Writing Arctic's Poems!

[Arcticwhite]

I found out I have a flaw for poetry, so I'll post a few!
Enjoy!

1. Love is Doom

It cannot be calculated,
It cannot be predicted
Love is doom.

It can create new life
Or take it away
As Earth shifts through time,
Love shifts through hearts.
Tearing them in two,
Fixing them back up.
Love is doom.

Doom brings tears
As does love
Doom brings confusion
As does love.

Some worship it
Whilst others fear it

Love is doom.
Love is the apocalypse.

 

[Rally]

Very nice! The thing is I'm sort of a Punctuation Policeman, so I have some little corrections for you. This one isn't that big, just some small errors that don't really add to the deeper meaning.

(Changes and opinions in bold).

It can create new life
Or take it away
As Earth shifts through time,
Love shifts through hearts.
Tearing them in two,
Fixing them back up.
Love is doom.

It cannot be calculated,
It cannot be predicted.
Love is doom.

Personally, I think that changing the punctuation style completely is a little bit of a stretch in what you are trying to accomplish. I just don't think it is completely necessary. I see it all the time, and is usually very cliché.

Doom brings tears,
As does love.
Doom brings confusion,
As does love.
Some worship it,
Whilst others fear it.

More punctuation corrections, and make this into one verse!

Overall, it's a great poem. There's meaning that you can feel behind it, and it contains great elements. Some little things I didn't understand though is why the "Love is the apocalypse" at the end. Some people may think it very cool, the way it looks, but in my opinion, it also looks a little clichéd.

It is very hard to write free verse poems, so try some with outlines first. Also, It seems you might be rushing into your art. Don't. You can get results your extremely happy with instead you just happy with, once the effort is put into it. I love this poem. Great job, and I hope to see some more of your art.