Writing For The Love Of Unova!: A Story

StriatonIsMagic

StriatonIsMagic

I'll Never Forget This Day
Member
For the Love of Unova! The Introduction: What Are You Doing Here?!?!
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Unova, there was me. And I will be telling you my story. It starts like this:

I'm just sitting in my room, listening to Linkin Park, when this random lady comes in. I'm obviously surprised, but who wouldn't be in a situation like this? Anyways, the lady introduces herself, saying: "Hello, and welcome to the world of Pokémon! I'm Professor Juniper, the Pokémon Professor of the Unova region!" "Uh...okay, then? Why are you here, and what the heck is a Pokémon?" Completely ignoring my first question, she replies with, "Pokemon are mysterious creatures with powers, and are often used in battle." She then brings out a gray mouse-like thing apparently called a Minccino. Juniper asks for my gender and name. "I'm a girl, and the name's Tiffany. Again, why are you here?" Keeping up with her perpetual 'ignoring-all-questions-related-to-herself' thing, Juniper says, "Tiffany? What a great name! I'm going to introduce you to your best friends!" "I have friends?" "Yes, yes you do." Pulling up a picture of a rather attractive teenager looking about 14, a year older than me, Juniper states, "This is Cheren. He is stubborn, but honest and hard-working." 'I think I like him already.' I make a mental note of remembering his name. She then shows me another picture, of a young girl who she says is named Bianca. "She is pretty impulsive, but loyal." Suddenly, she throws me into a portal after wishing me well. That portal will change my life.

Suggestions and constructive criticism are appreciated, both with characters, and with my writing.
 
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I like it. As a fanfiction writer myself, in my opinion this is a good start. But it's too early to judge as of now, since it's only the first couple hundred words.
 
Episode #1: The Journey Begins!:

After being thrown into the portal, the day restarted. Literally. I was in my pajamas, in bed. I got up, got ready, and went on with my regular schedule. It appeared to be lunchtime in a matter of minutes, to my surprise. "Time must go by faster here." I think to myself. Then, the boy that Professor Juniper showed me a picture of appeared in my room. It takes me a minute to remember his name, but then it dawns on me. "Hey, Cheren." I say, smiling a little. Cheren waves, happy to see me. "Hey, Tiffany. We're getting our first Pokemon today." "We are?" I question. "Yes, yes we are. Bianca should be here in a minute."
"Hi, guys!" A cheerful voice rings out from my door. That must be her. "Sorry I'm late!" Bianca says, slightly embarrassed. "Nah, it's fine." Cheren shrugs. "I've been late many times myself. The Pokémon are inside the gift box over there." Cheren points to the gift box on my desk. "You pick first, Tiffany." "My pleasure." I respond happily. I open the box to find three creatures. They are Snivy, a snake, Oshawott, an otter, and Tepig, a pig. I choose Oshawott, whom I intend to name Miles. Bianca picks Tepig, and Cheren has Snivy.
Bianca asks me for a Pokémon battle, and I accept. Until Cheren tells me that battling inside is dangerous. Bianca doesn't care, and we battle. As her starter, a Fire type Pokemon (it says on the description I saw in the box), is weak to mine, a Water type, I obviously win. Bianca comments on how strong I am, and I smile. It's good to have friends. Cheren looks around the room. "Uh...Bianca?" "What?" She innocently replies. "You messed up Tiffany's room..."
"Oh! Sorry!" "It's alright." I say, smiling. Then, saying that the room can't be much messier than it already is, Cheren asks me for a battle of his own. I accept this battle too, and I eventually win, after much effort. "Wow, Cheren!" I say admiringly. "You're good at this!" Cheren blushes a little, as he isn't all that used to compliments, and heals up my Pokémon. "Well, shall we go?" "Sure."
We then head out, my mother saying that she'll clean up the mess, and we head over to Professor Juniper's lab. Bianca mysteriously disappears, Cheren saying that she's at her house and that I should check on her. "Alright. See ya later." "See ya." Cheren waves at me, like he did when he entered my house, and goes into the lab. I go over to Bianca's, to be startled by the site of her father yelling at her. "NO. You are not going throughout Unova. It's dangerous!" "But, dad! It'll be fun! I'll be safe!" Bianca is very irritated. Her mother then tells her that she can go, and Bianca walks away. She tells me not to tell anyone, and I agree. The two of us go into the lab where Juniper is waiting.
She tells us that she has sent us out to complete this thing called a Pokédex, which is basically a Pokémon classification system. She gives us an Extranceiver, a Skype-like system. Juniper then sends us on our way. Bianca, Cheren, and I go to Route 1. Cheren shows me how to catch a Pokémon, which is a fairly simple process. Bianca then has this crazy idea to take out first step in Route 1 together. I roll my eyes, and Cheren sighs, but we do it anyway.
After that, I find a Lillipup in the grass. Lillipups are dog-like creatures. I name mine Lillie, hoping that she will become more powerful. We then head over to Accumula Town, the next area in Unova. Professor Juniper cheerfully greets us, and takes us to a place called a Pokémon Center. It's a fairly weird place, with music box-style background music, a Poké Mart where you can buy items, and a lady who will heal your Pokémon.
"This is a PC Box." Juniper says, pointing to a red thing that looks like a mailbox. "You can place any Pokémon you don't have room for in your party in the box. Goodbye, everyone!" And she leaves. "That..was weird." Cheren says. He then hears something outside, "I wonder what's out there." He and I go out of the Pokémon Center, Bianca busy buying items.



Cheren and I watch an unusual speech by a guy apparently named Ghestis. "Hello. Everyone thinks that Pokémon are our friends. But are they really happy?" Ghestis says. "Oh, gosh..." Cheren rolls his eyes. He's heard this before. "The only way to make Pokémon happy is to liberate them from the bonds of humans!" He walks off stage, leaving the audience to think about this. "Sounds like PETA." I say. "What's PETA?" Cheren asks. "An organization who claims to help animals, but they don't." "That's sad."
All of a sudden, this guy named N, an associate of Ghestis, walks up to me, saying some mumbo-jumbo about the voice of my Pokémon. Then he asks me for a battle. I win, as he's weak. N walks away, saying that my Pokémon was actually happy. "What was that all about?" I ask Cheren. "I have no idea." Bianca walks out of the Pokémon Center, and we head to Route 2.
 
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Oh wow. This takes me back. xD

You've managed to capture the opening of BW pretty well, IMO. Might I ask if you're playing a Nuzlocke or some other playthrough alongside this, or is the story written just from what you remember about the games?

I'd like to suggest, since XenForo unfortunately doesn't allow for easy paragraph indenting, making each paragraph separated by a full line break, instead. I personally find it easier to read that way, and a lot of authors here on PB go that route. :)

Also, you might like to break a new paragraph whenever a new person speaking dialogue comes up. Most authors use this, as it makes it less confusing to figure out who's speaking. ;)

It'll be interesting to see where you take this. I'm curious as to whether you'll stick to the storyline of BW or go into a different plot. Looking forward to it. :D
 
Jabberwock said:
Oh wow. This takes me back. xD

You've managed to capture the opening of BW pretty well, IMO. Might I ask if you're playing a Nuzlocke or some other playthrough alongside this, or is the story written just from what you remember about the games?

I'd like to suggest, since XenForo unfortunately doesn't allow for easy paragraph indenting, making each paragraph separated by a full line break, instead. I personally find it easier to read that way, and a lot of authors here on PokéBeach go that route. :)

Also, you might like to break a new paragraph whenever a new person speaking dialogue comes up. Most authors use this, as it makes it less confusing to figure out who's speaking. ;)

It'll be interesting to see where you take this. I'm curious as to whether you'll stick to the storyline of BW or go into a different plot. Looking forward to it. :D
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This story is based upon my playthrough of Pokémon Black. Not a Nuzlocke, just a standard playthrough. For the most part, I'm sticking to the original storyline of the games, but I'll add some of my own take on the story and characters, especially in the next chapter. Thanks for the feedback!
 
This is pretty good. You've taken the BW games plot line and put it into a written story. That's pretty cool! Good job with the first chapter, and hopefully I'll get to read more or your stuff. If you'd like to check any of my stuff out, it's on my profile!
 
Episode 2: Destiny, Dreams, and Other Things (Part 1):

So, I'm just on Route 2, and my mom pops up and gives me a pair of running shoes. Running shoes are sneakers, basically. She wishes me well, and I walk along. I run into a Purrloin, which is a very weak cat Pokémon, but I catch it anyway. Upon realizing the Purrloin is female, I name her Angel. I battle some trainers to get my Pokémon stronger, then Bianca shows up and asks me for a battle. I accept, and I win. 'I'm good at this...' I think to myself.

"You know that the next town has a Gym in it, right?" Bianca asks me. "Well, yeah..." I reply. "All too well." Bianca looks at me in surprise. "What do you mean 'all too well'? "I mean that I, uh, just look at this web page..." I pull up my blog "Your Ridiculous Striaton Fangirl", which is basically an outlet for my obsessive fangirling over Cilan, Chili, and Cress, the Gym Leaders of Striaton City.

After examining my blog for a while, Bianca looks up from my phone. "Oh...that explains it...also, Cheren is in the Trainer's School studying things, if case you were wondering." "Totally explains it. And thanks." I say, walking into the entrance of Striaton. I heal up my Pokémon at the Pokémon Center, and go over to the Trainer's School. I see Cheren, and smile at him.

Cheren notices me soon after, putting down a book on type matchups. "Hey, Tiff!" Apparently, he gave me that nickname recently. It's not like I mind. "Hey, Cherie!" I say back. It only makes sense that I should give him a nickname too. "So...wanna battle?" Cheren asks me. "Sure. Don't see why not. Though I just battled Bianca..." "You did? Oh, alright. If anything, we can just talk for a while." Cheren smiles. "I'd be fine with that." I say.

"What have you been doing while I was on Route 2?" I ask Cheren. "Nothing much. Just studying type matchups." "Ah, okay. The basic ones, or the more complex?" I enquire. "Basic matchups for now. Fire, Grass, Water, stuff like that." "Gotcha. Now that we've talked for a while, I think I can battle now." "Alright! Let's do this!"
Cheren sends out his Purrloin, and I send out Miles. I order Miles to use Water Gun, and the Purrloin gets quickly KOed. "Nice hit." Cheren compliments me on my battle technique. "Hey, I just used Water Gun, not that hard." He then sends out Snivy, and I switch Miles for Lillie. Lillie uses Tackle, and Snivy uses Vine Whip. This makes Lillie on half HP. I use a Potion to heal her. Once this is done, the battle continues. Snivy uses Vine Whip again, and I use Tackle, knocking it out.

"You did great." Cheren says approvingly. "Thanks, Cherie." We shake hands, and go our separate ways for the time being. I then notice a strange area to the right of the Gym next to me. I go inside the area, which turns out to be a place called the Dreamyard. I battle some trainers, and a lady walks up to me, giving me a Pokéball. The Pokémon inside it is Pansear, a monkey, who I name Bob (because I can). I say thanks to the lady, and walk out of the Dreamyard. "I'm going to release you right after this Gym battle." I tell Bob. Bob looks at me in disdain. "Here I go." I say, stepping into the Gym. To my surprise, there aren't any beginning trainers.

A voice rings out from another part of the Gym. "FOR THE LAST TIME, LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE!" I hear a door slam, and then silence. Someone walks out of the door, looking exasperated. "Sorry about that. The name's Cress, and I specialize in Water-type Pokémon. That was my brother, Chili. He isn't exactly having the best day today, you know."

"I'm Tiffany. Nice to meet you. And aren't you a DJ?" I ask him. "Tiffany, eh? Nice meeting you too. And yes, I am a DJ. Why do you ask?" "Because I'm one of your subscribers on YouTube." I reply factually. "Ah, alright." Cress nods. "I see you have an Oshawott."
"I do. To ask you the same question you just asked me, why do you ask?" "Because whatever starter you pick, depends on who you fight here. I'll go get Cilan for you, because you'll be fighting him. Well, it was nice talking to you." "You too." I sit and wait on a bench.
Again, to my surprise, Cilan isn't who shows up. 'That's definitely Chili.' I think. Indeed it was. "Why can't I just go home? There's a new episode of 'All You Need To Know About Metal' and I have to watch it!" Chili was just talking to himself.
"Oh...another challenger..." He says, noticing me. "Lemme guess, you're one of those annoying fangirl Directioners, aren't ya?"

"Directioner? No way! Dude, I like EDM and stuff. And Linkin Park." I say, trying to ignore his irritation. "Wait...YOU LIKE LINKIN PARK TOO?!?!" Chili's eyes immediately light up. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." "That's freaking awesome! You know, it's rare for me to find someone around here who isn't a fan of One Direction, and pop music." Chili seems relieved to find someone he can freely rant to.

"I know that feeling." He and I end up having a long conversation on the annoyance of mainstream music, then I hear a voice. "Um, hi. I guess you're here to fight me."

(To be continued..., also, why can I not use freaking indents?!??)
 
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StriatonIsMagic said:
(To be continued..., also, why can I not use freaking indents?!??)
Click to expand...

If you want your text to indent, you need to use the actual indent tag. Just adding spaces and/or tabs before a paragraph isn't going to work. However, this will make your entire paragraph indented (the way this paragraph is; I used the indent tag in this post on purpose to show you how it looks). Forum software is not really set up to indent paragraphs the way books do. This is why the RoA Guidelines strongly suggest double spacing all paragraphs.​
 
Athena said:
If you want your text to indent, you need to use the actual indent tag. Just adding spaces and/or tabs before a paragraph isn't going to work. However, this will make your entire paragraph indented (the way this paragraph is; I used the indent tag in this post on purpose to show you how it looks). Forum software is not really set up to indent paragraphs the way books do. This is why the RoA Guidelines strongly suggest double spacing all paragraphs.​
Click to expand...
Oh, okay. I type up all my stories on Pages (Microsoft Word for iPhones, basically), then copy-paste them here.
 
Note to people reading this: This story will not be updated for a little bit, because I'm having a ton of fun writing another story. Don't worry, it won't be gone for good, i just taking a break.
 
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