Writing A Rhyme That Words With Orange

Shivershaft

Shivershaft

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Another one of my songs, I've been getting a lot better as far as songwriting, and I think you guy's are gonna notice it, maybe. Idk.

Now please sing me a song
Where I know i'll hum along
Nothing intricate, so how's the weather?
---
Write a poem or two
About how you're feeling blue
Nothing serious and it's been better
---
I'm no ordinaire
And I would rather care
About important things like global warming
I'm no scientist
But I think this tropic mist
Is burning through my skin and bones like nothing
---
Now please sing me a song
Where I know i'll hum along
Nothing intricate, so how's the weather?
---
Write a poem or two
About how you're feeling blue
Nothing serious and it's been better
---
The doctor's calling in
They said I'm sick again
They think they found the cure to being happy
And I said oh what a catch
Donnie you've got my back
Please tell wife and kids they never met me
---
Now please sing me a song
Where I know i'll hum along
Nothing intricate, so how's the weather?
---
Write a poem or two
About how you're feeling blue
Nothing serious and it's been better
---
Now please sing me a song
Where I know i'll hum along
Nothing intricate, so how's the weather?
---
I'm just your average man
Who writes without his hands
Let's wish our lives away and forget that's where we stand
 
I have to admit, that title really got my attention.

Not exactly knowledgeable about to begin with anyhow, but the lyrics seem to be overall good. I'd probably have the last word of the phrase: "But I think this tropic mist / Is burning through my skin and bones like nothing" changed, unless you mean to say that the mist isn't doing anything at all (Under that scenario, I'd be a tad confused).
 
Zyflair said:
I have to admit, that title really got my attention.

Not exactly knowledgeable about to begin with anyhow, but the lyrics seem to be overall good. I'd probably have the last word of the phrase: "But I think this tropic mist / Is burning through my skin and bones like nothing" changed, unless you mean to say that the mist isn't doing anything at all (Under that scenario, I'd be a tad confused).
Click to expand...

The line is talking about acid rain, but it's a play on words, since acid rain isn't literally "acid" rain, but i depict it as such. In the line i've been thinking about dropping "like nothing" since i cant quite remember the flow i had before, using nothing. xD
 
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