Writing Pokemon Naranja: Through the Eyes of a Thief


Aspiring Trainer
Hello Pokebeach. For those of you who know of my writing on Pokegym, I was just informed that I have a day long ban for using suggestive themes and inproper language. Now, not to start hating on Pokegym, but I wouldn't say that the word 'hell' is inproper and fighting is a suggestive theme. That's why I am now posting my unedited version on Pokebeach and an edited version on Pokegym. All three chapters will be posted later today. Enjoy.

Chapter 1, Part 1
The Escape
“O.K guys, tonight is the night we’re leaving this hell hole, got it?” a young man said. He was about 6 feet, very skinny and lanky. He was wearing a Team Smog uniform, the fedora on the top of his head pushing his long, black, curly hair over his eyes. The young boy’s skin color was a nice tanned color, and he had a deep, melodic, cold, and controlling voice.
“Why are we leaving tonight, why now Obsidian?” a young girl asked Obsidian. She was a lot smaller than her leader, only about 4’11”. She was also very skinny; her straight brown hair went down to her shoulders. She was wearing a Smog uniform also, but without the fedora. She spoke to Obsidian with a bit of worry in her voice.
“We are leaving because boss told us to Rue, you have to follow orders or death, you remember that,” a man answered. He sounded older than Obsidian, and sure was bigger. The man was about 6’3” and very muscular. There were rips in his uniform where his bulging muscles were located. His voice was deeper than Obsidian’s, and he had a crew cut.
“We are leaving tonight Rue because this is the anniversary that the event happened, the reason why we all hate this team, the thing that we have been planning for the past two years. You cannot forget what they did to our team. They took her from us and never gave her…”
Obsidian started to deeply sob.
“Why did they have to kill her, what did she do to deserve that?” he tried saying, but his sobs got into the way.
Rue put her arm around Obsidian. “It’ll be all right boss, we’ll get our revenge,” she told her boss, trying to comfort him. “Chaps, comfort boss or he may kill you,” Rue whispered to the huge man.
“Fine…” Chaps grumbled. “We’ll leave here and then continue on the plan, maybe meet some more ex members of Smog to help us take it down.
Obsidian’s tears were starting to dry up, his sobs starting to stop. “You’re right guys, this is going to be all right, and we will be able to destroy this accursed organization once and for all! Hands in everyone, team KAGE on three.”
“One, two, three, KAGE!” the three team members yelled.
“Now, get your Pokémon healed and then get to bed, we are leaving at 5:00 AM,” Obsidian ordered.
“Got it boss!” Chaps and Rue called out in unison.
Team Smog base, 5:00 AM next day.
The three Smog teammates were getting ready to escape. They took off their uniforms and changed into the clothes of their choice. Rue wore a yellow sundress with oriental thong sandals and had her Breloom, Bre, at her side. Chaps was wearing a black muscle shirt and cameo pants with black boots, his Bagon, Scar, was at his side. Obsidian was wearing a black frog button shirt (see the shirt that the man is wearing in the link here: http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2587/3769818493_14cfa00c44.jpg ), oriental pants (see the black ones in this link here: http://www.fashionoriental.com/images/d_652.jpg ), a straw oriental farmers hat, goggles around his neck (look up Syroan’s goggles for a picture of them) and black shoes. Two Pokémon were at Obsidian’s side, a Kirlia, named Glade and a Sneasel named Sel.
“So, are we all ready,” Obsidian asked.
“Yup, I’m ready to pull a ninja,” Rue said with a cute smile on her face.
“I’m going to destroy anything in my way, so get ready Smog,” Chaps said, with a huge amount of courage in his voice.
“Pokémon, are you all ready for the to fight if needed?” Obsidian asked. Bre, Glade, and Sel all gave nods, but Scar just turned his head.
“Scar, I know you really don’t like Obsidian, but he’s trying to give us a better life, so you have to follow his orders until we are free, and maybe even after that, got it?” Chaps ordered Scar.
“…Gon…” Scar answered with a grunt, turning his head a bit to Obsidian, but still keeping it up high.
“Now that we are all ready, let’s move out. The easiest place to escape is sector B, due to the fact that we are in sector C, so all we have to do is destroy the wall at the end, and then run like crazy! It’s as easy as that!” Obsidian said.
Sector C, Team Smog base
The three friends and there Pokémon snuck along the walls, staying on guard at all times.
‘Weird, no guards in this sector, and they always guard the sector my guys are in, there making it easy, to easy…’ Obsidian thought, but he did not want to tell his teammates what he was thinking. ‘That might just destroy their hopes,’ he thought.
“There’s the wall,” Chaps called out. “Scar, hydro pump, now!” he told his Pokémon. The Bagon did what it was told to do and hit the metal wall dead on with a hydro pump.
“Bre, seed bomb!” Rue told her Breloom. It did as it was told and made a huge dent in the weak part of the wall made by the hydro pump.
“Now it’s my turn to finish this, Sel slice combo now!” Obsidian called out to his Sneasel. Sel sprinted up to the wall, starting with an x-scissor, following with a night slash, and then an ice punch, the metal wall finally bursting into pieces. “Almost there, let’s keep this up!” Obsidian called out to his teammates.
They ran through where the wall had just been, to find something that they had not expected. Every single grunt in the place and the executive running it was right in front of the gateway to freedom.
“Going somewhere fun?” the executive asked his Crobat flying to his side.
“Yes, we actually are Cronus; we are going to the place called the hell away from here!” Obsidian called out to Cronus, taunting the man.
Cronus’ stone face was not phased at all by this comment by Obsidian. His pale skin stayed the same shade, his Crobat chuckling a bit. “Boys, take care of these traitors, I’ll be in my office,” Cronus told the grunts, and then walked away.
“Kay boys, let’s show these traitors the true power of Smog.” The head grunt yelled out. The rest of the grunts whooped and hollered, while sending out there Pokémon. Machokes, Golbats, Houndours, were packing the place.
Obsidian looked unfazed by their attempt at scaring them. “You really think that me, Smogs Smooth Demon will be afraid of you guys? Well, if you do, then think again! Let’s go everyone! He called out to all the grunts.
Obsidian and Sel rushed into battle, attack trainers and Pokémon alike, not really caring about who or what he hit, as long as it wasn’t a teammate. Sel took out about fifteen of the grunts Pokémon, and let out a maniacal laugh. He then went onto taking out more and more grunts and there weak Pokémon, making a path to the exit.
“So boss was right when he said that he raised this boy and his Sneasel to become battle machines, this is starting to look unfair, maybe that means I have to enter the picture…” Cronus said. “Now, what stopped him from fighting the last time? …Oh yes, the death of that girl he loved, maybe the death of a teammate will work. Or two…” Cronus broke through the glass and jumped into battle, his Crobat and his Larion at his side. “Let’s take out the little girl first, shall we boys?” Cronus asked his Pokémon. The chuckled and went right to Rue, Larion charging right in and Crobat waiting for a time to strike.
“Sky uppercut on that Larion!” Rue called out. It was a direct hit, Larion flying upward.
“So, she’s almost as strong as her leader, and at just the age of twelve, it’s such a shame that she has to die, she would’ve been the greatest female battler in the world if she stayed with us, oh well, Crobat do it now,” Cronus called out.
“What Cro- ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” Rue screamed, and then fell to the floor, Crobat taking his long, sharp, poison-coated fangs out of Rue’s body.
Obsidian turned to the direction where the scream, seeing Rue’s dying body on the floor, Bre trying to comprehend what just happened while also fending off Cronus’ Larion. ‘Focus on the battle, don’t break down yet, you will be able to get her body when you beat all of these suckers,’ Obsidian thought, trying to stop himself from breaking down on the spot.
“Good, now do the same the huge one over there,” Cronus told his Crobat, pointing to Chaps.
“Not sneaking up on me like you did to Rue you fiend!” Chaps called out to Cronus, him and Scar readying for the purple bat to descend on them. Crobat made its first swoop, just to be knocked bat to a dragon pulse fired by Scar. The second swoop was to the side that Scar wasn’t on, in which the fangs of the Crobat found there spot on Chaps’ muscular bicep. “This is nothing, you can’t stop me this way, and once Obsidian’s done, you’re finished, start staying your prayers,” Chaps said to Cronus. He then took his good arm and grabbed Crobat, ripping the bat Pokémon out of his arm and throwing in against the wall.
“You’re right, I can’t stop you this way, but I can stop you this way you Neanderthal,” Cronus called to Chaps. “Crobat, Larion, return.” The two Pokémon were recalled to their respective pokéballs. Bre took Rue’s dead body and carried it towards Obsidian, who was finishing the remaining grunts. Bre put the lifeless body on the ground, and kneeled next to it.
“Bre, I want you to help Sel with the other Pokémon and grunts, I’m going to take Glade and help out Chaps, we’re leaving together, dead or alive, got it?”
“…Bre!” Breloom called out with a sense of duty in the voice of the saddened Pokémon. It joined Sel’s side and started to fight again.
‘Now I just have to get to the other side of the room to Chaps and we will win,’ Obsidian thought. “Let’s go Glade,” he called to his Kirlia, and they started to sprint across the room.
“Kangaskhan, Dragonair, kill the traitor,” Cronus called out as his two Pokémon were release from there balls. Kangaskhan picked up Bagon, and threw the small dragon-type to the wall hard. It then broke both of Chaps’ arms and of legs.
“Darn, get here quick boss,” Chaps choked out of his throat, blood flowing out of his mouth.
“Now, let me put you out of your misery, Dragonair use wrap,” Cronus ordered the snake-like dragon Pokémon. It slithered up to Chaps, wrapped around his body and tightened its grip until there was no breathe coming from his body. Scar saw the whole thing happen and ran off crying out the exit, not knowing where it will go.
Bre and Sel joined Obsidian’s side as he just got to the location of Chaps’ dead body. Bre placed Rue’s body next to Chaps’.
“Give up boy, my Pokémon are tons stronger than yours at this time, you’ve battled to many, you lose, now just stand there as I kill you.”
Obsidian took off his hat, the white strips of paper hanging down, he rubbed his finger on one of them and threw the hat near Cronus. He returned all of the Pokémon except Glade and said to Cronus, “Checkmate.”
“What do you mean checkmate, you are powerless right now, you can’t battle and I have two more fresh Pokémon. Do you even have six Pokémon boy?” Cronus said to Obsidian with a clear sound a victory in his voice.
“Look at the hat,” Obsidian told Cronus as Glade made a light screen around his owner.
Cronus looked to the hat and saw that the paper strands were time set paper bombs, his own creation, and the hiss they were making meant that they will go off any second.
“Checkmate as I said, you over looked my intelligence Cronus, I’m not all fight.”
“I’ll get you for this boy, you’re going to die by my hands!” Cronus screamed. The explosion went off, and the whole entire building exploded.
Obsidian woke up, he looked around and saw that Cronus’ body was not in the rubble. “That single explosion wasn’t enough to stop him for good, he’ll sadly be back.” He then turned to the bodies of his dead friends. “You’ll be avenged guys, and while you’re up there, tell Sakura that I love her.” He said to the lifeless corpses. Obsidian went dug two holes and put the bodies in each grave. He made a single tombstone out of a scrap of steel. It read, ‘Here lies Chaps and Rue, the two greatest friends a guy could ever have…’ “Now what to do?” Obsidian said to himself. Then it hit him. “Where’s Scar?” Obsidian checked the pokéballs realizing that only Glade, Bre, and Sel were there. He looked around some more, noticing that there was a row of knocked down trees. “That must be the direction that Scar went, I’ll have to catch him for Chaps, we all agreed that if one of us dies, the living one gets the ownership of their Pokémon.” Obsidian ran into the path of knocked down trees, and started the first part of his long trek.

Chapter 1, Part 2
Weatherstone City Outskirts
“Scar, come out, come out wherever you are!” Obsidian screamed out trying to find his late friends Bagon. The Pokémon was part of his team now, due to a pact that he and his friends made when they were just starting the group, and even though that Scar hated Obsidian, he thought he would be able to get the Pokémon to understand him and become loyal to him. He looked everywhere in the forest that had any damage done to it. It was extremely obvious that it had been at this location at some point, due to knocked down, water logged, and burnt trees. “Lord why does this has to be so hard. Besides, I have less Pokémon than Cronus, so I will need two more. Life blows right now…I don’t even have my hat anymore, but it was for the better of the Pokémon and the destruction of Team Smog.” Obsidian then heard a rustling in the bushes near him. ‘A Pokémon, this is going to be great, I’ll snag it with ease,’ Obsidian. He walked up to the bushes, looking into them, just to see a Munchlax thrashing playfully in its sleep. ‘God dammit why does it have to be this thing instead of something powerful?’ Obsidian thought. ‘I might as well just leave this area right now, it seems like Scar had head into town, so that should be the place I search for him.’ Obsidian continued his trek to find Scar, which lead him to Weatherstone City.
Weatherstone Field
Scar was running around the field with no reason for living, finally collapsing from exhaustion. He took a nap for about three hours, just to wake up to two young trainers. One was about twelve years old, wore a blue cap, a black t-shirt, a red jacket, blue shorts, and black tennis shoes. The other one was seemed a bit younger than the first boy was. He had fervent white hair, a striped blue t-shirt, and tainted green shorts.
“Shandon, can you catch that Bagon for me?” the white haired boy asked.
Taking out a pokéball, Shandon answered the boy, “Sure Brodie, no problem, anything for a friend.” Shandon threw out the pokéball, a Gabite coming out of it.
Scar realized that he is being attacked, he got very annoyed. Scar rushed at the attacking Gabite, head first.
“Gabite, jump and the dragon rage!” Shandon ordered his land shark, which spewed a blue ball of fiery energy.
Scar thinking on his feet, somersaulted out of the way of the energy ball, turning to find Gabite about meters to the back of him. He rushed into the Gabite, thinking that if he got out one hydro pump then it would be over.
“Gabite, quick, dragon claw,” Shandon called out to his Pokémon.
Gabite’s claw glowed with the same energy that the Pokémon spewed from his mouth moments ago, just to swipe at air as Scar quickly ducked down, dodging the attack and coming up with a head butt, knocking the Pokémon high into the air and then landing on its back.
Obsidian, near the sight of the battle had ignored it until he looked up and saw that a Gabite was in the air. “Son of a...Scar stay right there!!!!” he yelled, hoping nobody would hear him.
Gabite was just getting up, as Bagon seemed as it was getting ready for another attack that would end the battle.
“Gabite, get back on your feet and use Dragon Rage,” Shandon called to his Pokémon.
Gabite charged for a bit, and then stopped, only to cringe in pain as it held its head.
“Do it…you know you want to take him out, he’s making a fool of you, just kill him to show everyone how strong you really are.
“Don’t succumb to that, you are better than just fighting to solve your problems. You may be having an off day, tag out.”
“The power is here if you want it…”

Shandon walked over to his Gabite. “You ok bud?” he asked his Pokémon as he put his arm over Gabite’s shoulder.
Gabite dropped his arms and without a command and with the element of surprise, he charged into Bagon, a cloud of smoke forming.
Obsidian was hiding in the bushes near the battlefield. ‘The boy will weaken him, then I’ll snag Scar and be on my way.’
In the smoke cloud, Scar was using his size and power as an advantage. He was hiding and quickly dodging the moves of the flailing Gabite. Scar then let out a draco meteor, scarring and ripping up the stomach of the almost knocked out Gabite. All he had to do now was to wait for more energy and then finish off the enemy for good. Yet it seemed that Gabite had its own plan. He started to glow white, and evolved. Scar was weak and could not move, due to his last attack, which meant he was an open target right now. The Garchomp knocked him right out of the hole, and then emerged itself to make sure the job was done.
Before Obsidian can act, Brodie was handed a pokéball and in seconds, Scar was taken from Obsidian forever.
Obsidian came pretty close to saying words I cannot say on this website, but he kept in because of the fact that there were two people that would hear him and find out what he was doing at the time. Obsidian was not so sure about everyone knowing about the escape, and if they knew, what would happen. Would people welcome him or would he be sent to prison or where his friends are, and that was if he was lucky. ‘Looks I have to be a criminal again I see…,’ Obsidian thought. “Glade, come out,” Obsidian called to his Pokémon. “Can you tell me where they are going to be staying at buddy?” Obsidian asked his Pokémon.
Glade’s red horns glowed for a couple minutes, and then telepathically made an image of the hotel that they were going to stay at.
“Perfect, thanks bud, now return!” Obsidian said to Glade as it was returned to its capsule. “You guys better watch your backs.
Later at night, In some cheap motel
Shandon and Brodie were sleeping, Scar’s pokéball on a counter, not knowing what was about to happen.
Obsidian snuck by the guards, making his way to the window of the room Shandon and Brodie were staying in. He spotted the pokéball containing Scar. ‘Now I just got to get in.’ After moments of useless pondering, Obsidian went with the fun way: smashing the window, grabbing the ball, and then booking it out of there. He did part one very well, not even waking up the two boys. ‘Heavy sleepers, that’s a shame. Oh well, there loss.’ He then grabbed Scar’s pokéball. “Perfect,” he whispered, as he slithered out of the room into the night.

Chapter 2


Quartzine Town Outskirts

Obsidian was walking towards Quartzine town. He heard that there was strong rock and steel type Pokémon there. ‘Now I have to catch some stronger Pokémon and then work on training all of them. Then I will work on attempting to make allies. Worst comes to worst I will take out Smog myself.

A rustling came from a bush near Obsidian.

‘Crap, they already round me!’ he thought, his body frozen in terror. He turns around, and looks into the bush, just to find the same Munchlax he found in Weatherstone, which was now dragging around a tattered umbrella. ‘Weird…’ “Munchlax, can you…um…go back to your family please.

“…Lax?” the Munchlax answered with a confused look on its face.

“Go, now, that way,” Obsidian told the Pokémon as he turned it towards the other direction and pushed it that way. Obsidian started to walk away.

Munchlax waited until he was out of Obsidian’s sight of view, just to follow continue following him.

Quartzine Town

Obsidian looked around the town. He was here a couple times before, during his days in Smog, but this time it looks different. The last time he was there people were running around, working, having fun, and living there lives. He walked into a town with all of the doors and windows shut and locked. No one was outside, but you knew people lived there; the signs of live were all around him. ‘Wonder why everyone is?’

Quartzine Forest

Obsidian poked his head into the forest. There were many Pokemon being harvested by Smog. ‘Figures. I don’t want to cause any trouble.’ He looked to his side and saw a Pokemon watching him. ‘Eevee…I’d like to catch one, but in this condition, I’d rather not...’ Obsidian walked out of the mine, with the Eevee following him.

The Greasy Spool (Bar located in Quartzine town)

Obsidian walked to the door in the bar. He saw people in there, but the doors were locked. ‘I wonder what’s up’ Obsidian then looked to the left of him and saw wanted posters but up by Smog. On the top of the black list, Obsidian saw his name and picture with a reward of P50,000,000 on his head. ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this…’ Obsidian then turned around, to find twenty grunts and an admin were right behind. “Son of a…”

The admin had long blonde hair that went past his shoulders. Like all the other admins, his face was like stone, and showed no emotion. He seemed unfazed and seemed to have not a single pokeball on his belt. Unlike the other admins though, he wore a grunt outfit.

‘All the admins look the same…’

“Kill the traitor!!” one of the grunts screamed out. There pokemon made many different attacks.

Obsidian jump up and flipped onto the roof of the building. ‘How did I know I was here?’ He sent out Sel, Glade, Scar, and Bre. “Lets get out there and fight guys. Scar, I want you to use a draco meteor into the middle of the crowd to make room for Bre. Sel and Glade, assume your normal positions.

All the pokemon nodded, and proceeded there orders.

Sel crawled up the back of the black shirt of her master. She then put her arms in the slits that where made for him, and opened up the eye and nose slits.

Glade went to Obsidians left side.

“Ready,” Obsidian said to scar.

Scar pulled his head back, and fired the attack at the center of the pack.

Bre jumped into the gap that Scar made and started attacking the grunts and there pokemon.

Glade’s eyes glowed for a second, and sent the levels and strengths of the opposing pokemon telepathically to his owner.

“So we don’t need to jump in, Bre should be strong enough to take out these pokemon herself…this is a complete joke.”

The admin of the grunts pulled out a silver whistle. “Time to turn the tides of this battle,” he said under his breath. The admin blew the whistle and the unspeakable happened.

Bre stopped his attack on the grunts, just to jump up to the roof Obsidian, waiting for another order.

The admin followed, and ordered Glade to make a barrier around the roof so there would be no interferences.

Glade did as asked, and then the four pokemon and two trainers were unable to escape.

Glade and Bre joined the admin’s side as he began to speak. “I’m Hyperion, the admin in charge of the Quartzine mine and forest. These are my two pokemon that you know too well, Bre and Glade. I am so grateful to be in your presence in battle, Smooth Demon.”

“I don’t give a crap on who you are, why did you just say that Bre and Glade were your pokemon?! Rue and Sakura were the original owners of them, and now I am there owner, not you!!” Obsidian screamed in rage. He seemed extremely angry, and enraged on the fact that two of his best friend’s pokemon have just betrayed him.

“Well, that’s a funny story, unlike you and Chaps, Rue and Sakura never caught a pokemon. Smog gave them each a pokemon from there own arsenal. So really, they are Smog’s pokemon, not yours, and you just have to live with that. Now, the only way to get out of here is to defeat Glade or make you own way through the barrier. You are also out numbered, two to one.”

“I see it as even, Sel, Scar, and myself versus you, Bre, and Glade.”

“Not really, you see, Scar isn’t fully loyal to you, and is also very tired after using draco meteor. I don’t think he is so used to this strain in power, now let’s begin. Bre, thunder punch.”

‘I’ll dodge to the left, then let Sel slide out of my shirt and then have her use an ice punch on Bre which should knock her out, and then use a night slash on Glade and then get the hell out of here.’ Obsidian jump to the left, just to get hit by the punch. He then got hit in the back where Sel was. ‘How did they know the plan?’

“Glade tells me everything you are thinking because it seems that you are still emotionally attached to him. If you completely shut Glade and Bre from your heart, then you will be able to defeat me, but I don’t think that it is even possible to turn your back on the pokemon that were once the partners of your best friends.”

“Hyperion, you’re a sick man.”

“People have told me that, and I agree with them. Bre, kill the traitor.”

‘Ok, try to loose emotions…’ Obsidian thought. He then got hit with a seed bomb and a sky uppercut. Obsidian then tore off his shirt and said, “Sel, Run!”

Sel looked at her owner with a confused look.

“I told you to get out of here.”

“…Snea…” the pokemon said, pointing to the barrier.

“…Oh ya…that…crap…” Obsidian said to himself.

‘How will I be able to…that’s it!!’ Obsidian thought. “Scar, use hydro pump to flood the place!’

“We’ll all drown if we do that!”

“Seems like I was able to cut the link, so now die with me Hyperion.”

Scar started the hydro pump, waiting for the order to stop. Though it wasn’t going to come.

About an hour later

“The water is up to your waist, what are you going to do Hyperion?”

“The same thing you are doing, waiting for the other to make an opening.”

“Not going to happen and now that I’ve sealed my heart, you don’t have any idea on what I am thinking.”


Three more hours

The two trainers and four pokemon were now treading water; there was almost no more room for air.

“Your insane boy!”

“People tell me that a lot and I agree, keep it coming Scar.”

‘This boy is smarter than he looks; I don’t see why boss solely trained him for battle and assassination. I will have to cut the force field sometime or another, maybe I can hold my breath longer than him and have him die right before the force field is lifted, ya, that’s exactly what I am going to do.’

‘Looks like I know something that he doesn’t know. Glade’s terrified of drowning, that’s why he is on top of Hyperion’s head. When I push him in, the field will go out and I can escape.’ Obsidian sunk into the water, and swam under Hyperion. He then took a chain out of his bag and loosely tied it around Hyperion’s foot.

“Choosing your grave boy, there will only be three more minutes of air and then we will die together.”

Obsidian dove under the water again and then pulled the chain down with him, making Hyperion and Glade go under the water. The second Glade’s head was under the water, his eyes lit and the force field bursted right open. As the water was emptying out, Obsidian got a stake and shoved it between one of the chains to make sure the Smog admin wouldn’t be able to follow him. He picked up Sel and Scar and they started to run off to another town, and another adventure.

Chapter 3, Part One

The Cloaks

Mountport City:

Obsidian, Sel, and Scar made it out of Hyperion’s grip and got to Mountport by nightfall. “So guys, there were five, now there’s only three…we need some more team members…” The Pokemon were extremely tired, and didn’t answer besides a nod. “OK, I can see you guys are tired, return.” Obsidian returned his two Pokemon and then put the pokeballs in his pouch. A woman in a police uniform was walking towards Obsidian.

“Sir, public nudity is illegal in this city, please get a shirt on.”

‘Crap…I forgot my shirt at the battlefield, like hell I’m going back there. I’ll just go buy a new one.’ “Sorry miss…I’ll go find a shirt to where immediately.” Obsidian walked into a story, though they all seemed locked. ‘Wonder what’s up...it’s only seven, stores don’t close until around ten in this part of the city.’ Obsidian then noticed a wanted poster with his name on it. ‘This is bad…’ The teen started to run towards the town exit, only to be greeted by a group of Smog grunts. Now, usually he would have no problem with this. Though the battle with Hyperion tired his Pokemon out as well as himself, so fighting wasn’t an option. ‘What do I do know.’

“Wait till boss here’s that we have Obsidian right here all weak!” one of the grunts exclaimed. They all sent out there Pokemon. A Gengar, Nidorino, Tyrogue, Kadabra, Grimer, Arbok, and Koffing were all ready to attack the helpless Obsidian. Suddenly, a flash of blinding light engulfed the area and the sound of fighting came near the grunts. When the light disappeared and everything was visible, Obsidian saw a group of seven people and the group of grunts piled up, there Pokemon knocked out.

“We saw you needed help.” a man said as he turned to Obsidian. He was wearing a red cloak, with a red shirt under it. His jeans were torn and he had a nice chiseled chin. His brown hair was cut very short. Obsidian then noticed that the whole entire group was wearing cloaks. There were three girls, one with a purple cloak who looked like she was in her twenties. She was almost as tall as the red cloaked man and had long blond hair. Another who was wearing an off-green cloak and looked very elderly and experienced. Her face was wrinkled and wore the gray hair on her head in a bun. The last girl looked a bit older than Obsidian. She wore a silver cloak and was blushing a little and was staring at Obsidian. Her black hair was short and about shoulder length, her face showing peace. Along with the red cloaked man, there were three others. The man with a white cloak and bleach white hair who looked to be around the age of thirty. Another who was next to the elderly woman, and looked about as old, wearing a brown cloak. Finally, there was a teen boy who looked around Obsidian’s age wore a yellow cloak. He seemed to look at Obsidian with a spiteful look. “I’m Doxis Quin.” The red cloaked man said.

“Nicoli Banto at your service,” the white cloaked man said.

“August Day,” the purple cloaked woman introduced herself as.

“William and Josephine Amaretto,” the old man introduced himself and his wife as.

“Kertix McGinnis” said the yellow cloaked teen in a sickly tone to Obsidian, looking away right after.

“…Nino Amore…” the girl introduced herself as shyly, hiding her face immediately.

“I’m Obsidian, it’s nice to meet you all, thanks for before, I just got back from fighting them and my Pokemon are very tired at the time.”

“Well, you can stay with us for the night then Obsidian.” Doxis said. “C’mon, back to base everyone.”


The base was sort of like a mansion on the edge of town. There were many rooms, including a huge kitchen, dining room, and even a battle arena. “So, how did you get into that mess Obsidian?” Nicoli asked.

“I was in a battle with them before, which tired me and my Pokemon out, maybe that’s why the leftover grunts were able to catch up with me.”

“I can see, so you’re against Smog it seems.”

“Yes, right now I am against them, why do you ask.”

“We need kids like you, fighters and rebels.”

“Who are you really?”

“We are a group made to stop Smog and destroy it. We are The Cloaks.”

“The Cloaks eh, I’ve heard of them before, each member specializing in a certain type of Pokemon that corresponds with there cloak color. I’m guessing that you are an expert with normal-type Pokemon, right Nicoli.”

“The cloak tells all. Though most of us in this group are getting old, and we would like a young man like you to join, or at least help us in our next raid on the base about ten kilometers from here.”

“I’ll have to think about the invitation, but since I’m just wandering right now, I’ll help you guys with the raid.”

“That’s great Obsidian, go to Nino and she’ll show you to your room for the night…and why don’t you have a shirt on right now?”

“Long story, and thanks, I’ll go to her right now.” Obsidian walked aimlessly around the base until he found the silver cloaked girl. At the time, she wasn’t wearing her cloak, and had a simple silver shirt on with a black mini-skirt. “Um…Nino, Nicoli told me that you knew where I was staying, can you show it to me?”

“..Sure thing,” Nino said as she blushed a bit. She motioned Obsidian to follow as the two teens went to the other side of the base to Obsidian’s room. It was located by a window that looked over the bay. There was a bed, a trashcan, and a shelf to put stuff on in it, very simple.

“Thank you Nino-chan.”

“You’re welcome Obsidian-kun.” Nino then stumbled out of the room.

“Now to get some rest,” Obsidian said as he yawned and fell asleep.

Part Two will be coming shortly. Right now I have some free time and will be writing it as you read this chapter. Hopefully I may be done by the time you all read this. A final note is that the character bios for my characters will be located in the first post when I am finished with part two.

Chapter Three, Part Two

Obsidian awoke to a Raichu’s sharpened tail at the neck. ‘What the hell did I do to deserve this?’

“Stay away from her,” a familiar voice said to him.

“Kertix, is that you?”

“Yes, and stay away from Nino, she’s mine.”

“Dude, I’m not after her, it’s not my fault that she may be infatuated with me.”

“Well, I don’t really care what you say. That whole little thing you did with Smog, you faked being weak. I saw you on the posters in the police stations months ago; you’re one of them, Smooth Demon. You’re foolin’ no one.”

‘Well, it seems that they don’t know it.’ “And if you’ve checked the wanted posters by the taverns and bars recently, you’ve seen that Smog is putting up wanted posters of me because I ‘betrayed’ them. So I am on your side.”

Raichu’s tail went back from Obsidian’s neck to its normal position. “I’m watching you Demon.”

“…I think I gotta go back to bed.” Obsidian says as he falls back and goes to sleep again.

A Couple Hours Later

Obsidian awoke to a note and a shirt on his bed. It read, ‘A gift from us to you.’ The note had signatures from all the Cloak members besides Kertix. ‘Wow, this guy can keep a grudge; I didn’t even do anything to him.’ Obsidian let out his two Pokemon, who along with there owner were rested and ready to fight. “You guys ready to help everyone in the raid tonight?”



“Great, now let me talk to all the others to see what the plan is tonight.” Obsidian returned his Pokemon and walked off to the main lobby, all the Cloak members waiting there.

“Obsidian, it’s great that you joined us, now have a seat,” Doxis said to Obsidian kindly.

Obsidian took the only empty chair there, which was next to Nicoli and August.

“Ok guys, the plan tonight is to raid the Smog base tonight. We are going to destroy all food supplies, free any stolen Pokemon, and try to take out there power. Here is a microphone that we can all communicate with. Now for groups. There’s eight of us so we’ll make four groups of two. I’ll go with August. Nicoli, you and Nino will be on the same team. William and Josephine will be a group and that leave Kertix and Obsidian.”

Kertix gave a glare at Obsidian, making him feel uncomfortable.

“Now, I want all of you to get ready for the raid tonight and meet back here at midnight.”

The members of The Cloaks and Obsidian walked off to there separate rooms, getting there stuff ready for the night. As Obsidian made it to his room, he went through his bag for things he may need. ‘New shirt, check, staff, check, Scar and Sel, check, I’m missing something…oh ya, the band.’ Obsidian searched around his bag and found a simple silver ring and put it on. ‘That’s everything…I just wish I had my hat, and my mask, that’s something I should’ve packed before I left, the mask would’ve been nice to hide my face so Smog doesn’t know I’m there, but it seems that once this is out, the Smooth Demon will be heavily hunted on this side of Rennto, I’ll most likely have to start travelling a lot quicker, I hope I get a Pokemon to fly on soon.


“Everyone ready?” Doxis asked as they all put there cloaks on.

“Yup,” all the other members and Obsidian piped in as they got with there flying type Pokemon, Obsidian not having one got on Kertix’s Fearow.

“Just a reminder, no straying from your partner, which goes for everyone, even you Obsidian. Now, let’s fly!!”

All of the flying Pokemon lifted off the ground and flew towards the Smog hideout. Doxis and August flew to the western part of the base on there Charizard and Drifblim. Nicoli and Nino flew on there respective Pokemon, a Togekiss for Nicoli and a Skarmory for Nino to the Eastern part. Josephine and William, riding on there Noctowl and Pidgeot had already landed in the southern part, and Obsidian and Kertix flew above the center, making there way to the northern sector of the base. As they did, Obsidian spotted Cronus through a window. ‘He’s mine.’ “Sorry Kertix, but there’s some unfinished business to take care of,” Obsidian said as he fell off of Kertix’s Fearow and did a torpedo dive to the center of the base, turning the mic off.

“What are you doing, you’re with them aren’t you, you are now about to tell them that we’re here, I’m going to kill you Demon, Fearow dive down and follow him!!!” The Fearow dove down as Obsidian’s body crushed through the glass and sent out Scar and Sel, the two Pokemon defending the trainer as he followed Cronus into the Admin’s room.

“Kertix, what’s wrong?” Doxis asked.

“Ya, we can all here you screaming, and we have no sign of him,” Nicoli said.

“That man isn’t against Smog, I didn’t want to tell everyone, but he’s the Smooth Demon, we fell right into his trap too.”

“Kertix, if he is who you think he is, then do not follow him, he’s been known to kill without hesitation and is an “S” ranked trainer right now, you aren’t even close to the B rank, just continue with the plan,” Doxis ordered Kertix.

“To late…” Kertix answered as he turned his mic off and landed in the Smog base and continued to follow Obsidian.

“Kertix, Kertix!!” Doxis screamed. ‘I’ve faced the Smooth Demon once and even with fire-types and out numbering his Pokemon, he still almost killed me, that boy is as good as dead…’

There's all the chapters so far, if you want to read the story that inspired this one...wait, I can't go on da gym for the rest of the day...you guys wait on this on.


I'm back
I suggest that you split this up and add one chapter at a time if want readers. I know myself that by personal preference people don't feel motivated enough to start a fan-fic if it is already more than a chapter long. Add more chapters as you get more supporters. It may also help to space out chapter 1. Also, I don't really understand the purpose of splitting the chapters into two parts rather than making them two chapters. Now more on the story. It needs more to it. The story is flat out story. You need more description. A good analogy would be to compare it to a person. You have bones, represented by the plot, and skin, but you have no muscles to move the parts around and engage the reader.