Writing A Poem By Me

Shivershaft

Shivershaft

I've returned
Member
Had to do it for school, the pattern is A-8, A-8, B-6, B-6, A-8.

Boardwalk

The Sun, The Surf, The Sand I need

Every day; It's what I plead

Rip it and hang with friends

Don't let this summer end

It's all I need: Let it proceed

:>

Comment or critique if you may =)​
 
RE: A Limerick By Me

A Limerick is intended for humor, the last line normally holding the punch line. There's nothing funny about this.

Good poem though.
 
RE: A Limerick By Me

Yeah, this doesn't seem like a limerick to me. The syllable count's off. :/ I thought it was like 9-9-5-5-7 or something like that.

And also, Iiii'm not entirely sure that the humor part's right, Zy. I don't remember that being any part of a limerick's requirements. :/

The poem itself feels a little awkward structured as a limerick. I dunno, maybe it's the short 4-syllable sentences (connected by the semicolon). It just feels off and strange and not incredibly poetic. Maybe if you separated the last line, it'd feel a bit better as a poem? And maybe a rephrase of that last word? It seems too sing-song at the end for something you seem to so desperately want in your life to be taken seriously. That's all me, though. Like I know the first thing about correct-sounding poetry! HA!
 
RE: A Limerick By Me

Zyflair said:
A Limerick is intended for humor, the last line normally holding the punch line. There's nothing funny about this.
Click to expand...

The joke is that he tried to write a poem?

No just kidding haha.

But yeah I'm gonna have to agree...this isn't the best limerick I've seen. It needs some work. :p
 
RE: A Limerick By Me

<scampy> "There once was a really good poem, the rhythm and all was flowin', the best poem ever, far beyond clever, but this isnt it stop reading"

You can learn a lot from me, you know...
 
RE: A Limerick By Me

Crystal Hikara said:
And also, Iiii'm not entirely sure that the humor part's right, Zy. I don't remember that being any part of a limerick's requirements. :/
Click to expand...
Just quickly browsing, I got all of this in a minute:
http://volweb.utk.edu/school/bedford/harrisms/limerick.htm
http://www.poetry-online.org/limericks.htm
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-limerick.htm (<- Most factual)
http://www.leraconteur.scriptmania.com/limerickexplain.htm

From the third link, there is also an accent requirement, and - rereading the poem - I can tell you don't know about that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top