A series of Xiaolin Showdown tales

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poke_master1

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CHAPTER 1: ATTACK ON THE TEMPLE

"Ruby of Ramses!" Omi shouted, using the telekenetic wu to carefuly put the last brick on the barricade wall which was designed to protect the vault from raids. Suddenly, out of the blue, Jack Spicer came through the wall using the intagibility effect of the Serpent's Tail, and came out with a bag of wu.
"So long, losers!" Shouted Jack. "Jack! Don't gloat!" Shouted Wuya. Then Jack and Wuya flew into the blue. "Omi?" said Kimiko. " Master Fung said he needed to see us in the front." Omi followed Kimiko into the front of the temple to see what Master Fung had to say...

Soon: CHAPTER 2: A BRAND NEW DRAGON, A BRAND NEW LEADER
 
CHAP 2: A NEW DRAGON, A NEW LEADER

" Dragons, this is Ricky. He has shown exeptionel skills, so he will begin at Dragon level. Also, he returned the Shen Gong Wu that fell off dojo 2 weeks ogo, the Golden Tiger Claws and Sowrd of the Storm,so he will replace Raimundo as team leader. His element is electricity." Master Fung said. Suddenly, Dojo slithered in. " Guys, I'm sensing a new wu, and it's a doozy. Since Ricy's the new guy, he gets to get it." Ricky grabbed the Lotus Twister and the Lasso Boa Boa and hopped onto Dojo and the Dragons took off.


SOON: RICKY'S FIRST SHOWDOWN!
 
This isn't a story, it's just some words put together in a strange pattern.
Also, I found many spelling mistakes.
And the chapters should be much longer, and more detailed. More like:

Chapter # 1: Attack on the Temple
"Ruby of Ramses!" Omi shouted as he used telekinetic Wu to place the last brick on the barricade wall, which was to protect the vault from raids.
Omi then took a step back and admired his work. The bricks were placed in a nice pattern, but had taken longer time than if he had done it by hand, which meant that he had to train more on his speed....



You should also explain what a Lasso Boa Boa and a Lotus Twister is, cause for the unknowing, that is really hard to understand. (If you wonder, I have never, ever seen or heard of Xiaolin Showdown before now.)

I give you 2/10, for trying.
 
RICKY'S FIRST SHOWDOWN!!!
"The wu is called the Wing of Typhon. It lets you breathe fire!" Said Dojo. "Sweet! just what I need!" Said Raimundo sarcasticly. "Wer'e here! Said Dojo. Ricky lunged for the Wing of Typhon, but Jack Spicer got to it at the same time. "Jack, I challenge tou to a Shen Yi Bu Double Dare! My Lotus twister, Lasso Boa Boa, and Omi's Golden Tiger Claws and Mikado Arm for your Jetbootsu ,Tangle Web Comb and Tubbimura's Shroud of Shadows and Fist of Tebigong. The game is Last man standing." Said Ricky. "We accept!" Said Tubbimura. "Let's go, Xiaol
 
RE:  A series of Xiaolin Showdown tales

FireMeowth said:
This isn't a story, it's just some words put together in a strange pattern.
Also, I found many spelling mistakes.
And the chapters should be much longer, and more detailed. More like:

Chapter # 1: Attack on the Temple
"Ruby of Ramses!" Omi shouted as he used telekinetic Wu to place the last brick on the barricade wall, which was to protect the vault from raids.
Omi then took a step back and admired his work. The bricks were placed in a nice pattern, but had taken longer time than if he had done it by hand, which ment that he had to train more on his speed....



You should also explain what a Lasso Boa Boa and a Lotus Twister is, cause for the unknowing, that is really hard to understand. (If you wonder, I have never, ever seen or heard of Xialon Showdown before now.)

I give you 2/10, for trying.
Click to expand...
a lasso boa boa is a type of weapon that when called upon extends(it is a lasso)the golden tiger claws allow the user to teleport and the a lotus twister can extend peoples limbs
 
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