Unwanted Online Attention

[haloka]

so here's something i've been needing to get off my chest. i feel pretty comfortable here, so why not rant to you guys.

so here's the thing. i'm a female online.

the issue is, i'm a female online.

a lot of times, on other websites and just different places, i get a lot of unwanted attention from (mostly younger) guys.

all i need to say is, i wish all of them could see this is,

i am not interested in you

i'm not here to entertain you

and, second time for more effect,

i am not interested in you

when i say that i'm not interested in someone, they draw two conclusions, and neither of those conclusions are right.

it's not because i don't want a partner, it's because i don't want you.

not only am i not interested in an online relationship, but approaching me with toxic "compliments" is also not a good idea.

i swear.

i just needed to blow off some steam, i'm good now.

 

[bbb888]

I think if you hide your gender online, people will be less likely to hit on you.

 

[haloka]

I think if you hide your gender online, people will be less likely to hit on you.

i get that, but i don't want to have to be in a reality where i have to hide who i am. i'm proud of who i am and i won't let that be taken away.

 

[bbb888]

i get that, but i don't want to have to be in a reality where i have to hide who i am. i'm proud of who i am and i won't let that be taken away.

Online is not reality, and you have to protect yourself online. But outside of that, offline, you can be proud and whatever.
Tough times never last but tough people do.
If this bothers you so much, consider being offline more and enjoy the real reality

 

[Jinjer]

obviously not here, but my facebook account gets these from time to time:

the compliments i can handle, it could get creepy sometimes but whatever...

the proposals, though? ugh, block 'em all, i say!

 

[King Arceus]

I sometimes randomly get friend requests on Facebook or Skype. If it's Skype I make them tell me how they know me and what they want before deciding if I'll accept the request. Facebook it depends. If it is someone who has a lot of the same friends as me I am more likely to accept it.

 

[Otaku]

Hmm...

Understandably this is not something with which I have a lot of first hand experience.

So why comment at all? Well, the behavior you describe isn't unique to unwanted advances. There is this major disconnect a lot of people have with the internet versus "real life". No, I don't mean @King Arceus comments, at least reading them in context. There have always been circumstances where people could take advantage of situations where they were functionally anonymous to basically be a jerk. Not a criminal, just rude and not have to worry about bad behavior actually coming back to haunt them. There have also always been those who enjoy cheering on or even joining in with someone else's bad behavior.

The internet just makes this so much easier. Then the mixed message of "the internet isn't real" has some treating it like a giant video game. They don't really think of you as real so they say outrageous things to get a response. So... ignore them if that is your only option. While going online is a part of life, it is usually not a vital part of life so consider reducing time spent where you will be exposed to such things, at least if it bothers you this much. Because that is real life; sometimes people do the wrong thing but there isn't any recourse but to minimize your exposure to it. Of course, if you do have a means of reporting such bad behavior such as through say a message boards rules and moderation team, do so.