Writing A Story About Nine Eevees And A Trainer Called Eevee! =O

[Arceus999]

Prologue - The Nine Eevees


The first nine Pokemon were nine Eevees. However, one appeared before the other eight. It was slightly different from the Eevees of today, because it was slightly bigger, it had darker fur, and had a longer tail.

Eevee got bored after around a week of life. There was nothing to do, and there was no one to play with. So, he collected up all the Energy around him, and... Evolved to a Pokemon called Arceus. Well, Evolving didn't help much, and after a day or two, he got bored again! This time, he created 8 other Pokemon, Eevee, Eevee, Eevee, Eevee, Eevee, Eevee, Eevee, and Eevee.

Finally, Arceus had something to do! Unfortunatly for Arceus, he was too big for all the little Eevees, so he collected all the Energy around him again, and made seven of them Evolve - he couldn't find enough Energy to Evolve all eight of the Eevees.

They got bored of floating around in space eventually, and hey wanted something under their feat - after all, what did Arceus give them legs for, if they could use them? So, Arceus created millions of planets, and one in paricular, called Earth, where they would live. They all landed on Earth, and now they had a home!

Arceus created the following Pokemon, off a dare made by Glaceon. Mew, Lugia, Ho-Oh, Celebi, Entei, Raikou, Suicune, Regice, Regirock, Registeel, Rayquaza, Groudon, Kyogre, Latias, Latios, Deoxys, Jirachi, Giratina, Dialga, Palkia, Shaymin, Darkrai, Azelf, Mesprit, Uxie, and Regigigas.

Now Eevee was getting bored! So, it asked Arceus if Arceus could create more Pokemon, it's size. So, Arceus created many Pokemon Eevee's size... and more! He created all the Pokemon in the world! Except for 5 - Castform, Porygon, Porygon2, PorygonZ, and what was to be the only Pokemon to even try to usurp Arceus's power, Mewtwo.

So, that's the story about the nine Eevees, the first Pokemon. But, wait! The title of this thread mantions something about a Trainer called Eevee! Well, in Chapter 1, we can all meet Eevee - and his first Pokemon, Eevee!

 

[Max Shade IV]

One: There are many Pokémon facts you butchered. Arceus created Dialga and Palkia first, not eight Eevees. And Mewtwo was a cloned Pokémon made by Team Rocket Scientists. Porygon was created in a computer program, and Porygon2/Porygon-Z are upgrades for the "program" Pokémon. Eevee also was genetically engineered to evolve.

Two: You can't say something was floating higher in space that something else. In space, I could look upsidedown to you, but you would look upsidedown to me. Directions in the vaccuum known as outer space is all relative to the perciever.

Three: When writing a fic, you must use proper English, not, "Now, it got bored, oh, maybe after a week of life." That is the most distgusting display of comma splices I've ever seen. And the whole thing is written as though you were talking to us. That in itself makes the fic sound bad as someone reads it.

One and Two are your choice on fixing, since this is a Fan Fiction. But, if you don't at least make an effort to correct my third critizism (SP?), I will report this thread to be locked for violation of the Grammer and Spelling rule. Please read the Important Thread in the Writing Corner that specifically says, "READ BEFORE POSTING."

Your English Teacher,

Max Shade IV