Finished Oak's Original Pokedex

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bacon

!!!!!
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So as this thread doesn't really belong anywhere, it's been shunted to the Game Corner. It's not really a "game" and belongs in the same oddball group as YLYL, so you should probably treat it as such.

General guide to thread:

1) Post stupid dex entries
2) In general that should be all you post lol
3) Try and mix it up by picking mons other people haven't covered

I won't insult anyone's intelligence by drowning the OP with a ruleset. You'll figure out how to make this thread work.

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We're all aware of the joke that Professor Oak gives you a completely empty Pokedex at the start of your Kanto adventure, which begs the question: What, actually, has Oak contributed to the world of Pokemon? How did he earn his esteemed title of "Professor"?

Mystified, I dug a little into the coding of Pokemon Red and unearthed some unused Pokedex entries. These are possibly the logs that were entered into the Pokedex by Oak himself, before the slate was wiped clean and handed over to Red.

Here is what I have found so far. I am not a good hacker, so maybe you can find more for me?

"Deposited this one into my PC. Intense magnetic fields bleached the entire hard drive and killed 93 Pokemon. I am so pissed right now oh my god."

"I liked this one a lot before it playfully licked my face and gave me third degree burns."

"This one moves slower than some Pokemon that do not move at all."

"This curious specimen flips upside down upon evolving. Unfortunately, it suffers a severe case of vertigo and spends the rest of its life perpetually screaming."

"Fat, lazy, sleeps all day... In order to understand how this beast is among the most powerful in Kanto, I tried copying its lifestyle. This led to a divorce, but I'm so fat now that the wedding ring won't even come off. "

Maybe we can hack the entire Kanto Pokedex...? I'll keep the OP updated with the more interesting entries.
 
I found a couple of them whilst digging around in the files!

"After blatantly staring at this enigmatic fish for about an hour I have deduced that it might be the most powerful Pokemon of all time -- it's just hiding its powers from public view."

"Hey! I found Poland!"
 
Bacon, why you gotta put me on the spot like this?

Ah yes, the Oakdex. I once came across what I assume was the final Pokédex entry made by the old professor:

This thing throws money, it literally throws money. IT. THROWS. MONEY. That's it, screw this walking around gig, I'm going to build myself a lab and get some stupid kids to do this for me.
I think I found some additional notes as well,
After 23 half-burnt Poké-corpses and 2 forest fires I think I can confidently say that this is, in fact, not a Pokéball.
PS. If you know someone who does prosthetic limps, please give me a call.
By far the most handsome Pokémon I've come across yet. Truly a remarkably good-looking specimen, perhaps the very pinnacle of creation.
Forget my previous entry, it seems I severely underestimated nature's beauty.
It seems like one of the eggs has suffered major damage, the other eggs don't seem to care. Upon removing the damaged egg, another egg immidiately takes its place and promptly smashes itself against the nearest wall. Future research seems advised.
After further research I can safely conclude that it tastes delicious.
Seriously, if you know someone who does prosthetic limps, please let me know. Or, you know, hooks, anything.
 
Deleted my "research" folder in my private drive, had to use my old "scientific" magazines. I hate this pokemon.
Its leaves can easily come out; they taste funny.
My hands are, like, god, dude.
The fungus overtook the pokemon's brain, this could be a threat to humankind, I must warn...
...
There is no problem, here. Puny hu-mans don't have anything to fear from u... the fungus. Yes.
They... kick when slapped in the flank.
Good thing I already had kids...

I'm old, guys, I can't remember the 1st gen pokemon.
 
I think I found a couple, not sure if these are any good though:

"After researching the mushrooms on its back, I have determined that eating them is not advised. Or it is if you want to have a fun night"

"I'm pretty sure this thing is just malware created by someone in Poke-China. It promptly started hacking my systems and then it oiBtew21 Opsd57bn 404 Page Not Found"
 
Bolt the Cat said:
KamonSurge said:
Are these for real? Cause they are hilarious

*facepalm* They're made up. It's a joke thread.

Are these for real? <---was intended in the skeptical tone

And they are hilarious was meant as a comment.

Just to clarify.
 
Let's keep this train on the rails

"Tried raising this one too. It forgot how to use Amnesia."
 
Entry 1: "Interestingly, this Pokemon is able to keep a flame lit on its tail! I wonder how it reacts when it is put out? I must test this!"

Entry 2: "oh god what have I done"

"In order to test its strength, I did what any scientist would do and challenged it to an arm wrestling contest. I am currently typing this from the hospital."
 
I love this Pokémon. It is so cute. When I tried to give it a hug it got scared and released a strange powder that paralyzed me for 4 hours, and went crazy. As I was motionless on the floor, I watched it evolve during its rampage and it destroyed all of my equipment while flying around. I need a lab bigger than my apartment.
 
This thread really didn't belong in the General Pokémon Discussion Forum, but since you guys are having fun creating your own entries I figured it could make a nice game. :p I moved it to the Forum Games section.

The goal of the game (what you guys were kind of already doing): Fill the whole Kanto Pokedex with PokeBeach/Oak entries. :)
 
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