flavor text, unless it is a quote. (-0 points)

Creativity/Originality: 13/20
I’m not sure there’s anything necessarily new about the ideas you’ve got on this card, just maybe a culmination of all of them together. We’ve seen attack cost reduction on Galarian Zapdos CRE and Lycanroc CEC, damage modification based on Rule Box Pokémon in Charizard DRM, and damage prevention when discarding a stadium on Flygon DAA.

Wording: 3/15
The repeated errors in spacing and the Pokémon é were the biggest culprit here. Personally, I always copy/paste the é from a real Pokémon source to make sure I get it right.

Believability/Playability: 14/15
This is a very believable card. I’m docking one point because I feel it is a little underpowered, compared to other 1-prize walls like Decidueye DAA. Having to chain discarding stadiums would prevent this card from being played competitively. However, I could very easily imagine this as a real card. Nice work.

Total: 30/50
Tate & Liza's Solrock & Lunatone-GX - Psychic - HP 270
Basic - TAG TEAM

Ability: Twin Telepathy
If this Pokémon is your Active Pokémon, draw 2 cards instead of 1 at the beginning of your turn.

[P][C] Shining Sun and Sparkling Moon 100
If you have Espeon or Solgaleo in play, your opponent's Active Pokémon is now Burned. If you have Umbreon or Lunala in play, your opponent's Active Pokémon is now Asleep. Either way, for the rest of this game, whenever your opponent flips a coin for a Special Condition between turns, that Special Condition isn't removed even if the result is heads.

[P]+ Solar Eclipse GX
Your opponent's Pokémon in play, in their hand, and in their discard pile have no Abilities and your opponent's Supporter cards, Pokémon Tool cards, and Special Energy have no effect until the end of your opponent's next turn. (This includes cards that come into play on that turn.) If you played Tate & Liza from your hand during this turn, use the effect of that card as the additional effect of this attack. (You can't use more than 1 GX attack in a game.)

Weakness: [P]x2
Resistance:
Retreat: [C][C]
TAG TEAM rule: When your TAG TEAM is Knocked Out, your opponent takes 3 Prize cards.

Wording Errors:
None that I can see.

Creativity/Originality: 14/20
While the Ability and first attack are solid, both thematically and gameplay wise, I’m not really buying the GX attack’s secondary effect. The other TAG TEAM GX attacks all provide a really strong benefit, but I think sometimes this secondary effect could be a downside. What if I have a really good hand that I don’t want to shuffle away? What if I don’t want to switch this attacker to the bench? My suggestion would be to move the starting effect to be the bonus effect, and come up with another effect or damage to be the starting effect.

Wording: 15/15

Believability/Playability: 8/15
There are a few things about this that make it a little unbelievable. First of all, the HP seems to be a couple points too many. There isn’t exactly an official scale to the HP of Tag Teams, but I think that this one having as much HP as Muk & Alolan Muk seems a little out of place, considering Lunatone/Solrock are usually 90ish HP basics, while Muk has been falling in the 120-140ish HP range. I’d put them in the 240-260 range.

Second, I think Shining Sun and Sparkling Moon is a little too powerful. The only “for the rest of the game” effects we have seen on TAG TEAM GXs have come on the GX attack (ADP and LucMetal), so having a permanent effect here not only seems out of place, it also seems very cheap. Actually, it is probably easier to get this attack to happen on turn 1 than it is for ADP to pull off a turn 1 Altered Creation GX, using Lunala CEC, a Solgaleo, and an energy switch. By just having a Lunala in play, you can create a really powerful lock that your opponent needs a Trainer to switch out of or they are toast that I think could warp the metagame.


Total: 37/50
Lance's Dragonite VMAX – HP300 - Dragon (Claw Mark)
VMAX - Evolves from Lance's Dragonite V - Dynamax

Ability: Young Drakes
When your [N] Pokémon in play get Knocked Out by damage from damage from an opponent’s attack, that player takes 1 fewer Prize card. You can’t apply more than 1 Young Drakes Ability at a time.

[W][L][C][C] Max Training 130+
You may search your deck for up to 2 Stage 1 [N] Pokémon or 1 Stage 2 [N] Pokémon and put them onto your Bench. If you do, this attack does 80 more damage, and this Pokémon has no Retreat Cost during your next turn.

Weakness:
Resistance:
Retreat: [C][C][C]

VMAX Rule: When your Pokémon VMAX is Knocked Out, your opponent takes 3 Prize cards.

Wording Errors:
-Extra “damage from” in Young Drakes (-1 point)
-Missing a “then, shuffle your deck” clause from Max Training (-3 points).
-I think it might be more in line with what TPCi would do to have Max Training no Retreat Cost until the end of your next turn, (something like Bronzong AR), because it seems a bit weird that Lance’s Dragonite VMAX would still have 3 retreat during your opponents turn after you used the attack, then it would go down to 0 after your opponents turn. I’m honestly not sure if I’m right, but I figured I’d suggest this anyway (-0 points).

Creativity/Originality: 16/20
Prize reduction has never been tied to an in-play Ability like this before, and tying it to an Orbeetle BST or Cradily PLB style attack is kind of neat. It’s a way to have 1-prizers function in the modern meta. I also think it kind of activates cards that normally wouldn’t be useful, specifically Hero’s Medal VIV. Slap one of these bad boys on your Lance’s Dragonite VMAX and have your 1-prize dragons go to town while this sits on the bench.

Wording: 11/15
Just a few small things hurt big here.

Believability/Playability: 14/15
I’m taking off a single point because I think that on a real card, the damage output of Max Training would not be 210 with such good effects attached to it. I’m mostly thinking about Gardevoir CHR when doing this, because that card has a really easy way to get Stage 2s into play with Kirlia CHR’s Mirage Step and a fantastic ability that draws and accelerates energy, and to compensate, they tuned its attack numbers way down. I would bet they would do the same on Lance’s Dragonite. Overall though, I could see this being an archetype defining card that could see play, but be fair, especially in a Path to the Peak era.

Total: 41/50

Text Scores

3rd Place: ShaQuL’s Lance’s Dragonite VMAX, with 41/50 points.
2nd Place: Falling Skies’s Akari’s Pikachu, with 42/50 points.
1st Place: Vom’s Honchkrow, with 44/50 points.
 

Yaginku

Aspiring Trainer
Member
-Capitalize Weakness, Resistance, and Retreat Cost (-1 point for the first capitalization error, then -0.5 for the others for a total of -2 points)
The HGSS frame from which I based the wording has these three words quite distinctly in all-lower caps. But to be fair, now I checked other frames and it's actually the same font every single time, so it's a style issue.
432px-RattataUndaunted64.jpg
 

EM-isthmus

Feathered Biped
Member
Hope that all makes sense — tl;dr it's a grammatical thing, not a problem with the references or any ambiguity in how it would be played. Lmk if there's anything further I can clarify on this point. :)
I understand, but I have to say neither case really satisfies me.

I went through the results to give some feedback for @47bennyg, but it turned out a bit long, so I've put it in the spoiler below.
Wording Errors:
-HT and WT, not length and weight (-1 point)
-I think the beginning of Cool Setup can be simplified in wording:
“Each player searches their deck for a Basic Pokémon with the same name as one of their Basic Pokémon in play, puts it onto their bench, then shuffles their deck afterward.”
This is more modeled after HGSS Pichu, which has the closest effect. (-1 point)

Creativity/Originality: 15/20
While the Playground style effect of Cool Setup isn’t new, and neither is Swarm Voltage’s secondary effect (see Shiftry ex PK and Metagross ex PK), I do really appreciate the synergy between the two attacks. This is a good example of using existing TCG framework and taking your own spin on it.

Wording: 13/15
Well done, just some nitpicking here.

Believability/Playability: 14/15
A very believable card. With the current power level of the TCG, I would expect to see a bit more power in Swarm Voltage, whether it is removal of the coin flip or maybe reducing the energy cost in some way, (maybe [L][C] or just [L]), but overall well done here.
I'm not really sure how this was missed, but the creator of this card specified in a spoiler that this card was created and balanced for the e-Card era. As a result, using length and weight shouldn't be an error. As such, the Wording score seems to be entirely compromised. Even if the card was made for modern, a search effect would need "Then, each player shuffles their deck." at the end instead of "then shuffles their deck afterward", and "bench" should be capitalized as "Bench". As for an e-Card era card, it should be "Basic Pokémon card" instead of just "Basic Pokémon" with a search effect. While there are no e-Card or earlier cards that reference same name, the earliest instance uses "that has the same name" instead of "with the same name". Being a pre-SM card also means the card should use the "his or her" wording instead of "their". Personal opinions aside, it's still an error. This last part is more my opinion, but I wouldn't consider this card playable or believable in modern, so I have to say this category's score is very odd.

Wording Errors:
-Evolves from Blake’s Oshawott (-1 point)
-needs HT and WT in description (-1 point)
-Inspector needs some rewording. This Ability is definitely new and custom territory, but there are some spots where you could mimic the style of Pokémon’s wording better, and some places where the text isn’t very clear. Here is my attempt -
“Whenever your opponent draws cards or takes Prize cards, you may choose half of the cards obtained (minimum of 1, maximum of 4). Your opponent reveals those cards. When you play a Trainer card from your hand, you may search your deck for an Energy card and attach it to 1 of your Pokémon that has that type of Energy in one of its attack’s costs. Then, shuffle your deck.” (-3 points).
-Wording of Shell Blade is a little off and unclear. Here’s my attempt at making it better:
“Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 10 more damage for each Energy attached to your Benched Pokémon that is the same type as that Pokémon.” (-2 points)
This card is stated to be a Prism Star, so the error should be that it shouldn't have stats listed at all. As for the wording of the Ability, PTCG never uses "maximum" outside of HP, and "minimum" is never used at all. A possible wording for the first part would be "Whenever your opponent draws cards or takes Prize cards, you may have your opponent reveal up to 4 cards they put into their hand." Variable limits are always worded as "up to".

Wording Errors:
-If Rattata has been your Active Pokémon since the beginning…
Since refers to past tense, so update the tense of the first part of the sentence to match (-1 point)
-Capitalize Weakness, Resistance, and Retreat Cost (-1 point for the first capitalization error, then -0.5 for the others for a total of -2 points)
Yaginku already addressed the point about the capitalization, which I don't think should be penalized, as all eras have formatted these in all lower-case. Either way, the OP even says "Text-based fakers may format their entries any way they choose". However, the attack effect in the orignal post omits "Joey's" before "Rattata", which your suggested wording didn't correct either, and would have been its own error.

Wording Errors:
-Missing Basic Pokémon tag after name and HP (-1 point)
-Metal Melting should match similar “Make Do” style abilities in current SWSH wording and read:
You must discard a [M] Energy card from your hand in order to use this Ability. Once during your turn, you may draw a card.
(-2 points)
-Construction should match current SWSH wording on similar attacks and read:
During your opponent’s next turn, this Pokémon takes 20 less damage from attacks for each [M] Energy card in your discard pile.
-missing the é in Pokémon (-1 point)
-”Opponent’s” and “Pile” do not need capitalized (-1 point for the first capitalization error, then -0.5 for the others for a total of -2 points)
-Second attack is missing a name (-1 point)
-Second attack needs “Then, shuffle your deck” reminder text. (-3 points)
-Need to include amount of resistance (-30 in SWSH era) (-1 point)
I felt I should point out that the flavor text of this card also has some errors.

Wording Errors:
None that I can see.
Tate & Liza's Solrock & Lunatone-GX has some errors I feel were overlooked. When drawing more cards in modern, effect text states to draw "more cards" rather than a higher number "instead of" a lower number". As such the Ability should be worded "If this Pokémon is your Active Pokémon, draw another card at the beginning of your turn." "Either way" has not been used since the e-Card era, and it also isn't necessary here. Solar Eclipse GX should specify Pokémon Tools and Special Energy attached to Pokémon or in play, as they do not have effects otherwise. Additionally, if the GX attack reminder text is italicized, "(This includes cards that come into play on that turn.)" should be as well.

Wording Errors:
-Extra “damage from” in Young Drakes (-1 point)
-Missing a “then, shuffle your deck” clause from Max Training (-3 points).
-I think it might be more in line with what TPCi would do to have Max Training no Retreat Cost until the end of your next turn, (something like Bronzong AR), because it seems a bit weird that Lance’s Dragonite VMAX would still have 3 retreat during your opponents turn after you used the attack, then it would go down to 0 after your opponents turn. I’m honestly not sure if I’m right, but I figured I’d suggest this anyway (-0 points).
Pokémon do not "get Knocked Out", but rather "are Knocked Out", which is an error in the Ability wording. It also doesn't need to specify "Pokémon in play" as only Pokémon in play can be Knocked Out. See: Oricorio-GX and others. "You may search your deck for up to 2 Stage 1 [N] Pokémon or 1 Stage 2 [N] Pokémon" is missing "up to" before "1 Stage 2 [N] Pokémon". See: Sonia.

Wording Errors:
None that I can see.
Honchkrow has some wording errors that seem to have been overlooked. Starting with the Ability, it should specify "when you play Boss's Orders from your hand". I can't recall if PTCG ever uses so many "if" statements, so I'm not sure if this is an error, but it seems more natural to me to write "you may Knock Out 1 of your Benched Murkrow and flip a coin." Glimwood Tangle was used as a reference for "If tails, you may Knock Out 1 of your Benched Murkrow and flip again." but I think it would be more accurate as "If tails, you may Knock Out 1 of your Benched Murkrow to ignore the result of that coin flip and flip that coin again." The last part has no precedent for its wording, and could be better written as "If you use this Ability, your other Pokémon can't attack during this turn." This is more of a believability criticism, which is subjective, but I don't think there are any instances where you can search your deck or otherwise play cards during your opponent's turn, so I feel this should be reworked.
 
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bbb888

One Life. One Dream.
Member
Hey @EM-isthmus I like that you are being a secondary judge.
As for my entry...
I'm not sure about the Ability, do you have references of cards that updated their text from "draw X instead of (lower number)" to "draw more cards"?
I included "Either way" because what if I don't have Espeon, Solgaleo, Umbreon, or Lunala? I still want the opponent to flip tails from now on (and also if their Pokemon is already asleep or burned from other earlier effects).
The phrase "(This includes cards that come into play on that turn.)" is not italicized on Shiftry (Steam Siege #11).

@47bennyg 's feedback:
I agree with what you said about the GX attack.
However, Slowpoke & Psyduck-GX has 250 HP. Maybe 260 would have been more appropriate for my card, but that is off by only 10 HP!! You gonna take off a lot of points just for that?
As for the "really powerful lock" with Lunala... there are many Trainers, Abilities, and special energy that your opponent can use to heal Special Conditions or switch their Active mon, so I don't think it is that powerful.

Nonetheless, I appreciate everyone's feedback! :)
 

EM-isthmus

Feathered Biped
Member
Hey @EM-isthmus I like that you are being a secondary judge.
As for my entry...
I'm not sure about the Ability, do you have references of cards that updated their text from "draw X instead of (lower number)" to "draw more cards"?
I included "Either way" because what if I don't have Espeon, Solgaleo, Umbreon, or Lunala? I still want the opponent to flip tails from now on (and also if their Pokemon is already asleep or burned from other earlier effects).
The phrase "(This includes cards that come into play on that turn.)" is not italicized on Shiftry (Steam Siege #11).

@47bennyg 's feedback:
I agree with what you said about the GX attack.
However, Slowpoke & Psyduck-GX has 250 HP. Maybe 260 would have been more appropriate for my card, but that is off by only 10 HP!! You gonna take off a lot of points just for that?
As for the "really powerful lock" with Lunala... there are many Trainers, Abilities, and special energy that your opponent can use to heal Special Conditions or switch their Active mon, so I don't think it is that powerful.

Nonetheless, I appreciate everyone's feedback! :)
Pretty much every draw supporter from SM onwards that has conditional extra draw says "draw X more cards", such as CEC Roller Skater which says "Discard a card from your hand. If you do, draw 2 cards. If you discarded an Energy card in this way, draw 2 more cards." rather than "draw 4 cards instead of 2." "Either way" is unnecessary because that part of the text isn't attached to the same conditional. Either way(haha), a "for the rest of this game" effect is very hard to believe on a non-GX attack, as 47bennyg said. While STS Shiftry does not have it italicized, "(This includes Pokémon that come into play on that turn.)" was seen on a few cards in SM, such as TEU Cobalion-GX, so it stands to reason that this would have to be italicized as well.
 
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