The Worst In People

I was bullied A LOT as a kid, it still messes with me a bit. I went through an extraordinary amount of different kinds of abuse as a child and the last thing I needed, was to be picked on. I was sent to the principal once when I tapped another kid on the shoulder to ask him a question relating to an assignment we where doing. He punched me in the stomach so hard the wind was knocked out of me. I got in trouble for it, apparently, I was the one causing a problem in the principals eyes at least. Once I hit middle school and there where other kids from other elementary schools around, I was able to blend in a little more and I wasn't really bullied anymore. Then in high school, once puberty was in full swing, I started to put on weight. I was already self conscious and others made it worse. When I graduated high school, I started to meet new people, the whole world opened up and I found other people who where like me, outcasts, "nerds", geeks, ect. I suffered an eating disorder during the last part of high school and my first year after graduation. Once I had lost all this weight and basically looked like a different person, I ran into some of my old "friends" the people I thought where my friends but really, they where talking smack behind my back to back then..well, when they saw me, suddenly they all thought I was so cool. I remember one guy who used to hate me for no reason saying to me one day "Wow, I never realized how cool and nice you where." It made me sad, because I thought to myself, the ONLY thing that's changed is me on the outside..I'm still me! I stopped hanging out with those people all together. I found my band of misfits, and we are all close.
I'm 35 now, I have a son who is 16. He gets made fun of often. I know it hurts him, and it breaks my heart because I remember EXACTLY what it feels like. I try to tell him this...this is temporary..VERY temporary. These people who are making fun of you, they won't matter in another year. Chances are, the reason they are mean, is because they are insecure, or suffering through their own issues and sadly, the only way they know how to deal with it is to make fun of someone else. It's okay though, because VERY soon, you will find more and more people just like you. All those crappy people, they won't really matter anymore. Sure, you will still have moments of self-doubt but you will also realize that EVERYONE in this world has faults, issues, and skeletons in their closets. So the next time someone picks on you, or you get jealous because it seems like someone has it all..the looks, the grades, the friends, the material stuff..chances are they have some pretty messed up stuff going on with them to. Just be you!! If that's not good enough for someone..well...F*ck em! Their loss! Don't let negative people bring you down. This life only happens once, it's far too short and too precious to waste on cruddy people and worrying about what they think. <3 yourself EVERY day. :)
 
Just want to point out that 5'9" and 140 lbs is really rather small. My brother is this size almost exactly, and we give him crap for being to skinny and not eating enough most of the time. Didn't realize that some people found this to be large, I mean I'm 5'11" and around 160, and I'm pretty confident in how I look and how "big" I am. Most bigger people look at me like I'm an idiot if I say I want to lose weight, but if I want to be competitive in college level cross country I really need to be smaller.

Anywho, to be more contributory, I would have to say that yes, most of the time I do "see" the worst in what people say. This is primarily because I am similar to you in that I lack confidence in my social ability, and I know that several people notice this and many of them are taking advantage of it for their own pleasure. I do want to point out that it MAY get better in college. People tend to be more accepting and understanding, and there is a larger concentration of people who are intelligent, quiet, and not very confident in themselves. So something to look forward to, although that might not always be the case, I shy away from making generalizations.
 
There are people who just need to get wrkt. I've only been a cashier for a month and a half now, but one customer stood out to me, even though it was recent. Tuesday, I was checking a couple out. It was about 8:30, so it was like, dead. I was talking to my brother about a gift for our mom (who's birthday was the next day) and I was broke. The woman butted in and said "Yeah, I don't care. Keep scanning." I chose to attempt to kill her by looking at her, which didn't work. I decided to keep giving her service, even though I contemplated denying it. Five minutes later, she grabbed onto the son of the mother behind them in line, said "Those aren't yours, go back to your mom because she obviously isn't paying attention." She then shoved him back. I stopped scanning out of shock and disgust. The rest of the check-out was uneventful, but I remember telling my friend Noah when I went on break "The bitch-hand is strong in this one."

I seriously hate it when people freaking act like they own everything and are better than everybody. They have a special place for my hatred: I use their souls for entertainment in a Colloseum.
 
I would have smashed her eggs while she wasn't looking, and then spit in her milk.

But in all seriousness those are the things that make workplaces exciting- things that are different from the norm and stand out. I don't get flipped off on the road very often, but when It does finally happen, I just bust up laughing cause people get so angry over stupid things- just like this kind lady who apparently likes to shove little children.
 
When you see such events but do not participate in any way, or when you later think about them, it can indeed prove funny. It's not that funny when it happens, though. There are certain cases that it does, but usually it makes you explode-internally or externally.
Here's a rather stupid incident: I once saw a woman walking in the middle of the road. A car was coming and I figured she would move on the sidewalk, but she didn't. She just continued to walk. The car slowed down behind her. The driver called at her, but she ignored him. Meanwhile, other cars started to get in line behind her. I called at her and asked her why isn't she moving out of the way. She replied "Why should I? They aren't gonna run me over!". At that point, I really wished they would.
 
Do I see the worst in what people say? Honestly, I used to, all the time. I was constantly picked on as a kid and they would tease me about my weight, liking those "stupid Japanese" shows, liking video games, etc. So when middle school hit and people started to actually care about their bodies they would constantly mock my body and be generally bad people. It continued up until last year. Then a whole long story happened that Red Rain knows about towards the end of the school year and this year, coupled with the new people and people finally leaving me alone. I was able to make new friends. They are great friends, and are honest when they compliment how I look. It took a long time for me to get used to it and not think they were mocking me, but now, I've learned they are not.
 
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