I've edited enough articles to the point to where I'm thinking, "hey! I know the deal and can write one of these, easy-peasy!" Then I remembered that I ended the season with 40 CP, bombed Dallas Regional with 1-4-1; and that because of my super low seniority on the PokeBeach staff, I'm the one that gets everyone else's complicated Starbucks orders. So while the Premium articles are a "dress shirt and slacks" deal, this is more of a "Hawaiian shirt in an illegal gambling venue". So here we are with a completely blown introduction and a lack of a paywall. And if you're expecting any sort of cool or awesome content beyond this point; grab a bucket because your future is about to be filled with tears.
This article is all about hopes, dreams, and memes. Gotta love those new set spoilers, right? Everyone is clamoring about how Unown DAMAGE has a legit combo that can win games under the assumption that your opponent has an aneurysm and does nothing to stop you. As a former Yugioh player that specialized in heavy draw engine FTKs for five years, I said "DAMAGE sucks. HAND action is where it's at!"
All three of the Unowns require being Active for their Ability to work. One of them requires an opponent having 12 Supporters in the Lost Zone. That Unown sucks. DAMAGE requires 66 damage counters on your side of the field. And HAND requires you to have 35+ cards in your hand. I spent a good part of a week trying to get a HAND first turn kill to work, because I want to play MY way, and not let the opponent play at all. I just want to prove to my opponents how much of a clever boy I am for using something that, on the surface, looks really craptacular--and make them regret it. That's how it worked in Yugioh, I figured it'd work here too.
We are going to look at the finalized decklist and then we'll go into cards that I tried, but ended up not working as a result and how it all worked out.
[premium]
DECKLIST
POKEMON: 1
1 - Unown (HAND)
TRAINERS: 44
4 - Whitney
4 - Roller Skates
4 - Battle Compressor
4 - Energy Spinner
4 - Random Receiver
4 - Trainer's Mail
4 - Gym Badge
4 - Order Pad
4 - Acro Bike
4 - Reserved Ticket
2 - Professor's Letter
1 - Heat Factory Prism Star
ENERGY: 16
16 - Fire Energy
HOW IT WORKS
Since you only have ONE Pokemon, you're going to automatically have Unown in the active, so that's one step out of the way. Beyond that, you want to draw into Battle Compressor 3 Whitney in the discard pile and Random Receiver into the 4th so you can draw 7 cards right off the bat. From there, just run hot draw like a maniac.
WHAT DIDN'T WORK
Superior Energy Retrieval
The first couple of lists used Superior Energy Retrieval. Primarilly because I'm stupid and that's all I knew. The idea was to use Propogate Exeggcute to bypass permanent discard costs and be able to trade 1 card and get 4 into your hand. This proved to be too complicated because you'd have to get the Energy in the discard pile, then you'd need to have cards to get them out of the discard pile. Even with Shuckle from Lost Thunder that can sack 3 Energy from your deck, the whole idea was convoluted and awful.
Fiery Flint
Someone tipped me off that Fiery Flint in Dragon's Majesty was a thing. It's similar to Superior Energy Retrieval, except you discard 2 and you get 4 Fire Energy from your deck. This seemed fantastic, especially with Exeggcute. The big problem came in the form of drawing too many Fire Energy early on and you'd only be able to get two of them to work when you finally do draw into them. That and you have the extra step of getting Exeggcutes in the discard pile VIA Battle Compressor. Until that happens, Fiery Flint is dead in the hand.
Energy Spinner
This card requires you to go SECOND to get the best use out of it. I'm not worried about NOT getting to go second in round 1 of any match of a regional because everyone who isn't dead behind the eyes wants that first turn to set up.
Okay, stupid, I only need one turn to make this happen. Go ahead and Brigette those Zoruas out.
This card was the best one in the lot because you didn't have the extra step in needing Exeggcutes in the discard pile; Energy Spinner was always a live card.
HOW IT WORKED
This is, by far, the worst waste of time I have ever spent on a deck. Part of it is due to the fact that I didn't have half of these cards and had to hand write a bunch of proxy cards. I only have 4 Fire Energy in my whole collection, so that nonsense got irritating real quick. This was made worse that my handwriting looks like I was incarcerated for 20 years.
I KNOW that Unown's Ability says "35 or more cards". When I wrote the proxy up at 1 in the morning, I ended up writing the worst ‘3’ in the history of writing 3's and it looked like an ambiguous 2. And that's what I ran with for 5 days. I know that somewhere in the PokeBeach chat or Heyfonte, I said something like "I could only get the deck to work in the range of low 20%" when I made the first drafts of the deck and tested it out.
When I realized that I made a massive error that it's NOT 25+ cards, 20% consistency immediately dropped to 0% consistency, and here's why:
Pokemon has done a REALLY good job at making garbage Item-based draw. The fact that I'm maining Roller Skates and Gym Badge should have been HUGE RED FLAGS that this idea sucks and I should stop. But like my first marriage, you just put a smile on your face and hope it gets better over time.
Good Lord, NO!
Let's do some math here:
7 card hand - 1 of them is unown = 53 cards in deck
6 prizes = 47 cards in deck
1 card for initial draw = 46 cards in deck
35 cards for win condition = 11 cards in deck that can afford to be played/discarded
ELEVEN CARDS! That means you have to run ABSOLUTELY HOT with your Gym Badge and Roller Skates plays. After I made the necessary penmanship correction to Unown, I could not get the win condition to work to any point that I'd consider a reaonable success.
And the worst offender of the whole deck was Heat Factory Prism Star, which managed to get prized about 17 games. You were supposed to help, idiot!
If you liked this article, don't forget to smash that Like and Subscribe button. And don't forget to chow down on Diet Mountain Dew and Doritos for game codes.
If I don't get banned from this, I'll see if I can do another one.
--Me
This article is all about hopes, dreams, and memes. Gotta love those new set spoilers, right? Everyone is clamoring about how Unown DAMAGE has a legit combo that can win games under the assumption that your opponent has an aneurysm and does nothing to stop you. As a former Yugioh player that specialized in heavy draw engine FTKs for five years, I said "DAMAGE sucks. HAND action is where it's at!"
All three of the Unowns require being Active for their Ability to work. One of them requires an opponent having 12 Supporters in the Lost Zone. That Unown sucks. DAMAGE requires 66 damage counters on your side of the field. And HAND requires you to have 35+ cards in your hand. I spent a good part of a week trying to get a HAND first turn kill to work, because I want to play MY way, and not let the opponent play at all. I just want to prove to my opponents how much of a clever boy I am for using something that, on the surface, looks really craptacular--and make them regret it. That's how it worked in Yugioh, I figured it'd work here too.
We are going to look at the finalized decklist and then we'll go into cards that I tried, but ended up not working as a result and how it all worked out.
[premium]
DECKLIST
POKEMON: 1
1 - Unown (HAND)
Unown – Psychic – HP60
Basic Pokemon
Ability: HAND
Once during your turn (before your attack), if this Pokemon is your Active Pokemon, and you have at least 35 cards in your hand, you may choose to win the game.
[P] Hidden Power: 10 damage.
Weakness: Psychic (x2)
Resistance: none
Retreat: 1
Basic Pokemon
Ability: HAND
Once during your turn (before your attack), if this Pokemon is your Active Pokemon, and you have at least 35 cards in your hand, you may choose to win the game.
[P] Hidden Power: 10 damage.
Weakness: Psychic (x2)
Resistance: none
Retreat: 1
TRAINERS: 44
4 - Whitney
Whitney – Trainer
Supporter
Draw 1 card. Draw an additional 2 cards for each Whitney in your discard pile (excluding this one).
You can only use 1 Supporter card during your turn (before you attack).
Supporter
Draw 1 card. Draw an additional 2 cards for each Whitney in your discard pile (excluding this one).
You can only use 1 Supporter card during your turn (before you attack).
4 - Roller Skates
4 - Battle Compressor
4 - Energy Spinner
Energy Spinner – Trainer
Item
Search your deck for a basic Energy card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then, shuffle your deck. If you go second, on your first turn you may search your deck for up to 3 basic Energy cards instead.
You may play as many Item cards as you like during your turn (before your attack).
Item
Search your deck for a basic Energy card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then, shuffle your deck. If you go second, on your first turn you may search your deck for up to 3 basic Energy cards instead.
You may play as many Item cards as you like during your turn (before your attack).
4 - Trainer's Mail
4 - Gym Badge
4 - Order Pad
4 - Acro Bike
4 - Reserved Ticket
2 - Professor's Letter
1 - Heat Factory Prism Star
Heat Factory – Trainer
Stadium
You can’t have more than 1 Prism Star card with the same name in your deck. If a Prism Star card would go to the discard pile, put it in the Lost Zone instead.
Once during your turn (before you attack) you may discard a [R] Energy from your hand. If you do, draw 3 cards.
As long as this Stadium is in play, whenever a player uses and Item or Supporter card from their hand, prevent all effects of those cards done to this Stadium.
This card stays in play when you play it. Discard this card if another Stadium comes into play. If another card with the same name is in play, you can’t play this card.
Stadium
You can’t have more than 1 Prism Star card with the same name in your deck. If a Prism Star card would go to the discard pile, put it in the Lost Zone instead.
Once during your turn (before you attack) you may discard a [R] Energy from your hand. If you do, draw 3 cards.
As long as this Stadium is in play, whenever a player uses and Item or Supporter card from their hand, prevent all effects of those cards done to this Stadium.
This card stays in play when you play it. Discard this card if another Stadium comes into play. If another card with the same name is in play, you can’t play this card.
ENERGY: 16
16 - Fire Energy
HOW IT WORKS
Since you only have ONE Pokemon, you're going to automatically have Unown in the active, so that's one step out of the way. Beyond that, you want to draw into Battle Compressor 3 Whitney in the discard pile and Random Receiver into the 4th so you can draw 7 cards right off the bat. From there, just run hot draw like a maniac.
WHAT DIDN'T WORK
Superior Energy Retrieval
The first couple of lists used Superior Energy Retrieval. Primarilly because I'm stupid and that's all I knew. The idea was to use Propogate Exeggcute to bypass permanent discard costs and be able to trade 1 card and get 4 into your hand. This proved to be too complicated because you'd have to get the Energy in the discard pile, then you'd need to have cards to get them out of the discard pile. Even with Shuckle from Lost Thunder that can sack 3 Energy from your deck, the whole idea was convoluted and awful.
Fiery Flint
Someone tipped me off that Fiery Flint in Dragon's Majesty was a thing. It's similar to Superior Energy Retrieval, except you discard 2 and you get 4 Fire Energy from your deck. This seemed fantastic, especially with Exeggcute. The big problem came in the form of drawing too many Fire Energy early on and you'd only be able to get two of them to work when you finally do draw into them. That and you have the extra step of getting Exeggcutes in the discard pile VIA Battle Compressor. Until that happens, Fiery Flint is dead in the hand.
Energy Spinner
This card requires you to go SECOND to get the best use out of it. I'm not worried about NOT getting to go second in round 1 of any match of a regional because everyone who isn't dead behind the eyes wants that first turn to set up.
Okay, stupid, I only need one turn to make this happen. Go ahead and Brigette those Zoruas out.
This card was the best one in the lot because you didn't have the extra step in needing Exeggcutes in the discard pile; Energy Spinner was always a live card.
HOW IT WORKED
This is, by far, the worst waste of time I have ever spent on a deck. Part of it is due to the fact that I didn't have half of these cards and had to hand write a bunch of proxy cards. I only have 4 Fire Energy in my whole collection, so that nonsense got irritating real quick. This was made worse that my handwriting looks like I was incarcerated for 20 years.
I KNOW that Unown's Ability says "35 or more cards". When I wrote the proxy up at 1 in the morning, I ended up writing the worst ‘3’ in the history of writing 3's and it looked like an ambiguous 2. And that's what I ran with for 5 days. I know that somewhere in the PokeBeach chat or Heyfonte, I said something like "I could only get the deck to work in the range of low 20%" when I made the first drafts of the deck and tested it out.
When I realized that I made a massive error that it's NOT 25+ cards, 20% consistency immediately dropped to 0% consistency, and here's why:
Pokemon has done a REALLY good job at making garbage Item-based draw. The fact that I'm maining Roller Skates and Gym Badge should have been HUGE RED FLAGS that this idea sucks and I should stop. But like my first marriage, you just put a smile on your face and hope it gets better over time.
Good Lord, NO!
Let's do some math here:
7 card hand - 1 of them is unown = 53 cards in deck
6 prizes = 47 cards in deck
1 card for initial draw = 46 cards in deck
35 cards for win condition = 11 cards in deck that can afford to be played/discarded
ELEVEN CARDS! That means you have to run ABSOLUTELY HOT with your Gym Badge and Roller Skates plays. After I made the necessary penmanship correction to Unown, I could not get the win condition to work to any point that I'd consider a reaonable success.
And the worst offender of the whole deck was Heat Factory Prism Star, which managed to get prized about 17 games. You were supposed to help, idiot!
If you liked this article, don't forget to smash that Like and Subscribe button. And don't forget to chow down on Diet Mountain Dew and Doritos for game codes.
If I don't get banned from this, I'll see if I can do another one.
--Me
Last edited:
