Writing Blood Red

CrimsonFlame

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Intro

"After coming back from his training, only to discover he had been dethroned, Trainer Red, in a mad rampage, battled his way through Kanto in a furious rush to the league. In his anger, he commanded his pokemon to kill all who opposed them. This demonstration of power not only put him back on top, but made him into a power-hungry figure of authority. Trainers feared him and his legendary team, and with the newly crowned champion away, there was no one to stop him. Red not only took back his crown with ease, but established what was almost a dictatorship in the league. The elite four listened to his every command, and, in fear of being crushed by their power, so did the gyms.

From the ripple of these events, Kanto fell apart, trainers new and old taking example from this new Red character that they had all looked up to once before. Pokemon were trained to kill, and battling became a bloodsport. The minimum age one could receive a pokemon was raised, as now, a pokemon was just as deadly as a knife, a gun, or, if strong enough, a bomb. Having a pokemon, whether it was weak or strong, marked you as a target that any other trainer could challenge, and if you and your team weren't strong enough to hold your own, you could be killed, and brushed aside, as just another soul forgotten in this new chaotic dystopia.

Satisfied with his work, Red sat atop the league and watched, as his master plan unfolded perfectly. With pokemon battling now a sport of life or death, no trainer would ever survive to be strong enough to challenge him again. However, deep down, something kept eating away at him. When he had returned from his training, long ago, before any of this madness had happened, he had learned of a boy who had risen from nothing, like he had, and traveled all the way to the top. The boy who dethrowned him, who caused this, was away when Red had come to take back his title. Red had never seen him, never seen what he was capable of. With this eating away at him, he would never be able to rest easy. He found out who the boy was, and where he had gone. This boy, by the name of Mike (a rather boring name, Red thought) was away in the Kalos region, starting from scratch, proving his worth as a trainer by taking on another league. The boy, Red found out, originated from Johto, but was not expected to be back to his home for quite a few years longer. This was plenty of time for Red to take care of things.

Establishing Lance the Dragon trainer as champion of Kanto for the duration of his journey, Red took a team, more of an army, in fact, of his now-loyal followers, to Johto. Without any warning of what was going on, not knowing that Kanto trainers were now bred to kill, Johto's gyms had no chance, and were crushed easily in Red's newest bloodlust. Johto fell as easy as Kanto did, in only half the time, and soon the trainers there were brainwashed into the same state of mind as those in Kanto; kill, or be killed.

Years later, present day, Red still waits for the boy to come back to his home, no doubt with a second championship in his hand. With local news stations broadcasting the parade of the Saviors of Kalos, one of them being the new champion, Red knew it was only a matter of time..."

End

Hello!
Welcome to my debut story on these forums. I'm going to keep this short, but I just wanted to write a short little blurb to let you know what's happening:
This is a story inspire by the Soul Silver Hard Mode Run (nuzlocke) that I am currently running. That means the story can only be written as I have time to play the game. I am open to any and all criticism that will help make my writing better. I am also open to (and really want) any fan-art that my or may not be inspired by reading this story. PM it to me and I'll post it if I like it! (Hopefully that doesn't sound... er... self-centered or anything... I just wish I could draw so I ask other people to do it for me.)

Anyway, thank you for reading, and enjoy.

Episode 1 Coming Soon
 
I really like your prologue and angle you have for Red's loss of reputation. Most people look up to him, but to see him kicked off the stereotype is very creative! Then, soon after, you set him on top with such mercilessness that I'm really surprised how much he differs from the comic-version of Red. The best part about this, though, is that it is based off of your own nuzlocke. It's really cool to write about what you're doing in the game, and even more so when you're writing as you play. My main advice to you is this: adjectives are very useful tools in establishing a central tone, and your word choice of those adjectives is important. You did not present many, though there was some great plot detail, and I think that by describing what is going on may help the audience understand more of what you're suggesting.

Just a quick fix:

Red knew it was only a matter of time..."

Keep up the progress! :p Can't wait to see how you continue!
 
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