My fake card

bass_forte

ANet FTW.
Member
Hmm. Not bad. Time for some crit.. *tries to find everything that isn't perfect*

-List the illustrator please.. I dunno, I guess as an artist, I hate my work not being acknowledged. It's just a courtesy.
-Fonts? Check PPN for the fonts.. near the top of the text. Not justified, but if your program can't do that, nothing you can do about it.
-Wow, Legendary Ascent. Well, perfect grammar. Just a slight spelling mistake.. evolve, not envolve.
-Bonemerang - more energy attached than what? Just unclear, I guess. Doing 50 seems very broken too.. yes, this is an ex, but I'd say follow Arcanine here. 20 and 30. :/
-Breaking Bone - not broken. =D
- (L) resistance almost never occurs nowadays, but it does work.

Aside from that, everything's good. Grammar's almost flawless.
 

elyorchh

Aspiring Trainer
Member
Ok, second version

... mmm second and finally marowak ex....
 

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  • MarowakFix.jpg
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bass_forte

ANet FTW.
Member
Breaking Bone was right the first time.. discard 2 (F) energy_ cards, not energys cards. What does Bonemerang actually do? I can't tell..
 

mathace

Math Warrior!!
Member
The card is good, except for the grammar. In addition, Boomerang is way to pricey... cut off one {C} energy to make it better.
 

elyorchh

Aspiring Trainer
Member
RE:  My fake card

bass_forte said:
Breaking Bone was right the first time.. discard 2 (F) energy_ cards, not energys cards. What does Bonemerang actually do? I can't tell..

Ok... I trying to say this.... Bonemerang (the name was taken of marowak of jungle set) as a Boomerang with his bone, so he has the faculty of a long distance target.... Ok... so Marowak look a the opponents Pokémon strongest at this point of battle "the pokemon that has more energys attached to it", and trow to that pokemon his boomerang, and do 50, in case of choose a benched pokemon, when the bone returns to Marowak, do 20 damage to the defending Pokémon. In case that the defending pokemon is actually the one with more energys attached of all opponents pokemon do 20 + 50 to the defending pokemon.

So... how do you say that, to put in a description to the attack???
 

Osiris' Prophet

Aspiring Trainer
Member
RE:   My fake card

This attack does 50 Damage to your opponent's pokemon with the most energy attached to it. (Choose one if there are two) If that pokemon is a benched pokemon, this attack does 20 to both active pokemon. (Don't apply weakness and resistance to benched pokemon)

Might not fit on the card already
 

bass_forte

ANet FTW.
Member
Good wording.. just a bit of grammar..

This attack does 50 damage to your opponent's Pokémon with the most energy attached to it (choose 1 if there are 2). If that Pokémon is a Benched Pokémon, this attack does 20 damage to each Defending Pokémon. (Don't apply Weakness and Resistance for Benched Pokémon.)
 

Osiris' Prophet

Aspiring Trainer
Member
RE:  My fake card

bass_forte said:
Good wording.. just a bit of grammar..

Sorry, I had to rewrite a few parts and forgot to proof read em. The attack itself seems too long in my opinion, but it's a good idea.
 

elyorchh

Aspiring Trainer
Member
Thanks Bass_forte and Osiris for your help.... dont miss my next episode.... "Marowak ex save the Day"... in Fan Creations ... See ya
 
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