Writing (Writing Practice?) XY Re-imagining

[VioletValkyrie]

Recently, I've been trying to write a lot, and that's always ended with a lot of disappointment due to not being able to stay motivated on what I'm writing. I didn't want this to be released this soon, as it's still not finished, and I don't want to be on the other end of waiting for a story's next chapter to be released on the internet. I've been on the receiving end of it so many times. Hell, this entire thing was just meant to be a long one-shot.
But I wanted to release this now to let people know that while my work will be slow to make and I'll always be unsure of it, it's coming along and I'm trying not to give up. I'm considering this writing practice more than an actual full piece of writing, because I'm still trying to improve, and this is something new I thought I would try.
As with everything I write, or tried to write, I'm excited to try something new with an ending, but after I thought about it some more, the ending may just be Chapter Two or Three. Keep an eye out.

Obvious spoilers for Pokemon X and Y are ahead. If you haven't completed the game yet, or at the very least, don't have all eight badges of Kalos, proceed at your own risk.

Enjoy, my thanks for people are after the spoilers containing the chapters.

Spoiler: Chapter One: The Threat

Everything happened so suddenly. So quickly as if it wasn't even real.
But it was. She knew it was. No matter how hard she wished it wasn't.

There she stood overlooking the sea of Northern Kalos, pink rays of light seemingly shining behind her as she waited and waited, her Meowstic beside her.
She didn't want to train. She knew that no matter how hard she trained, he would always beat her. All she could do was wait.

Only ten minutes passed. Never enough time for an ordinary trainer to obtain their gym badge. Especially from this gym. But he was different.
With his team and that ring wrapped tightly around his wrist, she knew he would be the next to step into the Hall of Fame.
A slight vibration ran through her bag. She opened a pocket hastily pulled out a small device.
She knew it wouldn't have taken him long. She returned Meowstic to its Pokeball and ran from the sea, back into the light-filled city.
And there he was.

His new badge in hand, the two walked down the street to the Pokemon Center, eagerly locked in conversation about his most recent battle.
But something made them stop. A vibration ran through their bags. They looked around to see the same had happened to the other citizens.

The message was so sudden.
But they couldn't help but wonder why.
Why was this happening?
How could he do this?

She knew exactly where to go. He threw a Pokeball into the air, opening to reveal a flash of light, disappearing to show a Talonflame in its place.
Southwards they flew, as they landed besides the unmistakable beacon of hope for all of Kalos.
But this time, what they felt was not happiness nor excitement, just like the first time.

What the two felt was fear.

As the two landed, helping her off the Pokemon, he returned it to its Pokeball, and taking her hand, he ran.
They had no time to spare.
Running through the streets of downtown Lumiose, she couldn't help but wonder what he planned. But more importantly, why.

Entering the red building and sliding the shelves to show a hidden entrance, they entered.
They ran through the lab as fast as they could, warp pad by warp pad, and destroying any Team Flare member they met.
Returning to the elevator, they entered and hit the elevator's glowing buttons. They left and ran down the stairs.

With the key in Lysandre's possession, the two had no option but to follow deeper into the lab.
Did he really have the potential to choose the fate of the world?
Was he really the chosen one?
She was left to watch him and Xerosic as her mind flooded with these thoughts.
As he ended the battle in victory, she no doubt that he could.

As his finger pushed the button, a flush of anger filled through both of them.
They could do nothing but watch as the weapon had been powered even after making the correct choice.
She grit her teeth and curled her fingers into a fist. She wanted to strike. But they couldn't stay.
They had to run. They had to stop this. He grabbed her arm and they ran out. They both had faith he could fix this. And they flew.

After this first chapter has gone up, I'd like to thank PikaMasterJesi for support and motivational help, as well as the now inactive Thegrovylekid.
But I'd also now like to thank Jabberwock and Vracken for their small contributions to the existence of this piece of writing, as well as anyone who saw my Black Randomlocke and wanted me to continue writing.

 

[VinculumStellarum]

Whoa, you're back! And with a story, too! I love seeing when people post stories here, and I'm really glad to see you showing off your work, even if it's not quite finished at the time! My stuff isn't always finished when I post it either, you know.

That being said, I think what you have is pretty good so far! I could really feel the peace and tension in the characters and events. The only problem I had with it though was that there wasn't enough detail. For the most part, I felt like I was reading a white screen with people on it. I couldn't really get a sense of where I was, and I wanted to know more. The part where I felt he most immersed into the settings was in the streets of Lumiose. It's possible you could've been going for something more minimalistic, but even for something like that, it just needed a bit more, in my opinion.

I hope you continue to write this and eventually finish it!

 

[Vracken]

Yea, I really like the style, makes it easy to read, it is fast to do so, and it flows nicely which are positives. I am glad you are writing, even if you don't think you will finish how you have written it makes it work as almost a poem form of short writing, so you can easily switch to just choosing moments that you want to write about, as I know many writers give up when they get to less interesting parts of the story. One of the advantages of using pre existing material is that you can easily take those moments and write exclusively about them.

Also thanks for the acknowledgement even though I didn't do anything it gives me the warm fuzzils inside :3
^w^

p.s. I am not a writer, if I am wrong on these things, they are just an observation from someone who likes to think about stuff ^w^

 

[VioletValkyrie]

Yea, I really like the style, makes it easy to read, it is fast to do so, and it flows nicely which are positives. I am glad you are writing, even if you don't think you will finish how you have written it makes it work as almost a poem form of short writing, so you can easily switch to just choosing moments that you want to write about, as I know many writers give up when they get to less interesting parts of the story. One of the advantages of using pre existing material is that you can easily take those moments and write exclusively about them.

Also thanks for the acknowledgement even though I didn't do anything it gives me the warm fuzzils inside :3
^w^

p.s. I am not a writer, if I am wrong on these things, they are just an observation from someone who likes to think about stuff ^w^

Awesome, the flow of my writing's always been something I've been concerned about, never knowing sure if it's good or not.
I never thought of the idea of poem form, that's really neat. I might do a bit of playing around with that in the future.

My reason for thanking you wasn't really because of looking over my work or directly cheering me on, but rather giving me positivity just by being around, and recently getting to talk to you more has lifted my mood and helped me get out of this loss of motivation. I really appreciate it.

I don't mind the fact that you don't write, it's nice to see those who aren't interested in creating their own ideas enjoying those of others, and it's good to have ideas and critique coming from those who do and don't have interest in it, as they may pick up different things or suggest different ideas.