I was gonna enter this for Scampy's story contest but decided to go with another entry. Now what I want with this one is just some comments about my writing style, whether you see any room for improvement. Any advice is very appreciated.
Finding your Luck
"Gardevoir is down! I repeat, Gardevoir is down! Garchomp is the winner! Cynthia once again stands as the winner and prolongs her title as Sinnoh Champion!"
Almost in tears, Lou jumped off the stage from which he had commanded his Pokémon in the final battle against Cynthia. He had almost won, but Gardevoir couldn't take on Cynthia's Garchomp. He carefully lifted his trusted Pokémon up, asking "Are you alright Gardevoir?" Gardevoir looked up, nodding her head, before closing her eyes. He looked up at Cynthia, who was being hailed as champion. "I'll show you all...just you wait"
It had been a hectic week. Right after the ceremony where Lou recieved his second place trophy, he had rushed back to his hometown in Johto, Blackthorn. There, he was hailed by his former mentor Clair and his family. He had been competing in Johto, Kanto and now Sinnoh, and had never been this close to becoming the winner. It was Clair who told him about the region of Hoenn, a huge tropical island. Lou liked the idea of competing there, in much sunnier conditions compared to the cold, harsh climate of Sinnoh, and as such left his Pokemon behind in Clair's care before setting off to Hoenn, Gardevoir being his only companion.
After arriving in Slateport's harbor, he bought himself a map of the region. Looking over it with Gardevoir, he began setting a route. "It seems the fastest way to a gym would be to head North, to this town called Mauville...so what do you say Gardevoir?" The Pokémon kept silent for a few moments, then nodded. "Gard, Gardevoir Garde". To the untrained ear that would be normal Pokémon brabbling, but Lou could understand everything she said, having a psychic connection with her. "Alright then, time for our new journey."
Walking through the countryside north of Slateport, Lou spotted several Pokémon he had only seen in competitions and videos before. Electrikes, Gulpins, Plusles, Minuns, Roselia... all very common Pokémon. None of then really caught his fancy though, as he was only looking for Pokémon he deemed cool or beautiful. Before too long, he and his Gardevoir found themselves at a small pond, pausing for a little while. Lou went for a quick dive while Gardevoir preferred to just sit on the side, her feet in the water.
As Lou emerged from a quick dive, he was alarmed by a sudden cry. Looking towards the shore, he spotted several men in odd Red/Black getups, who had thrown a net over his Gardevoir. "Hey, what's the big idea, leave my Pokémon alone!" He yelled, starting to make his way to the shore. "It's not your Pokémon. Not anymore at least." one of the men declared, before hoisting the unfortunate Gardevoir up and starting to run away, along with his partner. "Gardevoir, stop them with your psychic power!" Lou yelled, but as Gardevoir tried her best to get out of the net, her efforts were stopped short by the powers of a Sableye. "Oh no..." he mumbled as he got up, as the lead the odd men had gotten on him seemingly was too huge. "STOP!" he yelled as he started running.
It was then when something strange happened. A quick lightning flash blasted at the men from a tree, knocking them against a tree, Gardevoir landing above them. This gave the Pokémon the chance to escape and Lou to catch up. The men had recovered from their crash, but suddenly an odd white and red Pokémon appeared, blasting the two away with a force so pure, the sparkles created from the blast looked like diamonds. Lou had finally gotten Gardevoir back and then looked at the odd Pokemon. "Th-Thank you" He muttered, amazed by how pretty it was. The odd Pokémon nodded with a smile, and then flew off. "Latias..." he heard in his head, coming from Gardevoir. The name was unfamiliar with Lou, but he knew he had just witnessed something only very few humans would ever see.
"Metagross goes down! Lou is the new Hoenn champion!"
It had been a year after Lou's encounter with Latias. He and Gardevoir were a stronger team then ever before, and were able to claw themselves up to the finals of the Hoenn League, where Steven Stone was their final opponent. His Metagross proved to be not strong enough to cope with Gardevoir's tremendous psychic powers and fell. Lou smiled, and as he looked up to the sky, he could swear he saw Latias again, smiling back. It was a sign, he knew. Fortune was smiling on him ever since that faithful encounter, just north of Slateport. Ever since, he had won all his battles. Caught every Pokémon he had set his eyes on. Everything went perfect.
Finding your Luck
"Gardevoir is down! I repeat, Gardevoir is down! Garchomp is the winner! Cynthia once again stands as the winner and prolongs her title as Sinnoh Champion!"
Almost in tears, Lou jumped off the stage from which he had commanded his Pokémon in the final battle against Cynthia. He had almost won, but Gardevoir couldn't take on Cynthia's Garchomp. He carefully lifted his trusted Pokémon up, asking "Are you alright Gardevoir?" Gardevoir looked up, nodding her head, before closing her eyes. He looked up at Cynthia, who was being hailed as champion. "I'll show you all...just you wait"
It had been a hectic week. Right after the ceremony where Lou recieved his second place trophy, he had rushed back to his hometown in Johto, Blackthorn. There, he was hailed by his former mentor Clair and his family. He had been competing in Johto, Kanto and now Sinnoh, and had never been this close to becoming the winner. It was Clair who told him about the region of Hoenn, a huge tropical island. Lou liked the idea of competing there, in much sunnier conditions compared to the cold, harsh climate of Sinnoh, and as such left his Pokemon behind in Clair's care before setting off to Hoenn, Gardevoir being his only companion.
After arriving in Slateport's harbor, he bought himself a map of the region. Looking over it with Gardevoir, he began setting a route. "It seems the fastest way to a gym would be to head North, to this town called Mauville...so what do you say Gardevoir?" The Pokémon kept silent for a few moments, then nodded. "Gard, Gardevoir Garde". To the untrained ear that would be normal Pokémon brabbling, but Lou could understand everything she said, having a psychic connection with her. "Alright then, time for our new journey."
Walking through the countryside north of Slateport, Lou spotted several Pokémon he had only seen in competitions and videos before. Electrikes, Gulpins, Plusles, Minuns, Roselia... all very common Pokémon. None of then really caught his fancy though, as he was only looking for Pokémon he deemed cool or beautiful. Before too long, he and his Gardevoir found themselves at a small pond, pausing for a little while. Lou went for a quick dive while Gardevoir preferred to just sit on the side, her feet in the water.
As Lou emerged from a quick dive, he was alarmed by a sudden cry. Looking towards the shore, he spotted several men in odd Red/Black getups, who had thrown a net over his Gardevoir. "Hey, what's the big idea, leave my Pokémon alone!" He yelled, starting to make his way to the shore. "It's not your Pokémon. Not anymore at least." one of the men declared, before hoisting the unfortunate Gardevoir up and starting to run away, along with his partner. "Gardevoir, stop them with your psychic power!" Lou yelled, but as Gardevoir tried her best to get out of the net, her efforts were stopped short by the powers of a Sableye. "Oh no..." he mumbled as he got up, as the lead the odd men had gotten on him seemingly was too huge. "STOP!" he yelled as he started running.
It was then when something strange happened. A quick lightning flash blasted at the men from a tree, knocking them against a tree, Gardevoir landing above them. This gave the Pokémon the chance to escape and Lou to catch up. The men had recovered from their crash, but suddenly an odd white and red Pokémon appeared, blasting the two away with a force so pure, the sparkles created from the blast looked like diamonds. Lou had finally gotten Gardevoir back and then looked at the odd Pokemon. "Th-Thank you" He muttered, amazed by how pretty it was. The odd Pokémon nodded with a smile, and then flew off. "Latias..." he heard in his head, coming from Gardevoir. The name was unfamiliar with Lou, but he knew he had just witnessed something only very few humans would ever see.
"Metagross goes down! Lou is the new Hoenn champion!"
It had been a year after Lou's encounter with Latias. He and Gardevoir were a stronger team then ever before, and were able to claw themselves up to the finals of the Hoenn League, where Steven Stone was their final opponent. His Metagross proved to be not strong enough to cope with Gardevoir's tremendous psychic powers and fell. Lou smiled, and as he looked up to the sky, he could swear he saw Latias again, smiling back. It was a sign, he knew. Fortune was smiling on him ever since that faithful encounter, just north of Slateport. Ever since, he had won all his battles. Caught every Pokémon he had set his eyes on. Everything went perfect.
Its not about type matching here.
