Writing ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 6 up 4/10/08!!

A

Achmetha

Yes. This is a custom title... I think..
Member
An old fan-fic that I got started again. I'm pretty far along, but I'm going to post more later, so there is suspense.



~Chapter One: About Me~

This is me, maybe you've heard of me. You haven't? Well how about my sisters, Candice and Lorelei, or my grandma, Glacia. Needless to say, Ice Pokemon are important to my family. In every region except one, there is one of my family members serving in that nation's Pokemon League (We tried in the Orange League but Ice Pokemon don't really work there if you know what I mean). Well, that puts me in an odd situation: one, there isn't another region for me and two, I hate Ice Pokemon.

I've always lived way up in the mountains. Let me tell you, the thrill wears off really quickly. Worst of all is the uncomfortable cold it chills you to the bone as though you are nothing more than an ice pack. It gets annoying when people come to you for a battle and immediately pull out a Fighting or Fire type. I swore I'd never raise an Ice type Pokemon.

When my parents died, I was sent to live with my grandma in Hoenn. This was a pleasant change for me as I was used to living in the harsh climate of Mount Coronet. There was nothing like snow, sleet, or freezing rain; there was only the warm tropical sun beating down almost constantly. It was short lived though, because my grandmother thought I missed home. She sent me to live with my grandfather, Pryce, in Mahogany town. This sent me whirling into a depression; I would barely talk or eat. Pryce didn't help at all, he gave me an Eevee when I turned thirteen last year, but it was only part of a plot to have it evolve into a Glaceon. I'd be devastated if he did because of what happened to my parents.

Well, you might think I'd tell them off and scream to the heavens that I hate Ice Pokemon; yeah I know that was a jump from our last topic, just bear with me for a second. I tried doing that and it didn't really work out so well. I told my parents, who took me on another exciting adventure to the mountains, as if I didn't already live there. They thought it would help get my blood going and make me like Ice Pokemon. The only ones whose blood was going that day were my parents. An Abomasnow attacked them when they found its cub. It tried to kill me but I was saved because of my sister Candice. I hope that explains that.

So the reason I want to talk to you is to tell you about the scariest discovery ever made, and my journey to discover it.


Next chapter coming soon!
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~

~Chapter Two: Go Eevee!~

"Jason! Get up! Your grandfather needs help in the Gym!"

I sat up groggily and scratched my head. "Mm'k, Irma! I'll be there in a sec!" Irma is Pryce's maid, she came over from Kanto as another Gym leader's associate. Despite her squat roundness she really is a great battler. I took two steps and came out of my miniscule bedroom to my even smaller bathroom. The cracked mirror really did me justice as much as I hate to admit it. My crooked teeth had braces, and it was just my luck that they only had two colors when I went in, neon green and black; how's that for a combination? My hazel eyes were bloodshot and off center. The embarrassing mop of untamable brown hair sat atop my head, victorious against the comb once again. I tied my sister's hand-me-down shoes and took my hat off the kitchen table and ran through the door.

"BOY!!! What took you?! You're late! Even your Pokemon has enough sense to show up on time." It was Mr. Snoe, the trainer in charge of my affairs. He held Eevee by the scruff of his neck.

"Oh! I'm sorry Mr. Sno-"

"Give him a break Snoe, he's new to town. It'll take him a while to adjust."

"Vee," came the cry of my friend. He bounded out of Mr. Snoe's grasp and into my arms, shaking off his ruffled fur. "Eevee!" he said angrily.

"Pryce, he is in blatant disregard of his late parents' wishes." He turned to me and declared, "their will is the law to you."

"Shut up!" I yelled. "I'm never going to raise an Ice Pokemon. I hate them and I hate you!" I ran into the Gym, slammed the door, and locked it. I sat there for a moment with Eevee pondering what I was to do. I couldn't decide; I knew I wasn't going to put up with Mr. Snoe for another day, but I couldn't just leave. I fell asleep for a while after putting Eevee in his Pokeball and awoke to the sound of quiet knocking on the door.

"Jason? Could you open up? We need to get in," my grandfather's voice said. It drifted in through the covered window. I got up and turned the bolt to the left. The moment the locking mechanism clicked, the door slammed open. A bunch of angry voices escalated.

"What was the hold-up?" "I came here from Olivine city and have to wait for three hours! What a gyp!"

One voice in particular stood out to me. I heard something like this: "Are you one of the trainers here? Could we battle?"

"Well, I'm not a trainer here, but I could warm you up, okay?" I replied. He nodded and for a second his serious face looked like my father's. I lit up and reached for my belt. The feel of the thick rounded plastic was familiar as I ran my hand against it. I released the red and white ball from my hand as it stretched and grew. The ball fell to the rubber floor and bounced back to my open hand opening up. In midair a swirling vortex of red light came out of the mirrored insides of the P.C.D (Pokemon Containment Device, or Pokeball for short). As it entered my hand I snapped it shut. The light formed into Eevee and became his physical body. My opponent released a Charmander and it looked strong. I couldn't believe it, my first battle!

New chapter because of lack of posts, please comment!
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 2 up!!!! Please Reply!!

Please reply, even to say you don't like it. :/
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 3 up!!!! Please Reply!!

Fine, chapter 3. Doesn't anyone like it? Hate it?


~Chapter Three: Charmander, Return!~

My opponent's Charmander let out a cry as he commanded it to use Tackle against Eevee. "Eevee, dodge it and strike him back with Takedown!" Eevee quickly jumped to the right and sat unresponsive.

"Charmander, use Fire Spin!" my opponent shouted from the other side of the Gym.

His Charmander leaped up and did a flip. He released a ball of flame that spread out and formed crosshairs, aimed right at Eevee! It was to late for Eevee to dodge from the sides. The edges of the flame wall seared Eevee's fur blackening the shiny coat. His tail was lit completely on fire. I couldn't bear to watch it any longer, but I knew that Eevee was strong and could keep fighting. Almost as if in response to my thoughts, Eevee turned, looked me in the eye and nodded. "Alright!" I declared with renewed vigor at the sight of Eevee's defiance against loss. "Jump straight up, Eevee, and deliver a Quick Attack."

Eevee jumped up and out of the flames and landed on the soft floor of the Gym. He turned to face face with a clearly puzzled look on his face. "Vee?"

"Huh?" I said as my opponent's Charmander let loose a devestating Flamethrower. It took the form of a dragon. The menacing frame of the winged reptilian followed Eevee's every twist and turn eventually wearing down his speed. Eevee was trapped between loss or pain. I had to make a choice quickly. I reached forward, yelling, "No! Don't hurt him! I-"

My opponent cut me off, "I surrender." He caught me off guard with that completely irrational statement. "You aren't worth fighting," he continued. "You don't even know what attacks your Eevee knows. Fighting you would be too easy. Go train some more, kid. Better yet, quit while you're behind. Charmander, return."

I couldn't fight the tears back, his sharp words cut me to the core. I knew that he was right but I just couldn't admit it. "Sh-shut up!" I said between sobs. I breathed as the sadness was replaced with anger. "I'll be great one day. I'll beat you too!" I shouted. "Don't underestimate me!" His image was burned into my eyes forever. His red Pokeball hat sat upon that cursed mop of brown hair. The matching shirt made him look as though he had just stepped out of a Pokemon magazine. The yellow bag on his back scrunched him down into an odd position. It was bulging with all kinds of items. He stood tall and it was clear that he was a bit older than me, maybe fifteen or so. "I'll remember you, and one day, you'll see that you were wrong about me!" I cried out to him as he turned.

"Heh..." he laughed. "Is that so? Well, then, I think you'll just have to try and catch me if you can. I'll be waiting for you... Oh, before I go, my name is Ash, remember it." Those words were carried with me wherever I went from then on.

Later that day I learned that only one trainer beat my grandfather out of the 20 or so that showed up. "Umm... Let's see... Who was he?" Pryce tried to recollect after I asked him about it. "Oh yeah!" He exclaimed. "He introduced himself as Ash."

I shuddered to think of the strength that carried him so far. I wasn't sure if I could keep my promise. 'Oh well,' I thought as I drifted to sleep. 'He'll probably be too preoccupied to remember anything about a random boy he met at some Gym.'
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 3 up!! Please Reply!!

I like this fic. The writing style is very advanced, and the plot is pretty good.

Only one thing stands out. Since when did Ash's Charizard devolve?
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 3 up!! Please Reply!!

This doesn't follow the timeline, some things will be synonymous with the anime, while others will be of my own creation. Thank you for your comments. Are there any suggestions with the plot (though most of it is planned out)?
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 3 up!! Please Reply!!

I remember reading this when it wasn't...reborn! Great Job achmetha! Chapters are kind of short but like pokey said the writing style is very advanced! Great Job!
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 3 up!! Please Reply!!

Thank you. Should I post chapter four yet?

Also, adressing the short chapter thing, there are 7 chapters completed, but the true stroyline hasn't even been revealed. It really is going to be about 50-60 chapters long by the time I'm done.
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 3 up!! Please Reply!!

You should post chapter 4 whenever you feel like it.

Also, if you're going to try and do a big fanficiton, I find it will be easier to complete if you DON'T write chapters in advance and make it up as you go. I mean, you should at least establish the protagonists, antagonists, the beginning and ending, and the rest you go along with. It's much easier AND funner!
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 3 up!! Please Reply!!

Actually, because this is reborn, the chapters were written while people were reading them, I think I'm going to have tp write in advance, otherwise, I'll get lazy and not post any new chapters like before.
Also, Chapter Four!

~Chapter Four: The Great Houdini~

"Well, you should come find me, I'll be waiting for you... Yeah right, a wimp like you is going to beat me! Hah! If you wanna fight, how 'bout right now?" Ash was standing in front of me laughing. "You're too weak! You couldn't beat a Caterpie!" I was too scared to react. Where was Eevee? I couldn't think. Suddenly there were more. Ash had multiplied into nine others surrounding me on all sides, there was no escape. They began morphing into his precious Charmander and stopping midaway. They had become grotesque figures now with the legs of a Chamander and Ash's own body own body. They spoke in a rumbling scratchy voice, "This is how ugly you are to me." They became Charmander and all released around of deadly Embers. Time seemed to slow. I could feel the intense heat as the closed in on me and I could hear the laughter of Ash from behind me. When I turned, he was standing with Charmander by his side. "Now die," he said maliciously. The flames finally reached me and I saw them lick across my body, I waited to feel the pain of burning and smell the smoke from my prematurely cremated body. Nothing happened then suddenly I was cold. I couldn't breath. Everything was going dark.

I awakened with a start. Gasping, I checked my surroundings; I was sitting in my bed in my own room. The window was open and apparently it had started to snow; flakes were falling in from outside. The cold must have given me an asthma attack,or was it the dream? I made up my mind then and there. After closing the window quietly, I packed my black school bag with some clothes and essentials. I tiptoed down the stairs and I had forgotten to step over the creaky step.

"Huh, whazzat?" I heard my grandpa ask from the master bedroom.

"It's just me, Grandpa. I was thirsty so I wanted to get some water," I whispered back.

"Okay," he replied. "Be sure to not stay up too late."

I continued down the stairs and found Eevee sleeping in his heated bed. 'Such a spoiled baby,' I thought when I gently shook him to wake him up. "Vee?"

"Shh!" I insisted. I motioned to the stairs for him. He seemed to understand and followed me, this time, carefully avoiding the squeaky step this time. I went around my room making sure to leave everything as it was. I left a note that read: "I'm sick and tired of being treated like a kid, I want to become a Pokemon trainer so I left for Hoenn. Come find me if you can." I was almost free; I slipped out the window and jumped down into a pile of snow. I turned to look back at the house and declared, "This'll be the last time we see our home for a while, buddy." I looked at Eevee. "Are you going to be okay with that?"

"Eevee!" he confirmed. Eevee turned towards the road and began to run. I followed him like a good little boy follows his father. My own story was beginning in the Pokemon world.
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 3 up!! Please Reply!!

Nice the journey begins! It's amazingly discriptive and great, it was like I was watching a movie! I could imagine everything you said! Great job!
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 3 up!!!! Please Reply!!

Thank you. Any good author should be able to paint a picture in your head. Once again, new chapter:

~Chapter 5: Base T~

"Vee, Eevee!"

"I'm coming as fast as I can Eevee, stop bugging me," I said testily; although you'd forgive me if you knew what I had been through in the past day or so. Eevee and I treked across the snow draped plains outside of Mahogany Town. We bumped into a few Pokemon.

First there was the Swinub, which wasn't so bad, it was really friendly and cute, then we met it's mother. Needless to say, we ran like heck out of there. We survived that little episode okay. I saw a Delibird farther along the way and it began reaching for its bag and I readied Eevee for battle. I was relieved to see that it pulled out a little wrapped gift. The brightly colorored paper caught my eye and the blue ribbon won me over. It handed me the present and happily skipped away; as I was reaching to openit, it blew up in my face. "Now I have scorch marks on my favorite shirt!" I said. "Eevee, remind me to pummel the next Delibird I see." He did after we saw another one, but it promptly transformed into its original form, a Ditto. Then the Ditto became an Abomasnow. I didn't leave there unscathed is all I'll say about it.

I looked ahead and saw my next destination, Ecruteak City. After a few days of walking, it was a relief to be here. I took what little money I had and found a cheap room for the night at the PokeCenter. I awoke the next morning from a dreamless sleep before the crack of dawn. Eevee was lying peacefully on the couch next to me. I woke him up and we headed out for the day. The hustle and bustle of the big city suprised me quite a bit. Eevee and I shopped for a few hours to get some supplies.

Later in the morning, we came upon a taxi service. Of course, I wanted to join the Pokemon Leauge. I had heard about the strength of the Gym Leaders and wanted to gain strength of my own. The only place to start was at an approved Pokemon labratory. The nearest one was in New Bark Town. We asked the cab driver to take us there and he agreed happily.

We reached New Bark in the evening, around sun-down. I immediately followed the signs to the lab after thanking the cabbie. It was a magnificent building; it had an ornately carved sign that read: "Elm Pokemon Evolution Reasearch Labratory". I knocked the door open and wandered inside with Eevee by my side. The fantastic computers could have easily filled my room. They had many screens with complicated figures and calculations. I walked over the tiled floor to a room at the end of the hall after exchanging glances with the rest of the staff. I knocked on the door quietly, and a young man, about in his 30s, answered. "Hello, I'm Professor Elm, may I help you with something? I assume you are here for the registration."

"Yes, sir," I replied. "Could you help me with that?"

"Sure, I'll need your full name and birthdate."

"Jason Icata, September 14th, 1990." I told professor Elm.

"I see, so, you are one of the Icatas. Its nice to meet you. Your family has some of the best trainers ever. Hold on, I'll register you." He walked over to a red and white computer that looked like the one at a PokeCenter. This one had a keyboard with many complicated controls, unlike the one you would find at home. He punched in a few keys and produced the newest Pokedex model from his lab coat. The sleek red design was very futuristic with the touchpad and microphone. He pluged a cord into it and downloaded some software. He handed me the Pokedex and a phone lke device. "This is your Pokegear," he said. "There are certain upgrades you can get for it, right now it only has a phone upgra-"

Slam! The door behind us was brought down to the ground and several tall men in black suits walked in. Their suits had large red 'R's on the chest. A blond-haired girl walked in behind them. "Why helloo, Elm. Giovanni sent me to check on your... progress," the woman said. "Surely you haven't forgotten! Have you?"

"I told that fool that I would never help him!" Elm retorted. He seemed angry, but helpless. Elm sighed. "Look, he said that you wouldn't bother me."

"Well, plans have changed. He wants your help to defeat a certain... child. He is powerful and he disrupted our plans. Plus there is a little side project I'm working on. I need those parts!" She slammed her fist upon the table. Calmming down she said, "Look, if you don't want to help us, than we may just have to take this cute little boy with us."

"What?!" I yelled. I checked to make sure Eevee was still safe; he was. I turned to face her and defend myself, but Elm stepped in.

"If you hurt him, I'll call out every trainer I know, your head will be on the top of the wanted list," he said cooly. "Your boss promised not to get anyone else involved."

"Hmm... Then apparently, you've been talking to the wrong man." She turned to her associates and spoke in a meniacal cold voice, "Take him and bring back to Base T. I want t have a little chat with 'Tyrannis'. Oh, and bring the kid, I have a feeling he knows more than he's letting on."

"But Miss. Carrie, Tyrannis?" asked one of her associates, nervously. "Are you sure?"

"You think I'd order something like that without being sure?" she inquired with wonder. Then she yelled, "Load them!" The next thing I knew, Elm and I were bound, gagged, and headed for "Base T".
 
RE: ~Pokemon: Ice Folly~ CH. 5 up!! Please Reply!!

~Chapter 6: Tyrannis~

Elm and I were thrown in a concrete room with a large steel foor, we were still tied up. The woman named Carrie said, "I hope you're comfortable in Team Rocket's hideout. You'll meet my boss, Tyrannis, soon."

"Tyrannis?" Elm asked from beside me. "What happened to Giovanni?" He had a smirk on his face.

"Uh.. Giovanni is away. Shut up! You don't know anything about us." She slammed the door angrily. I heard the clack of her heels against the metal floor grow fainter and fainter. Her voice was magnified when it echoed towards our door. "You fools!" she shouted. "I want Tyrannis in here immediately!"

"What was that all about?" I asked of Elm. He had a smirk on his face.

"Well, there have been rumors of a coup in Team Rocket. I have an odd premonition that this is it. Anyway, I have to do something." Elm grabbed a wire on the floor and asked me to hold one end of it. Squirming about, I reached it somehow. I held one end and he held the other then Elm began to move it back and forth. Soon, his rope was cut and he found a small black pager-like device in the pocket of his lab coat. After typing in a few numbers, he tied the rope back around him loosely.

"What are you doing?!" I yelled incredulously. "I need to get out! C'mon, we can escape!"

"No," Elm said simply. "I want to see how this all plays out."

Click-clack. The world seemed to stand still. Other than that sound, silence. Even in that metal room time slowed. The calm before a storm was present and we knew instincively that something bad would soon take place. An odd sensation passed through me. The door opened and a figure with a black coat stepped in, he seemed to emenate calmness. He opened his mouth to speak, "Hello, Professor Elm. I see you have a child with you, is he yours?" His voice was the essence of coldness, like a snake seducing its victim. A hood concealed his face but a picture was painted in my mind from his voice. This must be Tyrannis.

My stomach rumbled. I hadn't eaten in days or drinken anything in a while. My eyes began to lose focus and the world around me span as darkness surrounded me. I spun further and further into the oblivion.

Chapter six... Anybody want to reply?
 
Sorry. You won't be able to see him next chapter or the one after. You may see him in the one after that, but I'm not sure yet.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top