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> HydroCannon's Poetry (New Poems: Post 48)

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Post: #16
RE: BlastBurn's Poetry

Wow! That's some awesome stuff! xD

I especially like Not the End, Just the Beginning and Blessings
Keep on! ^_^

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01-08-2012 05:52 PM
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Post: #17
RE: BlastBurn's Poetry

Haha thanks! Im glad you like them!! I need to add a new poem... Hold on! ;D

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01-08-2012 08:01 PM
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Post: #18
RE: BlastBurn's Poetry

Alright, its about time I added a poem. Tongue


"Life's Tempest"

I feel lost wihtout reason,
Like following an endless trail;
I don't know how I got here,
And I feel like such a fail.

The signs don't mean anything,
My prayers feel in vain;
I try hard to leave this maze,
But my efforts leave me insane.

I look around,
Yet it's cold and dark;
Evil lurks all around,
And I can't follow life's mark.

But deep inside,
A light grows bright;
Allowing me, eventually,
To see God's clear light.

And with that light,
My life becomes clear,
I realize now,
The end is quite near.

I can't thank Him more,
For His everlasting Grace,
It saved my life,
Bringing life to my face.

Now I have a new goal,
My goal is to be a light,
I want to show the world,
He will save you from eternal fright.

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03-21-2012 07:28 AM
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Post: #19
RE: BlastBurn's Poetry

Need to hear some feedback! Also, I want requests for poems! Big Grin

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03-28-2012 06:28 PM
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Worldly Angel


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Post: #20
RE: BlastBurn's Poetry

Shoot. I wish I had read this earlier. That first one is so deep. Let's just say that you write stuff I enjoy to feel, touch, live, and enjoy. It reminds me of some times in my life where someone has been helpless and it may be best to let them deal with it. Great job there, HC.

As for requests, I would like to see something about feelings towards a friend who betrayed the speaker. Your choice on the speaker's attitude/mood, but it sounds like a potentially deep write-up. Good luck if you accept.

~AoH

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03-29-2012 08:43 PM
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Post: #21
RE: BlastBurn's Poetry

(03-29-2012 08:43 PM)AoH Wrote:  Shoot. I wish I had read this earlier. That first one is so deep. Let's just say that you write stuff I enjoy to feel, touch, live, and enjoy. It reminds me of some times in my life where someone has been helpless and it may be best to let them deal with it. Great job there, HC.

As for requests, I would like to see something about feelings towards a friend who betrayed the speaker. Your choice on the speaker's attitude/mood, but it sounds like a potentially deep write-up. Good luck if you accept.

~AoH
Ah indeed! Your feedback is much appreciated! I glad that my poems are reaching out! Smile As for your request.... CHALLANGE ACCEPTED! Smile

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03-30-2012 07:56 AM
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Post: #22
RE: BlastBurn's Poetry

Ok, this is a poem that a friend wrote for me. It is the first poem that a "significant other" has ever written for me. I really like it, and asked her to post it up her, and she agreed. This is her poem:

"The Fine Print"

Love, it's a complicated subject.
Although some people try to make it simple.
It's meaning is a warm personal attachment.
They forget to tell you, there's only real love in fairy tales.

Love is synonymous with one word.
Anguish. That's love.
Love is lying, cheating, crying;
Love is stealing, breaking, dying.

Love is a fine print.
They say, "Love is patient. Love is never ending. Love is kind"
Except it's not.
They say love has no exceptions, but they lie.

Love is infatuational crap.
Love is not joy, it is not good times, it is not merciful.
Love is not permanent.
The fine print for love goes on and on.

"Offer only valid if your a fictional character in a fictional story."
"Offer only valid if you have a perfect life."
I could shorten the fine print.
"Offer only valid if you're imaginary."

Love shows weakness.
Love is accepting weakness.
I am weak.
So now I confess:

Love is admiring that one person,
even if they're not a pretty princess with lots of money.
Love is telling your significant other,
when they have make-up smears.

Love is wanting that person,
who can belch A-Z in one belch.
Love is admiring them for being so imperfect,
that it's perfect.

Love IS patient.
Love IS kind.
It isn't angry.
It doesn't boast.

Love is you,
Love is in you.
Love is in all of us.
Love is something you do.

Love is help,
Love is here.
Love is my friend.
Love is real.






Oh, and yes... I can belch A-Z in one go ( Please do not worry, I have not ever done it for someone outside my family! Big Grin ) I liked it, and want to hear feedback on it. This came from a 15 year old amazing girl, as her first poem. Big Grin

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(This post was last modified: 04-02-2012 07:28 AM by Hydro Cannon.)
04-02-2012 07:21 AM
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Incinermyn

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Post: #23
RE: BlastBurn's + HydroCannon's Poetry

Not bad, but I personally feel that love poems need to focus more on either the lovey-dovey feelings brought on by romantic relationships or the heartbreak that ensues if things just don't work out. To me it seems like there's a bit of flip-flopping between the first set of emotions and the series of proverbial headaches that come about amidst them while people are in love with one another. I'm not sure how to fully describe it, though...
04-02-2012 09:41 AM
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Post: #24
RE: BlastBurn's + HydroCannon's Poetry

Thats true. Im think she was trying to convey how we mis-interpret love, to be something its not. How the world views it, and how it is viewed by her. Choppy, but hey. Better than nothing, I hope. xD I think it does point our conflicts in-between both parties of "lovey-dovey" and "Heartbreak"... And so... Yeah. xD

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04-02-2012 09:44 AM
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PB's Unofficial Smeargle


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Post: #25
RE: BlastBurn's + HydroCannon's Poetry

(04-02-2012 09:41 AM)Incinermyn Wrote:  Not bad, but I personally feel that love poems need to focus more on either the lovey-dovey feelings brought on by romantic relationships or the heartbreak that ensues if things just don't work out.
=_=''

Did you really just say "Here's what the poem should have been about?" What?! Poetry is about self expression, not some baloney social conventions or your personal ideas about what a love poem should and shouldn't be.

Poem is great, in my opinion. I don't agree with it on most points, but nonetheless I can understand the perspective of the typical "woe is me" teenager.

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04-02-2012 01:31 PM
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Incinermyn

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Post: #26
RE: BlastBurn's + HydroCannon's Poetry

(04-02-2012 01:31 PM)Spammy Wrote:  =_=''

Did you really just say "Here's what the poem should have been about?" What?! Poetry is about self expression, not some baloney social conventions or your personal ideas about what a love poem should and shouldn't be.

Poem is great, in my opinion. I don't agree with it on most points, but nonetheless I can understand the perspective of the typical "woe is me" teenager.
I stand by my comment. Poetry is subjective, but that doesn't set it apart from other literature in the sense that it can be still analyzed and critiqued! Love poems aren't of particular interest to me to begin with, so I only say things based on how I would've written stuff. That's what most critics do.
04-02-2012 02:03 PM
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Post: #27
RE: BlastBurn's + HydroCannon's Poetry

Now guys, let's not get too heated here! Smile Apollo was just making a comment on what he thought about my poem. I'm glad he did so. No need to point fingers here. Smile No worries!

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04-02-2012 03:08 PM
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Worldly Angel


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Post: #28
RE: BlastBurn's + HydroCannon's Poetry

Well. I can't tell if you posted this for my request or for her sake, but I must say, for a fifteen-year-old, that's great. I never saw affections portrayed like that before, denying and believing simultaneously. She must care to have that complex of thoughts about what love is. It's bold too - reminds me of Walt Whitman - in that there are few rhyming or syllabic-consistent stanzas. That's supposed to speak out, so I bet there's a strong feeling in your friend. Tell her that this touched me, and that I wish you two . . . well, I bet you can fill in the blanks here. It's funny that you two are both interesting poets, huh?

~AoH

EDIT (to below): Okay. I'm waiting then. Just remember that I'm no 'sir'. I . . . am your age.

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04-03-2012 04:16 AM
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Post: #29
RE: BlastBurn's + HydroCannon's Poetry

Thank you sir! She will appreciate the nice feedback. It's not your poem, yours is coming up shortly! Smile

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04-03-2012 04:38 AM
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Post: #30
RE: BlastBurn's + HydroCannon's Poetry

These are so pretty!
I love them all!
You should post some of my poems on here...(aw daaanng where's the strikethrough?!!?)

I actually think the best poems come out of teenagers, because they're still experiencing (i know, it's gotta be spelled wrong) new things and ideas, which gives way for lots of poetic ideas and things.
I write poems for just about everything, mostly when I'm upset, and sometimes for fun. I think it works better than writing a journal when you're upset or a story, because no-one has to know what it means, as long as it makes sence to YOU. It's just cool...it feels good and then you read it later and go, "Wow. I can't believe I made this!"

Bravo, sir!
(This post was last modified: 04-03-2012 09:04 AM by Vulpix-core.)
04-03-2012 08:55 AM
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